General Question

wundayatta's avatar

What are some of the troubles you've faced in your life?

Asked by wundayatta (58604points) September 29th, 2010

I don’t think you can live without having troubles to overcome. Some are horrible things like dealing with abuse or cancer. Others are more ordinary like passing a class in school or getting a job or finding someone to spend your life with, or having a marriage break up.

What are some of the troubles you’ve faced in your life? Pick one that is especially significant to you. What did you learn from that?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

37 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I was sexually abused as a child. It had a profound effect on my life until I dealt with it through therapy and group movement work.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Short answer, Cancer. Glad to still be here, but my memory functions were severely impaired by chemo, it’s a challenge sometimes.

SuperMouse's avatar

As a youngster I dealt with watching my mother die and my father’s subsequent alcoholism and physical abuse. Since then my challenges, though they sometimes feel incredibly daunting to me, have been a lot less intense. Over the past four years I have been consistently challenged by the reality of divorce and becoming a single mom intermingled with trying to forge a new and healthy relationship, graduate from school, and keep all the financial balls in the air.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Well, Paris Hilton probably thinks she has a hard life when people make fun of her, conveniently forgetting the millions and millions of dollars. likewise, I may think i have had problems. but really, im healthy, I always have food, and Im not sitting in a concentration camp or desert waiting to die. If a mad man burst in to my house right now and gutted me, i would still be one of the lucky ones for having made it this far in this much comfort.

However, I had a crappy experience at school and hated every day of it, I was once a fugitive for about 3 years for crimes I did not do. and I constantly loathe my self and see my self as a failure (but i do consider the last one a good thing)

CMaz's avatar

Lost my dream job. But, life goes on.

Aster's avatar

I was very upset about being underweight for years in jr high. I felt like an adolescent male.
Being forced to leave my childhood friends and home at sixteen to move across country tore me apart. I cried every night and felt like an outsider due to a change in culture in the big city.
Then I was in a marriage for twenty years where I was “attacked” you might say about every other month and my kids saw it. They’d cry and run away. It still almost moves me to tears thinking of them. They love him dearly and we don’t talk about it. The abuse wasn’t visible until our last month together. Back then, it seemed normal to me. His mother simply said he had a temper and I learned to live with it. It resulted in decades of anxiety which is better now.
My parents were kind and loving so I can’t complain there.
My husband has had and is having some health problems but he’s playing golf now and he isn’t concerned. He’s a very strong person.
One of my daughters is very troubled; I don’t remember when she wasn’t up in a tree over something . She makes me physically ill so avoiding her is sad but necessary. I can’t fix her.
That’s about it for me.

lukiarobecheck's avatar

That is an easy question for me to answer right now. In your example you mentioned finding a job. I am having the most difficult time in finding a job right now. I am looking to start on the ground floor in an IT department. Which I hear is a rising field right now, but in the DFW area it is proving to be a difficult task to find a company to work for.
I am trying to learn as much from this experience as I can, but it is hard to not get down on my self at the same time. Each day I sit at home and apply to as many jobs as I can find, and usually hear nothing back in return. Which really takes a toll on the psyche. So I try as hard as I can to take all this in stride.
Also my mother is going through treatment for cancer right now. So that is weighing on me as well. I hate to complain, when there are so many others out there who truly do have it worse than I. I know that in time I will find a job, and my mothers cancer is completely treatable. But it still feels like a beat down at times.

chels's avatar

Abuse all throughout high school.
Not being able to properly show and express my emotions in the past which has made me a super overly-emotional person today.
Dealing with many stress/anxiety induced health issues. Both physical and mental.
Being put in an outpatient program at a mental hospital with no valid reasoning.
NJ DYFS not believing me when I told them about the abuse which in turn just lead to more abuse.
Not graduating with the rest of my high school class.
Horrible, abusive relationship with a complete and total douche bag. Excuse my French.
Another shitty relationship with someone who treated me like a child and who took me for granted and admitted to it.
Because of the above things, I’m extremely self-conscious and insecure. Weight is probably the hardest for me to deal with when it comes to this.
Dealing with the fact that I feel like I always do everything wrong. This is due to the fact that out of 4 kids, I was the only one that was abused.
Lately, dealing with irrational fears that I know are irrational but can’t control. It’s awful because it makes me feel helpless a lot of times.

The list could really go on forever.

The thing about troubles, though, is that they make you stronger in the long run. I would not be the person I am today without all of those things happening in my life – I would not change anything that’s happened to me or that I’ve been through, even if I had the chance. I love where I am in life right now.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Running away from the country of my birth without notice because there was a war. Leaving everything behind in Russia and leaving to the U.S. without notice because my parents figured I didn’t need to know why. Losing my brother at 17. Losing friends to suicide and to war. Having panic attacks and anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Getting through postpartum depression. Going through a miscarriage. Going through a divorce. Going through a painful, emotionally, break-up. There are other things, I don’t feel like talking about them.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Learning to live sober on a daily basis is the most profound difficulty I’ve ever had to face. I’m a recovered alcoholic. I did it through a 12-step program that turned my life around 180 degrees. I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Blackberry's avatar

My troubles weren’t as bad compared to other people’s lol. I have been pretty lucky, although I’m still expecting something really messed up to happen later in life.

