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phocks's avatar

You're starting a new religion. What's it called and what are its main beliefs?

Asked by phocks (137 points ) January 4th, 2011

Monotheistic? Polytheistic? Afterlife? Moralities? Punishments? Weird practices? Think outside the box. After all, isn’t that what it’s all about anyway (originally at least)?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

28 Answers

Not_the_CIA's avatar

I will call it Common Sense

Don’t be a dick. Help if it is needed. There is no heaven. Be nice while you can, life is short.

Not_the_CIA's avatar

Oh, and any god that wants to be worshiped for a prize can fuck right off. I’m a good person to be a good person. I’m not looking for the prize in the cereal box. If I get rejected for not believing I will hang out with Herman Hesse.

Pandora's avatar

Mine would be simple. Treat others as you would like to be treated and everyone send me a dollar each a week. Your in. :D

Cruiser's avatar

The Sofa cult. We would sit around on sofas listening to the music of Frank Zappa and read outloud the writings of Mark Twain. I would call members YAWYI’s which is the acronym for You Are What You Is. Core belief is just that….you are what you are so STFU and live your life no complaining about it or you are banned from the cult. The only requirement is you must take a new name like Dweezil, Longhorne, Moon Unit etc.

We would also have phenomenal Pancake Breakfasts to raise money for our Parish of St. Alphonso.

stardust's avatar

I’m joining @Not_the_CIA‘s

filmfann's avatar

It will be called LindseyLohanism, and yes, we will be demanding a crucifixion.

ucme's avatar

Horticulturalism : The grass is always greener on our side. Lucky sods! :¬)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The Church of the Bird and the Hug. You get the Bird and are told to f*** off if you’re being a dick and a hug if you’re acting decent and need or want one.

Vunessuh's avatar

Polyesterarianism.
We walk around wearing polyester. Whoever doesn’t gets punched in the head.

Coloma's avatar

It shall be called ‘Gooseswami’ and one is required to bring offerings of bread to the temple of the sacred Swan Goose daily with meditation and prayer to the great golden ‘Guddha.’

Geese will be sacred and there will be severe punishment for harming one.

To bring harm to a feather will result in slices of bread being tied to your genitals and your face wrapped in leaves of Romaine while the flock renders you senseless with ‘flappulation’ as penance for your sins.

Summum's avatar

Universal Seekers and our goal would be to search out truth and a deeper level of understanding and evolve further based on the knowledge. Smile
Membership only requires an open mind.

Taciturnu's avatar

There’s a few here, I would join! Can we be a part of multiple, or do we need to denounce all other “faiths?”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Taciturnu I like your idea. Let’s roll them all into one.

Summum's avatar

The Universal Seekers doesn’t care what other religions you belong too. Knowledge comes from everywhere and anywhere.

Coloma's avatar

Notice in my avatar how Gooseswami has effectively induced a meditative trance in one of his disciples?

Bow to the long neck. ;-)

wundayatta's avatar

No deity. No dogma. Just rituals that are designed to get you out of your mind and into your body. Like Buddhism. Then conversation. Kind of like Quakerism. Sense of morality determined by consensus from the discussion. Everyone must agree. Not majority rule.

Then action such as political action, for those who agree to act that way. Not necessarily consensus, although consensus is preferred.

Open day care centers and schools and medical facilities and all the rest.

Lots of dancing and music and art and other creative activities—spiritual pursuits.

gailcalled's avatar

Milo here: Midolatry…worship of me.
t’s self-explanitory.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Midolatry sounds great. I’ll bring Milk Bones.

gailcalled's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe: Wrong species. Now mice-on-brochette is just the ticket. xox Milo

KatawaGrey's avatar

I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I wouldn’t necessarily call this a religion, more like a school of thought. I don’t really have a name for it yet but basically, I have started to think a lot about what it means to be human. Humans are animals and as such have certain urges and desires that are not good or evil but can hurt other living things. This is not a bad thing anymore than a rattlesnake eating a mouse is a bad thing. Finally, every action an individual takes is small in comparison to what the whole human race does. Not necessarily insignificant, but certainly small.

I follow other schools of thought that have strong ties to this one but they are much less popular so I won’t mention them here. :)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@KatawaGrey You’ll be pleased to know Romania just made witchcraft legal as a religion.

thorninmud's avatar

I’m imagining a religion that doesn’t mess around with cosmologies or doctrines, but just puts its followers through a series of reality-check experiences and let’s them draw their own conclusions. I think it would need these basic components:

A) A “get over yourself” component. Something like an obligatory 2 week stent of cleaning the men’s room at the Greyhound terminal. Wait, make that 2 weeks every year.
B) A “you think you’ve got problems” component. This could be a stint as a personal assistant for a double-amputee vet straight out of Walter Reed.
C) A “yes, you’re mortal” component. Volunteering at a hospice should do the trick.
D) An “it’s not about the stuff” component. Every month, give away something that you really like. Observe how your live goes on anyway.
E) A “wonder” component. Look through a good telescope into the heart of the Milky Way and see —really see—why it’s “milky”. Now reflect on the possibility that there may not be so much as a single living cell in that field of view. Now take your eye away from the telescope and look around you. Several variations along these lines might be required.
F) A “yes, actually, you can change the world” component. Go do something that makes life more pleasant for someone else. Repeat.

AmWiser's avatar

Bedside Baptist
Should be self explanatory;-)

PARAprakrti's avatar

“You’re starting a new religion.”

No. Whatever I am starting, it is old.

“What’s it called and what are its main beliefs?”

It’s called Religion (capital R—as it is the only one that exists.) Main beliefs…

“Monotheistic? Polytheistic?”

Monotheistic. Panentheistic to be a tad more precise. “Polytheism” is too vague since it tends to allude to a world view wherein “gods” aren’t clearly defined.

“Afterlife?”

After what? Anyway, yes, life before and after whatever it is you’re talking about. Just one continuous life.

“Moralities?”

It all starts with the eternal occupation of the soul: devotional service.

“Punishments?”

Suffering that naturally comes out of ignorance.

“Weird practices?”

“Weird”???

“Think outside the box. After all, isn’t that what it’s all about anyway (originally at least)?”

No. That’s not what it’s all about.

PARAprakrti's avatar

@Coloma “It shall be called ‘Gooseswami’ and one is required to bring offerings of bread to the temple of the sacred Swan Goose daily with meditation and prayer to the great golden ‘Guddha.’”

Just a bit of random info: “Swan” in Sanskrit is “Hamsa.”

Coloma's avatar

@PARAprakrti

Maybe I will name the guru gooses offspring ‘Hamsa.’ ;-)

PARAprakrti's avatar

And the title “Paramahamsa,” which literally means “supreme swan” is a title for a great transcendentalist; someone who is very apt at discerning the spiritual from the material.

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