Social Question

zensky's avatar

NSFW - What do you think about this?

Asked by zensky (13288 points ) November 5th, 2011

Many couples enjoy anal sex- and if this is your first time considering it – read up on it first to be both safe and not sorry you did. It can be very unpleasant for the first-timer. A lot of patience and lubrication is necessary – and it aint for everyone. Guys – be smart and patient with your partner.

Obviously gay men who are sexually active might go this route. As we have learned here at Fluther world, some people who shall go nameless think homosexuality is wrong, a sin, and a curable disease basically.

My question is: if sex between a couple is recommended by God, and anal sex is just another way of having sex – then how “wrong” is anal sex with another man? I mean – it’s just an orifice.

Sex with a tush – male or female – should it matter?

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74 Answers

fizzbanger's avatar

Owie owie owww (my personal opinion).

However, people should be able to do whatever they please behind closed doors ;)

wundayatta's avatar

Of course anal sex shouldn’t be a matter of any kind of moral concern. Two consenting adults and all that. It’s no one else’s business. There is no reason to even ask this question except to bash on people with religious qualms. I won’t do that, but it should be pretty clear what I think of anyone who has a problem with this, no matter what the reason.

zensky's avatar

No bashing – just curious. How do they distinguish between sex with one tush or another? What makes the “lying down with a man” so horribly wrong? What if it was the personal view of one of the many bible writers – or a misinterpretation?

Bellatrix's avatar

What goes on between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own room (or wherever) is not my business. No, I don’t think it should matter to anyone but the people participating.

fizzbanger's avatar

@zensky I’m not religious, but I think it’s the whole “God intended sex to be for procreation and absolutely nothing else” thing.

dannyc's avatar

I’m a bit behind on knowledge of this subject you have reared.

zensky's avatar

@fizzbanger Link or it never happened. And I’ll need a first-person account of what God intended please.

fizzbanger's avatar

@zensky K! Let me just go get that for you.

gasman's avatar

I have no moral objection. Among consenting adults, “If it feels good, do it.”

Anal intercourse, however, is medically risky (rectal & anal injury, STDs, UTIs, etc). Given so many other ways to give and receive sexual pleasure, I think the risks outweigh the benefits. Count me among those who believe the anus should be marked “exit only.”

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Meh. If they ask, sure. I just never find myself getting bored with the place I am supposed to go.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Good grief, @zensky. I did not expect to find that at the top of the Social column this evening.

Joker94's avatar

Uhh, I guess if it’s your thing, go for it. I, however, would respectfully abstain from it.

jazmina88's avatar

No….No…..No….
Ouch. let people do as they choose.

mitochondrian's avatar

In biblical times it was probably considered a waste of semen for a man to ejaculate outside the female body. I think this idea might help explain how homosexuality became taboo. If two men had sex with each other they were basically wasting the opportunity to fertilize a woman. That is no longer a problem today.

Symbeline's avatar

I think that in older versions of The Bible, it was decreed that men couldn’t be gay because it was a sin. Man and woman together, that’s it. So in that regard, God would only want couples to have sex if they were heterosexual, and even then, you probably weren’t allowed to have fun. It was a duty thing, usually with women being inferior. Don’t quote me, and I add my disclaimer, I don’t approve of what I’m talking about.
I don’t know much how it all changed. Gay priests exist. So somewhere, some of these ’‘rules’’ changed. (gay priests still would have existed, although I doubt many of them would have emerged from the closet) I guess. What I’m trying to say, from what I get anyways, sex is recommended by God, but it has very strict conditions to apply to. If God’s real, I hope he looks at that and just goes, damn, man…

Personal thoughts. Denno, never tried it. Whatever people wanna do with their partners or other people, it’s all cool with me, as long as they’re all consenting. Like you say yourself, informing oneself on an activity before attempting it should always be considered. This should also stand for probably most forms of sex though.

Not saying I would never try it, just never happened haha.

But yeah, doesn’t matter, to me anyways.

That said, I can’t help but to slightly chuckle at the whole bush fucking thing. :)

mazingerz88's avatar

Nothing wrong with backdoor entrance. I think it’s actually a back-up in case you missed or got confused.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I feel like a real bum getting in on the tail end of this discussion, always bringing up the rear. I’ll stick this question in the can and duff out the details later. No no I’m not turning my backside to you @zensky. I’m actually a big fanny of the questions you assk. They are filled with hind sight and knowledge a posterior.

DeanV's avatar

I personally find it a little gross. That being said, I’m not one to knock anything until I’ve tried it, but it really just doesn’t seem like something I’d enjoy.

