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Bilbo123's avatar

[NSFW] How should I come out of this addiction?

Asked by Bilbo123 (165 points ) August 17th, 2011

I have turned into a masturbation addict, I think.
I know its benefits, but it’s getting over me now.
I waste too much time daily in masturbating; 5/6 hours on an average, and sometimes more than that. It happens to me, when I close my eyes, I see all the stuff, ... you know. I don’t think of any other thing than this. When I do engage in some other things, my mind gets me back to all erotic things. So, I’m unable to do things as effectively as I could have otherwise.
Another thing, when I masturbate multiple times, I feel weak. This got me to catch cold, fever, cough at times. I am much more vulnerable to diseases now than I was before.

What suggestions can you offer to me?
Should I stick to some schedule? How do I get rid of these thoughts when I’m working or doing other things?
How many times should one ideally masturbate? Had there been any study or research on this?

Well, I am grown up male in around thirties.
If I don’t masturbate for a couple of days, I feel I’ll spill over. A couple of times, it pained in testes, but felt better after masturbating.

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17 Answers

Aethelflaed's avatar

There isn’t a set number of times a person should masturbate per day. The rule of thumb is, if it’s interfering with the rest of your life, especially vital parts, then it’s a problem. So it sounds like it’s time to talk to a doctor about this.

Rheto_Ric's avatar

Get a job? How can you fit in 5/6 hours of masturbating everyday?? 5/6 times, maybe…
Find something more productive (heh heh) to do with your time. Masturbating should be an enjoyable pastime, not something fulltime. You’re in danger of desensitizing yourself, and you won’t derive any real pleasure in the future.
If porn is baiting you, you must master your bait.

Hibernate's avatar

Well you clearly need to stop watching pornographic images/movies. It takes time but those images in your head won’t disappear in a few days/weeks. Sometimes it takes months/years or even decades to just erase an image from your head. And since you clearly enjoy those images it will take a while and some work from your side.

It’s not easy getting rid of an addiction but still. Get a girl and make sure she can keep up with your speed.

While you feel week it’s normal from all the time you spend doing it. Your muscles can’t keep up with 5 hours of masturbating and still be ready for other things. You just need to spend this time doing something else but at the same intensity or else your body will say it’s something wrong.

Seelix's avatar

I don’t think there’s a limit on how much/how often a person should masturbate, but like @Aethelflaed said, if it’s interfering with your life, it might be too much. Personally, I think 5–6 hours is excessive, and I applaud you for coming to that conclusion yourself.

I’d suggest visiting your doctor, especially if you think your masturbation is compromising your immune system. I don’t know that that’s possible, but a doc would be able to tell you for sure. You could also ask for a referral to a sex therapist who could help you battle the addiction.

creative1's avatar

I usually like to twice a day once in the morning and once before bed. If you feel you can’t get a handle per say and its continues to interfer with your daily life than I would talk to your doctor about it and sas @Seelix suggested a sex therapist to help you get the addiction under control. Its one thing to enjoy it, its another to just want to keep going all the time where its controling you and your life.

Blondesjon's avatar

Start smoking. It will give you something else to do with your hands.

wundayatta's avatar

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. You’ll find people there that have the same problem and are working to learn how to cope. They will tell you where local meetings are, and if there isn’t a local one, they have online meetings, as well.

This is the kind of thing that it is very helpful to talk about. You can get support to help you make changes you want to make. You’ve already passed the first step. You recognize you have a problem.

The best of luck.

mrrich724's avatar

Maybe your addicted to sex and masturbation is just your current outlet… look into sex addicts anon like @wundayatta noted.

creative1's avatar

@wundayatta Awesome answer, that is the best place for him to get the answers he is looking for from those who are going through the same thing

Neizvestnaya's avatar

You might be an addictive personality, going from fixation to fixation and right now, it’s playing with yourself. Go to a therapist and see what they suggest. Maybe there is bio feedback that will help or discovering new fixations (harmless ones) you can add to your repertoire.

Playing with yourself so much probably isn’t physically harmful but it might make you late for work, for engagements with other people, cause you to neglect your home, hygiene, pets, other family and also desensitize you to having stimulation by another person’s touch..

Cruiser's avatar

You are responding to impulses and an addiction to the bodies chemical high you get from the orgasmic response. You should review the times when this occurs and consider other healthy choices you can make instead of masturbating. Not an easy thing to do when your mind is fighting an impulsive urge to get high. I quit cigarettes and booze and in both instances there was that impulsive urge to smoke or drink and found that taking a moment to validate that urge and the impulsive feelings even emotions that may have triggered that urge. Taking this time to validate the urge will allow it to exist and you will find it will dissipate and you can make those better healthier choices more easily and over time automatically.

prasad's avatar

@wundayatta has said, you have already passed first step of recognizing your problem.

You need to be patient a little, because it will take some time for you to come out of the addiction. I was skimming through few books at a book store, and I came across few tips that may help you.

Push the time. Procrastinate your urge as much as possible. Record your timings if possible. Start with a small achievable target in minutes, then increase it gradually. Set for yourself weekly, monthly targets. And, of course, reward yourself on achieving these targets. Rewards may be things you like, do or eat; but rewards should not be something ordinary or that you experience often. On achieving the targets, you will be more satisfied and confident.

Perhaps, you can do this in two ways. First, when this urge comes in your mind, avoid it; probably by engaging yourself in other activities that interest you. You may start with this. But, in my opinion, this will not always help. Someday or the other you may feel weak, and give in to it. So, I say you face it. It’s difficult, but I am sure you will succeed one day! Hold the urge back, control yourself, control your mind. Fantasize for the moment that the urge is a monster or demon that is trying to push you over or pulling you towards it; you, being a heman (or any other superhero you prefer), determined to fight, stand against it. After fighting assiduously, you win! The demon may rise again, from time to time, but you are ready, your confidence growing after every win. In case, you lose. Admit it. And, say you will have your turn next time.

While trying this out, pray to God, ask for his help; he is always ready to help you. With God by your side, you will assure your success. Simple way to do this is enchant name of God, say it (aloud or in your mind), and repeat it. Consciously or unconsciously, keep on doing it; God will make his way to help you (may be through subconscious mind).

But, keep some time aside to cool off, so that you will get remaining time. You may try time management techniques too.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t want to suggest this, but I do want to lay out an alternative approach that looks quite different from @prasad.‘s

I have found that fighting something can be counter-productive. That is because when I fight and fail, I blame myself. I then think that I must not really be trying or that I’m not capable, and then it gets harder to fight, and I feel less competent and more despondent and I start to wonder what the point of my existence is if I’m such a failure of a person.

Eventually, I get to the point where I realize I can’t fight it. I give up fighting it. It seems like this is some kind of magic, because when I stop fighting it, it seems to lose it’s power. If I stop fighting the urge to fall in love with someone new, the desire to find someone seems to diminish. It’s as if I give the compulsion its power by fighting it.

But by allowing myself to indulge, and not beating myself up for it, I don’t seem to need it as much. A lot of its power seems to be in my hatred of myself for falling prey to it.

Anyway, I won’t argue with any technique that works. If fighting it works, great. If not fighting it works, great. If nothing works, try something else.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@wundayatta It’s not always a good idea to go to sex anon straight out the gate… It is, after all the perfect place for people to come together in their sicknesses.

Imagine addicts hooking up at NA and AA meetings

Kinda the same thing happens at sex meetings,

I suggest private therapy, groups are for after you have learned to manage and maintain your abstinence.

wundayatta's avatar

@GabrielsLamb There is, of course, the 13th step, but I’m sure that people do hook up from such meetings more often than one would hope. Still, abstinence is appropriate for a while. Just not forever.

shimba's avatar

Listen to your body, not your mind amateur.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If you are masturbating because it relieves pain in your balls, then it maybe a byproduct of a medical problem. The pain in your balls could also be cause because you are always whacking off, again, another thing that might need investigating medically. If you keep choaking your chicken because of imagery when you have the urge, think of her straddling your chest, and with both hands holding your face guiding it to her hooha if it can be found.

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