Serevaetse's avatar

My brother died. We were really close. He died on the 22nd of December. Right before he was going to finally come home and visit for Christmas and my birthday. I was the first to find out.
My dad, who I love with my whole life and heart, has cancer. No job. And my mom treats him terribly. They never got married, so I never got to see a functional family work together which was hard for me. We don’t know how long he has to live and that scares me terribly.
My other brother moved to Mexico, and I miss him very much.
I have another brother (three total) who lives closer, about a half hour away, but he rarely likes to see me and my mom because my mom treats us all so rudely. So I am stuck alone with her.

There are other things going on, but those are the only worth complaining about.
However, out of all of this, my life is worthwhile because;

Even though my brother died, it was because he overdosed on heroine. He hated that he did drugs, but he lived on the streets and had no way to stop taking drugs. I feel like his death finally freed him from the drugs he hated. He made me promise years ago not to ever do drugs. Although I have no desire to, it makes me happy to fulfill that promise to him. He lived on the streets in San Fransisco, so I got to visit there, and I drew a tattoo in honor of him (a feather and his name) that I got on my ankle while I was in San Fran. The feather represents freedom.

My dad, although very poor and suffering every day, is very proud of me. It makes me happy that i can make him proud. I was the first to graduate, and the first to go to college right after graduating. I don’t do drugs and I treat him well and help him out. This helps me feel accomplished.

Although my mom treats me terribly, she still does a lot for me- like purchases food and shelter for me and gives me a bed to come home to and sleep in. I am grateful for this.

And when my brother moved to Mexico, I got to go out of the country to visit him, which was an amazing experience that I was so thankful for. I got to see my niece, who I love very much, and got to see awesome things while in Mexico.

So my life is so blessed and I am a very lucky person. I have a good boyfriend, a good life, and a good job.
No wait- an amazing boyfriend, a fantastic life, and a great job.

Thank you for listening. (:

Lightlyseared's avatar

I agree with @chels. I’ve had my share of troubles, nothing particularly exciting or noteworthy, but still unpleasant to deal with at the time and you do sometimes wish that it didn’t have to happen to you. However when I look back at them now I can see how they have helped to shape me as a person, the impact they have had on my life and on my outlook to things. Maybe I am not the person I wanted to be when I was 18, maybe I could have done better if things had been different but I am happy with who I am now and what I am doing and all the bad things have helped to make me who I am in the just as much as the good things.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

Well the most current trouble is being in Love with someone who finds every excuse in the book to not be together.
I believe he has his own issues he is not facing and is behaving like a child and treating me like one also.
He would rather buy me things than be with me…together.
I don’t want things, i want him.
Really hope one day he is able to work out his issues and not be so committed to his single life. However if that is what makes him happy, so be it.
Sure hope he doesn’t forget me, but if he does i guess everything happens for a reason.

LuckyGuy's avatar

My prostate was rotten. I had it taken out, wore pee pads for 6 months, and now I’m fine.

After reading the comments above, it seems mental problems are much harder to solve.

I now pee like a 15 year old! I’m so proud, I wish i could show my friends!

. .

Serevaetse's avatar

@worriedguy haha… that was the cutest/most awkward/different thing I have ever read (:

I hope you don’t take that wrong, it’s a good thing

Aster's avatar

@worriedguy Success!! That’s great , WG!!

Cruiser's avatar

Cheating death more than a half dozen times was some of my more memorable challenges. Also finally out of the woods with a life challenge I faced with my youngest for the past 5 years. Everything else is small potatoes compared to what other people I know are going through.

Life is a bitch at times and death can be a blessing.

JustmeAman's avatar

Well I have to tell you last night was not a good night. I came home from work and my female golden retriever was breathing hard. I took her in to the Vet and she had cancer all through her lungs. I had to put her down. And then this morning I get up to go to work and when I went out to get in the car. I found that both our cars had been ransacked. They broke some things and took other things. This is very minor compared to the rest of my life but I was thinking about it this morning so I responded this way. Thanks

Cruiser's avatar

@JustmeAman Bummer about the cars and big bummer about your puppy! So sorry about all that!

JustmeAman's avatar

Thanks @Cruiser My Lizzie has been with us for 12 years it was very hard. I stayed with her and held her head as she passed.

DominicX's avatar

Not much. I don’t usually like answering questions like this because it just makes my life seem “cushy”, but all I can do is tell the truth.

The main thing of course was being gay and being closeted. When I first realized it around age 14, I had quasi-suicidal thoughts, thinking that my life would only get harder from then on and that I would never have a “normal” life and I would have to spend the rest of my life pretending to be straight, so why not quit while I was ahead? I am so glad those feelings did not last long. What a waste that would’ve been. Of course I wish I would’ve come out earlier, but coming out last year was good enough; I no longer feel like I’m living a lie and things have been excellent since.