Mantralantis's avatar

And I’m still wondering why there’s not a “Terrible Answer” available. (It would make me laugh if I had many, as I would, yep) Despite that, I believe, that even though what goes on behind closed doors between one or more people, in relation to @zensky‘s question that is, and the fact that, yes, we all do have your own choice, it doesn’t automatically make that situation okay despite anyone feeling personally that it is okay. That’s a cop-out due to wanting pleasure, as it is said. (Relax, it’s what I’ve read and heard, if you need to know. Don’t get yourselves all pricked-up…please.) In other words, just because some go around “feeling” things are natural, to me it just doesn’t make it always…okay. Murderers “feel”, but we all know that it is a crime to humanity. But, yes, sadly they too feel like it is…okay. The bottom line here is…do what you feel is right…but don’t come crying to me because your fully-loaded knee-deep-in-the-flarking-hoopla-mud liberal-ass hurts so much you want to cry all the way home to your momma…

Okay, I’m done.

Just one more thing…what side of God, his procreated plan…and yes, His Big Ficking Big Bang…

…do you not understand? I’m not a saint, but it doesn’t mean I’m a zombie atheist either!

(Oh, by the way, being somewhat liberal can be very cool, but jeez flarking louise…ahem.. man?!)

Did I feel good about getting MY shit out at the right place? Hell, ficking yes I did!

Symbeline's avatar

@Mantralantis Would you like to buy a U? A fuck joke, not an ass joke. :D

I love the idea of a Terrible Answer. I’m sure I’d collect them.

I certainly get what you’re saying though. Good point. Just because one may think it okay, doesn’t mean that, technically anyways, it is. (health reasons I mean, not morality)

However, I don’t think you can compare murder to anal sex, and when suggesting that anal sex is not okay, there are closer related subjects that may also not be okay, but that everyone thinks it is.

Don’t quote me though, the only thing I know about any of that is what I saw on that movie, The Curse.

Mantralantis's avatar

@Symbeline – I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know about a few things you were just trying to tell me there, Sym – the joke, The Curse, comparing things, et al. But I can appreciate the fact that you “I certainly get what you’re saying though. Good point….”

Thanks…I think.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Each to their own. I don’t think gay sex is wrong so, providing they are both up for it, I don’t care what they get up to. Personally, I struggle with anal sex. My boyfriend and I have tried on many occassions but, even with lots of lube, it hurts too much! I once heard a story about a girl who shat herself during her first experience of anal sex, I think this may be on my mind when my boyfriend and I try so I can’t quite relax enough!!!

fizzbanger's avatar

More NSFW!

@Leanne1986 I saw on a porn documentary or something that actors usually have to abstain from eating for 24 hours and use an enema to keep things clean…

Also, I went to this party one time where a girl pooped on a couch.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@fizzbanger What kind of party were you at?!?!?

fizzbanger's avatar

@Leanne1986 Bunch of Navy sailors… worse than college kids.

downtide's avatar

I’m not religious, and as far as I’m concerned, sex is sex and people can do whatever they want, as long as it’s consentual. From my own personal experience, I find (receiving) anal uncomfortable but it’s also given me the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@fizzbanger That explains it then. My dad was in the Navy, I think I’ll avoid asking him about his experiences in this department!!!

ucme's avatar

I’ve never seen the appeal & neither has the wife, it’s not something we’ve ever considered introducing into our sex life & we’re both happy with maintaining the status quo in that regard.
As for the sex life of homosexual couples, that shall remain none of my business.
Consensual sex regardless of one’s sexuality, is completely fine with me, can’t think of a single reason why anyone’s view would differ.

JLeslie's avatar

I have said on many a Q that almost every heterosexual man I know wants, likes, or has tried anal sex. Every time someone says something about “gay sex being wrong” referring to anal sex, I just think it is terribly hypocritical and bullshit.

However, there can be some big negatives to anal sex. I have a few girlfriends who are pretty screwed up back there who attribute it to some rough anal sex. I do have girlfriends who continue to enjoy and participate in anal sex. Probably some of it has to do with how big your SO is, in this case smaller is probably better, and that he allows the woman to have control. Also, men have larger rectums generally, so gay anal sex is less likely to harm a man.

Porn has influenced anal sex in my opinion. A lot of men watch anal sex in porn, and I think that is a bad thing. A lot of those women are not good after years of that. I saw an interview with some female porn stars and they had a lot of trouble from allowing themselves to be penetrated anally when it was painful.

Anal sex can produce very intense orgasms, in men it hits, or put pressure on the prostate I guess, in addition to the pleasure it can produce otherwise. Women too can have increased pleasure. Although in both cases I would assume their penis or vagina/clit is being stimulated at the same time.

