Social Question

zensky's avatar

What if Jesus was Gay?

Asked by zensky (13262 points ) October 29th, 2011

Christianity evolved after the Jewish lad died. He was young and single at the time, lived at home and was quite effeminate – turned the other cheek and all.

Maybe he was Gay? It doesn’t say anywhere that he wasn’t.

How would that change things?

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63 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

People probably wouldn’t have to fight for the right to marry.

Blackberry's avatar

Clicking to switch pages and suddenly seeing “What if Jesus was Gay?” right there in my face made me laugh.

I don’t think it would have made a difference. People are already picking and choosing what they want to use. These people would most likely say something like “Jesus was gay, but he also knew that he himself was a sinner. His father probably made him that way, but you’re supposed to hate the sin and not the sinner.” Or something like that.

iphigeneia's avatar

I highly doubt it would make a difference. Not only for the reasons @Blackberry gave, but also because homosexuality wasn’t really a concept that existed at that time. If I had to guess at Jesus’ sexual orientation using modern terms, I’d propose that he was asexual. Although I must admit that during boring church services, I have written some extremely blasphemous Jesus/Thomas slash fiction in my head.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Seeing He had a hand in creating everything, if He was Gay, there would be no women, and babies would be found in a cabbage patch or hatched from eggs.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@iphigeneia I really want to find some medieval Latin poetry where some monk is writing erotic feature Jesus and the monk.

Luiveton's avatar

Then maybe there’d be less homophobes, basically, being gay wouldn’t be wrong.
However; bear in mind that no matter how much people have come to terms with diverse sexual orientations nowadays, it was exceedingly intolerable back in the days. So he would have potentially been killed or attacked in some form. And there is a chance that people would have followed suit thereafter.

zensky's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Wait, what?

Are you saying he is the father of mankind? Are you saying there was nothing before him and he fathered the first human beings?

Is this actually written anywhere?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@zensky Yes it is written, but since Einstein didn’t write it, you won’t believe it so trying to explain it would be moot.

iphigeneia's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Are you, perhaps, confusing God the Father with God the Son? (edit: sorry, confusing’s not the word I want. Are you suggesting that if Jesus was gay, then his Father must be as well? That’s actually an amusing/interesting thought)

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@zensky I will bite, I don’t want anyone say I didn’t at least try, futile at is it. Like I said, Einstein didn’t write it and you won’t find it published in Science Weekly, so you surely won’t believe it. Why you want to look at something you don’t believe, I can guess you want to cherry pick passages from it for some agenda to say what you believe, that it is all false. We all know that is what you will do, or some of the other resident atheist, rather predictable, but look here, here,
here, and here. You can always get a hardcopy of the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth at any Christian book store, or maybe on loan from your library.

Lightlyseared's avatar

Seeing as He created Eve from one of Adams ribs Eve had the same sex chromosomes as Adam so Adam and Eve were gay brothers. So the the human race is the result of two gay brothers having sex.

And people think evolution doesn’t make sense

Hibernate's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central lol. You gave the best possible responses :D kudos.

amujinx's avatar

If Jesus was gay, that could change the entire meaning of the story of when he was “baptised” by John the Baptist.

digitalimpression's avatar

Anyone who has ever read the bible all the way through and understood even 30% of it would be capable of the educated guess that Jesus was not gay. Had He been gay, many of the messages He delivered would have been hypocrisy.

The emphasis placed on the beauty of the relationship between a man and his wife is prevalent.

cockswain's avatar

If he was, there is nearly zero chance we’ll ever know. And likely the Vatican or some other large and powerful Christian organization would get the info first and keep it suppressed. But let’s say it is suppressed but leaks out one day. I’d say it would be ridiculed and not believed by those that don’t want it to be true, and the Christians that are already accepting of homosexual behavior would feel even more validated in that belief.

Fox News would say it isn’t true, and so would Focus on the Family and the New Life Church.

gailcalled's avatar

@Hypocrisy Central: Seeing He had a hand in creating everything, if He was Gay, there would be no women, and babies would be found in a cabbage patch or hatched from eggs.

How do you explain the propagation of all the species, including man, before the birth and death of Jesus? And biologically, half of a baby is an egg, pre-sperm. A chicken is hatched from a fertilized egg, as is a baby.

poisonedantidote's avatar

It would change the meaning of “nailed to a cross” for starters. Maybe you are on to something, he did love to rub down guys with oil.

“Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee?” – John 21:20… sounds pretty gay to me.

Luiveton's avatar

Simply put; I highly doubt God would have chosen a gay Jesus to spread the message that in Christianity Homosexuality is wrong. The whole religion would consist of hypocrisy. I’m not saying I’m 100% sure of what the bible says, but from what I heard, Homosexuality in the Bible is considered wrong?