My grandmother getting Alzheimer’s and then later dying of it was another thing. She and I had so much in common, but I was too young to fully realize it at the time and I missed my chance to share my interests with her since she got Alzheimer’s so early on. Her disease really stressed out my mom and I never realized just how much it affected her. She told me that she was tempted to drink because of it all. I knew none of that at the time. Losing my grandmother was not easy.

But I mean, other than that, I have had it pretty easy. Had a great school experience, had accepting and supportive friends and family, etc. I definitely appreciate it all.

tinyfaery's avatar

Too many to list here.

wundayatta's avatar

First I want to thank everyone who has answered for your stories. They are amazing ones! Second, I want to mention one thing that has struck me: it seems like people feel a need to justify their troubles as troubles and/or to compare them to other people’s troubles.

To me, troubles are troubles. They are unique to the person. One person may have been abused and another may be upset because they have a stone in their shoe. It’s all troubles and I don’t think any apologies are needed.

I don’t mind if you are judging yourself. I just hope you are judging yourself because that’s what you think, and not because you think others will judge you.

I think troubles are often the stories of our lives. They are points where our lives turn. They are what we can point to and say, “I learned this,” or “I learned that.” There are troubles that take a great deal of effort to deal with and troubles that take less energy. There may be life long troubles, such as a chronic disease, or minor daily troubles such as what to get for lunch today.

My list of troubles include having trouble getting a job after college (ended up as a door to door canvasser, which took me on a number of adventures); discovering that I was infertile (which made me realize how important I thought seeing my genes in my children is); and mental illness (which has given me a whole host of tiny revelations and which may, possibly, turn me into a published writer).

There are many others. I’m 54 years old. There should be. I also have the perspective to understand how troubles form us over the long term (not just immediate impact).

Again, I really appreciate the stories you have told me, and I look forward to more, and I urge you not to judge your troubles as to whether they are troubles enough to put here. Whatever you are thinking is a trouble at the moment is fine with me.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

My younger brother died, I am not really sure how he died since I was also in like 3rd grade or something. We never talk that much about him, but I am gonna sit sometime and ask my mother to tell me the specifics of what happened:/

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Also there was once when my step-dad was drunk.
Me and mom were sleeping together in my room that night since I was scared of sleeping alone cause I had jus finished watchinga scary movie. So my stepdad came into my room and climbed in my bed in his pants thinking it was mom, I did feel hes private parts trying to….
He apologized and all that.
But from there on I dont feel as comfortable around him anymore….I hate even when he hugs me :/

john65pennington's avatar

As a child, i never had the chicken pox. i do not have any pox marks on my body and my mother states i had every childhood disease, except chicken pox. she should know.

Each time i answered someones call for the police, i prayed that no small children would be inside, with the chicken pox. at my age, a case of chicken pox could have been devastating.

I guess the guardian angels were again looking out for me.

mrrich724's avatar

My mom died in a motorcycle accident when I just turned 19. It was a week before I had to leave for my sophomore year in college.

I wanted to stay for my little brother (6 or so at the time), but I didn’t get along well with my stepfather, and that’s who my lil’ bro lived with.

My mother raised me as a single woman, she was my best friend. And my little brother was the most important person in my life at the time. (now second only to my wife, but I like to consider them both tied for first.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

In 6th grade I met a really good friend. I abused the time I had with her. Then in 7th grade I had less time and stupidly instead of enjoying it I got upset. Now I’m in 8th grade and I only have 5 minutes everyday to see her, and I enjoy every second. I learned not to take advantage of time and what you have because things can always get worse.

Blackberry's avatar

I don’t want to be lame and say I’m sorry to everyone, but I am sorry, everyone.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Like so many people, I have abandonment issues, trust and control issues resulting from a transient childhood, teen years of no one much to rely on but me and young adult years of trying to give myself everything I wanted and wanted others to give me. As an adult over 40, I’m facing some of these issues again as I’ve gleaned what I really want for my second leg of life and feeling so pushed for time to have them.

Frenchfry's avatar

I’ll name a few. I have lost my whole immediate family . I am the only one left. Thank god I am married. I would be really alone. I have been through two divorce and this is my third. My father was alcoholic growing up, I have been so broke I spent the night in a homeless shelter, but I picked myself up , and got myself through the hard times. I refuse to let life get me down. I wake up everyday and say thanks for waking up and try to make the most of it.

Palindrome's avatar

I was sexually molested when I was young. This is the first time I’ve openly said this. Feels weird saying it, but I feel really detached for some reason.

wundayatta's avatar

@NuGoonie23 Sometimes just saying a thing helps in the healing.

Palindrome's avatar

I guess I never really thought about it til’ today.
It was mainly because I hit puberty at an early age, and grew breasts before any other girl my age did…wow I just noticed I’ve never even told anyone…hah. wow.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther