Social Question

blueberry_kid's avatar

How do you tell your parents you have a boyfriend?

Asked by blueberry_kid (5651 points ) September 3rd, 2011

I don’t have one yet, but there is a huge chance at school that I could. One thing is, if he is my boyfriend, how do I tell my mom? I’m hanging on a thread with her about trust because of a huge past situation. I know some of you might say “Why tell her?” But I really don’t want to lose trust with my mom.

I honestly don’t care if I have one, but what is the best way to tell her?

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24 Answers

JessicaRTBH's avatar

‘mom, I have a boyfriend’ – I’m guessing it won’t be that easy though.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Why don’t you just ask your mom if you can have this boy over for dinner?

Seelix's avatar

I’m with @lucillelucillelucille. Tell your mom that you really like a boy at school, and if it turns into a relationship, ask to have him come over. Volunteering to have your parents meet your friends/boyfriend/whatever is always a good idea, especially if you’re trying to foster trust.

Nullo's avatar

Your mom probably wants you to have a boyfriend. Just tell her.

snowberry's avatar

Doesn’t your mom manage this website? Is it possible she already knows, or will know soon? LOL Problem solved.

Seelix's avatar

@snowberry – Wrong user. Auggie is mom to Laineybug, Mangeons and Fly.

snowberry's avatar

@Seelix OK. Thanks.

marinelife's avatar

I would talk to your mom first about the possibility of having a boyfriend. Then it won’t come as a shock to her when you do have one.

Also if she has any objec tions, you can hear them and plan to counter them.

Suggest that she meet him when it happens.

Blackberry's avatar

“I have a new boyfriend”

Brian1946's avatar

@Blackberry

“I have a new boyfriend”

Congrats dude! ;-)

blueberry_kid's avatar

@snowberry Laineybug is my best friend though!!! Well, on this site anyway. I have to meet her first.

creative1's avatar

if your around 16 yrs old then its kind of expected that you would eventually have a boyfriend. So start talking to her about what boys you like will get the ball rolling and if something happens to come about with one of them she will expect it and when telling her it will be very easy because the communication was already there.

CWOTUS's avatar

Yeah, good advice above.

To summarize:
1. Your mom wants you to have a boyfriend, more than likely. (Or a girlfriend, if you’re wired that way, which is also cool – with us, anyway.)

2. She doesn’t want your social life – and especially a boyfriend – to come before school and family obligations. So you will have to work out a balance there, when it happens, to keep things cool with your mom.

3. She will want to know when it becomes “serious” – however you (or she) define that. So don’t try to take great pains to hide from her that you’re becoming “interested” in a guy, but you don’t have to tell her about every guy that you talk to or make eyes at, either (unless she’s one of those overly controlling mothers, in which case, get back to us again).

4. She will not want you having sex until you’re married. But you should probably talk to her about it before then…

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I can’t guess what your past “situation” was that would cause your mom to have apprehension about you having a bf but talk to her first. Tell her there’s someone at school you’d like to have as a bf and then give her some statements up front that show you haven’t forgotten any lesson or mistake, ask her how she feels about it all.

If you were an adult then you’d do as you want, go on with only yourself to hold yourself accountable but parents have this huge mental responsibility that they must do everything in their power that you not stumble, be hurt unnecessarily, not take chances on things they’ve known most people to crash and burn over.

linguaphile's avatar

Maybe you could build up into it by talking about the guy you like, that way it doesn’t come as much of a shock. She might even be appreciative of you sharing the journey with her and become your best ally.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Just talk about him. She’ll catch on. Moms are pretty savvy like that.

flutherother's avatar

“I’d like you to meet….....” would be a nice approach if you and your boyfriend were happy with it.

rebbel's avatar

Which ever way you are going to do it…, practice his name a few times before.
I introduced my (then) girlfriend ‘Anita’ to my parents, saying: “Mum, dad, I would like you to meet ‘Carrie’!”.
Which was the name of my brother’s girlfriend…

perspicacious's avatar

How old are you? You are worried about telling your mother about something that hasn’t yet happened? I cannot imagine you are old enough to be on this site.

blueberry_kid's avatar

@perspicacious—Thanks! I feel so loved! And by the way, I’m 14!—-

Dutchess_III's avatar

@perspicacious She’s been hanging around for a while…no too bad for a 14 year old, actually! Sigh. Another one to raise and caution. BTW @blueberry_kid…have you told your parents that you frequent this site? You need to.

SpatzieLover's avatar

What is your mom’s rule on dating? Are you allowed to date prior to age 16? Will she allow for one on one dates? Or group dates?

These are all normal questions to ask and establish answers for at your age.

blueberry_kid's avatar

@Dutchess_III My mom does know. As long as I don’t get too crazy with the questions.

@SpatzieLover I talked to my mom, and she said it would be fine, as long as I told her and didn’t hide it from her. Plus, she just doesn’t want me to get too serious.
(A.K.A, MTV’ crazy 16 year olds.)

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