I think if people want to try it they should just use fingers or small vibrators anally in addition to sex, and not risk penile penetration unless they feel very comfortable, and conpletely trust their partner to stop.

bkcunningham's avatar

Here’s my take on your question, @zensky. Leaving God, religion, sexual preference and all that out of the equation; it comes down to what the anus is made to do. It isn’t just another orifice. It is an opening at the end of the digestive tract where fecal matter, including bacteria, is eliminated from the body. It isn’t made for sexual intercourse.

But if that is what floats your boat. Hey. Go for it. It doesn’t matter to me what you want to do in the privacy of your own home or in a private club or a private beach or whereever. It doesn’t matter to me if you want to screw turnips. If you aren’t manipulating another adult, having sex with a child or another living thing that is too young or able to make those sorts of decisions on their own, I really don’t give a flying monkey what you do.

JLeslie's avatar

@bkcunningham I have heard religious people say that about the anus, what it is created for, I am not saying you are arguing that for religious reasons, don’t get me wrong, but then the same religious people sure as hell want their wives to give them blow jobs.

AstroChuck's avatar

When I asked my wife to try anal sex she said, “Sure. You first.”

bkcunningham's avatar

@JLeslie, what does religion have to do with the science of the anus?

Facade's avatar

To each their own.
Being the sexually adventurous person I am, I had anal sex while I was still a “virgin” (depending on your definition of the word). It was great!

mazingerz88's avatar

I think the act of anal sex between men is really just an insignificant detail of the actual point of discussion on this board. Why would any religion even bother to disapprove of men lying down with another men?

My question is: if sex between a couple is recommended by God, and anal sex is just another way of having sex – then how “wrong” is anal sex with another man? I mean – it’s just an orifice.

If you could get a consensus on that question between atheist and religious people, then where men stick it to other men would hardly matter. But good luck on getting that consensus.

As for anal sex between a man and a woman. So some religions ban that too? I would understand it perfectly if men wrote it down as an abomination. Those writers did not get any and enjoyed it or got some and hated it or saw it and for some reason equated it to a lowly animal act.

But if there is a real God out there who actually disapproves of his created human beings to use their anuses as a sexual orifice, then he is an idiot. He should have designed human beings with anuses equipped with blades or spikes that activates whenever a dick attempts to desecrate it.

JLeslie's avatar

@bkcunningham I just mean religious people who talk about sadomy as being against the bible also try to offer up the science. Like hating gay people and then trying to say it isn’t natural, that gay sex cannot produce children so obviously not natural, or people have not been proven to be genetically gay. Some religious people try to argue science and nature to support their beliefs.

bkcunningham's avatar

You responded to my answer. I made it clear I was leaving religion out of my response. I’m talking about fecal matter and bacteria. You know, sh$t.

Facade's avatar

@bkcunningham A nice shower after, and you’re good as new ;)

bkcunningham's avatar

If that is your thing, @Facade. Good for you.

zensky's avatar

How does one screw a turnip? I tried – couldn’t find an orifice.

bkcunningham's avatar

Beat it first, @zensky.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I agree it’s just another sex act, the sex of the people involved of being of no great importance.

mitochondrian's avatar

The anus is tighter than the vagina so why don’t more men prefer it? I dated a guy once who liked anal sex with his girlfriends if they’d let him. I asked him why he liked it and his response was, “it’s another hole and it is tighter!”

thesparrow's avatar

I think people who like it should do it. I’ve gotten jabbed there before ‘by accident’ and it was very painful; I almost had to stop having sex at that point. I don’t believe in causing myself that great amount of pain so that the man can enjoy my arsehole. I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just a biatch like that.

mitochondrian's avatar

@thesparrow Lols! Nah, I’m sure your not a “biatch like that”. It is painful the very first time for an ass virgin and the male member must go slow, slow, slow for it is surprisingly painful. Later on and with a bit of persistence the experience is quite erotic and sensual. However, it is hard on the flesh of one’s anus so I do not recommend it if one is not determined and jabbing is out of the question! :D

thesparrow's avatar

I’m not that determined. I feel quite good using my front parts for sex.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well it doesn’t matter whose ass it is, it’s wrong because no baby comes of it, according to some religions. Sex wasn’t meant for pleasure, pleasure was meant to make you have babies, so it is said. I do have an issue with men in hetero relationships expecting the woman’s asshole to be somehow more accessible than their own.

thesparrow's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yes, I supposed I scored there. Mine doesn’t seem to make suggestions about it. I’d probably only do it if he bought the 500$ shoes I want him to buy AND wear them on our dates.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir has the crux of all sex issues right there in that sexual arousal isn’t in us for pleasure, it’s a stimulus to get us to breed and anything aside from wanting to breed is somehow selfish and unnatural by a lot of religion.

