Social Question

senzen's avatar

How do I meet new people, and guys to date? (gay male)

Asked by senzen (10 points ) November 4th, 2010

I’ve been living in a big city for two years now, and met lots of different people, including guys, and had short-lived romances, but now things have really ground to a halt. I definitely had more enthusiasm and social energy when I first moved here, which I think made me more attractive, also because I was new. I met a lot of people online, and through dating sites.

I’ve tried to stay offline, but since then I’ve had trouble meeting people out and about, and I do go out a lot. I’m very shy in approaching people, despite seeing many potential guys I’d love to talk to or get to know, I never have the courage to even just say hi. And then when I do meet people, I realize how particular I am and that I am better off going after the people I like instead of just seeing what comes to me…

Basically, I’m trying to figure out if I need to make a conscious effort in approaching people, or if it’s just not in my personality (introvert), and maybe I should just engage in social groups of some sort, and stick to the online thing… Online has worked well for me in the past, but I really prefer the feeling of meeting someone in person and knowing automatically if I am attracted to them. Any thoughts?

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6 Answers

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I recommend meetup.com as a way to simply get out and “meet people”. What happens after that, happens, and more power to you if it does. But you just need to get out and meet people, and finding “non romance-based” social activities that you can enjoy with others who enjoy the same thing, both gay and straight, is a good way to widen your circle of acquaintances.

I highly recommend it, and it’s free. You can also be as anonymous as you want.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I 2nd meetup.com. A lot of co workers and a few friends joined in order to try and expand our little group of specialty food hunters and most of the others just wanted a new pool of easy to pick from “dates”. No one has complained of a lack yet.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Gay or straight, you will have better luck meeting people that you have something in common with if you participate activities that you enjoy, and meet people that way.

Is there a gay rights activism group in your area? You don’t have to go gung-ho into volunteering with them, but attending their events will give you a better sense of the gay community and allow you to network with, as one of my friends says, “plays for your team.”

Kardamom's avatar

Most big cities have an entertainment paper that is geared toward the gay community, and entertainment papers in general (gay or straight) will have all sorts of listings for gatherings, clubs, meetings, events etc. Check them out and pick a few that sound interesting to you and then start going. It is true that you are more likely to meet someone that you like if you are at an event that you enjoy in the first place. Plus you willl be a more enjoyable and approachable person if you are out and about engaging in activities that you like. Good luck and get back to us : )

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I like the idea of getting into a club or sport of some kind. It will open new doors for you to meet people.

Frenchfry's avatar

Go to a gay bar. Seriously you could have a great conversation over a cocktail . See where everyone hangs out. You need put one foot forward and just do it.

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