I also get a kick out of some men’s attitudes of expecting women to have magical assholes accessible for f**king but oh no, not their own.

thesparrow's avatar

The only thing accessible is my vagina, and that’s only if you can treat it right

zensky's avatar

Yay – 50 posts Re buttholes. I feel like a surfer.

Symbeline's avatar

@zensky Fluther should make an award based on what you just said.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline I think my post is in the top five most worded responses here. It shows I could really get into butt discussions, yes. But I’m clicking the “stop following” button after this response for I refuse to commit to talking about anal probings with Capt. Jean-Luc Picard unless it’s a giant alien asshole bigger than the Enterprise.

zensky's avatar

That would be something to see. On screen.

FutureMemory's avatar

@mitochondrian The anus is tighter than the vagina so why don’t more men prefer it?

In my limited experience, I’ve found the average vagina to be pretty damn tight…so having to worry about going super slow at first, plus the fact that, hey, that’s where shit comes out of the body…seems good enough reason to me why the average man prefers pussy – even though it’s not quite as tight as ass.

thesparrow's avatar

A vagina is pretty tight, before it gets really turned on. But even then it’s still good.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I know so many men are absolutely fascinated by anal, if they’ve done it or not. For me as a woman- I’m not aroused by the idea of it or the attempt of it, can’t orgasm from it, and it turns me off to think of waiting through this ordeal in order for my partner to get his ya-ya’s knowing I’m all “dead frog” and then sterilize himself so we can attempt to get back in a mutual aroused state to have sex that actually does something for me too.

There’s nothing about poo I think is fun.

Meego's avatar

I agree with @Neizvestnaya
I have an exit only for travel out purposes. I mean the idea that bacteria live there is enough for me to say no. And woman are even supposed to wipe front to back that tells me something.

I’m not sure what God thinks about this thats really not my issue. And I personally don’t care what you do.

I mean can it be any different from woman who use inanimate objects tho?

Homosexuality goes all the way back to roman times, it’s not like our generation is the first to explore it.

My BFF is gay I dont base my relationship with him on sexuality his sexuality morale is different from mine that’s why we are not the same person and we have different personalities.

thesparrow's avatar

I wipe back to front.

thesparrow's avatar

Has anyone ever pood during sex? It happened to me once and it was so embarassing but they somehow never found out. Now I’m terrified of it happening again.

FutureMemory's avatar

I’ve never pood during sex. I have probably farted, but I can’t remember a specific incident. Luckily I have never been farted on when my face was between the legs of a woman…how dreadful :P

thesparrow's avatar

I farted in his face.

LMAO.

We laughed about it.

zensky's avatar

It would be even worse if your face were exactly on the OP orifice.

thesparrow's avatar

You mean if HIS face was on the OP orifice..

zensky's avatar

Anyone’s face.

wundayatta's avatar

Your face!

thesparrow's avatar

this is real love. A man who stays with you even though you may have possibly farted in his face. Also, queafing is sometimes an issue .. where compressed air comes out of your vag, making a farting noise. Also, I’ve made puddles on his floor, which he wiped off with his own socks. The puddles are.. well.. it’s not pee, for sure..

Meego's avatar

@thesparrow come on, this is not the fetish farm run by porn star Lex Cumalot, get over it.

For that reason I’m out, and I’m pushing “stop following”

zensky's avatar

Me too, but I’m just clicking on it.

EmptyNest's avatar

@thesparrow, LMAO! Thanks for that! This is an interesting topic because when I was in my twenties I was terrified of it. Hated it. As I got older and more relaxed (and had a man with a smaller penis) I didn’t mind. The problems are these: Men have to wash immediately afterward to avoid an infection. Also, semen introduced into the anus attacks the immune system and makes you sick. Semen introduced into the stomach also can make you sick. A man with a very large penis can cause pretty severe damage to the rectum, also. A friend of mine got an infection that was so bad, she got a fever and she drenched her bed in sweat. They no longer have anal sex. As far as the male/male version, pretty much the same things apply.

zensky's avatar

@EmptyNest Wait, what? So gay men who experience anal sex get sick all the time? Women and men who swallow ejaculation (introducing it into their stomache) get sick all the time? Come on (pun intended).

EmptyNest's avatar

@zensky I didn’t say they get sick all the time. I said it can make you sick. I don’t let it stop me though. :-p

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