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Why does Non Sequitur come to mind? By your logic, since the price of eggs in Spain went up, Obama will lose the 2012 election.

From what I remember of the Bible, Jesus didn’t walk the Earth until well after God put lots of men and women here. There is also the possibility that God made Jesus gay in order to avoid having The Grandson of God running around. Not saying it happened that way, merely that it’s possible. I don’t know, I wasn’t there.

But I will give you credit for trying, and I must admit that your counter is better than one that I have heard; a woman claimed Jesus was not gay because he had no penis and therefore no sexual urges in either direction.

everephebe's avatar

This question reminds me that Kurt Cobain used to go around spray painting, “God is gay,” everywhere.

ucme's avatar

Then it’s a damn shame he isn’t alive today. He’d have looked fabulous in a little off the shoulder number & for daddy’s sake darling, lose those simply awful sandals!!!
Yes, I believe the attention seeking “messiah” would have camped it up to the max in the 21st century. Alas, we shall never see such splendour…...still, never mind eh!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t think it would impact his teachings that are revered so much. Not being a Christian though, I’m not sure how most Christians think of Jesus in the first place, as a man/human teacher or a divinity.

cockswain's avatar

@Luiveton But what if one takes the stance that Jesus wasn’t actually some mystical guy, but just a very charismatic human. Then he has just as good a chance of being gay as anyone. Provided you believe he was a real person and not simply a myth in the first place.

mazingerz88's avatar

This reminds me of a Discovery Channel or was it National Geographic (?) program I saw discussing the Gospel of Judas and/or some other Gospel that was recently discovered. Naysayers said they were purposefully written by ancient people who were against Jesus as being Son of God while others said if it was true then we still have to know the real him.

In the Gospel, it told stories of how Jesus loved and favored one of his apostles that he would lay beside him and kiss him while naked. It also told of how Judas conspired with Jesus to report his whereabouts so he could get arrested. A betrayal conspiracy of sorts. One thing is sure, these ancient writings are all so confusing. Lol.

spykenij's avatar

We are all supposedly made in his own image. I think if Jesus were only gay, the mullet would have died along with the 80’s and no one would be fighting about what other people do in their bedrooms. God is too many things to even begin to define.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Looking at it from a strictly biblical standpoint, it wouldn’t be possible for Jesus to be gay. God had already spoken out against same sex relations in the Old Testament, and since Jesus is God, any questions of Jesus being gay are just impossible.

Seek's avatar

@Aethelflaed This is a God/Monk love poem, that relates them to a Bride and Bridegroom. It gets pretty… marital in places.

Hibernate's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate you gave a really good answer too :) kudos to you too.

Hibernate's avatar

You are welcome.

jerv's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Great use of logic there, but the question is, “What if..?”, and quite often, such questions are based on an impossible situation.

flutherother's avatar

It doesn’t matter how gay Jesus may have been, this wasn’t one of his teachings. His views on violence, wealth, compassion, sin and God can be understood and followed by anyone who wants to. He was a man but this doesn’t mean his teachings are not for women.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv By your logic, since the price of eggs in Spain went up, Obama will lose the 2012 election. No, unless Obama controlled the prices of chickens, making less chickens to produce the eggs, it would have no effect on his re-election.

Jesus didn’t walk the Earth until well after God put lots of men and women here. He didn’t need to walk the Earth as a man before he did. He had a major part in creating the world, so it wasn’t like Jesus showed up as Johnny come lately, at some way later date.

jerv's avatar

And now I know why the facepalm was invented…

@Hypocrisy_Central I’m just going to look at you funny until I can bullshit myself into believing that you actually know why you are getting a funny look, then I am going to bed.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv I know why I am getting that funny look. I also realize you have no idea why you give that funny look, but that is part of the plan. However, I am still on board to give you props when you gain them, and on other threads, it is often No nightmares.

spykenij's avatar

Pretty soon it’s gonna be just you two and then it will smell like dirty man on man sex in here. And the bigger person is…?

Hibernate's avatar

At least we can sell the video to chicken gone wild then.

Ron_C's avatar

Theoretically he was celibate so his sexuality is moot except for the fundamentalists. Their heads would explode if it could be proved that Jesus had gay contact.

zensky's avatar

One can be both Gay and celibate.

Ron_C's avatar

@zensky if you don’t have sex, what difference does it make which sex you prefer?
I would like to drive a Porsche but have a Ford, that doesn’t make me a Porsche driver.

zensky's avatar

Gay is not a choice. One does not prefer. And being attracted to men, or women, and yet celibate is a possibility, nein? Celibacy is the choice here. Not the being Gay.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Why is it gay people will make the choice to play it straight, but one never see a straight person choose to play it gay?

zensky's avatar

Wait, what?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@@AdamF As with Tyler Clementi he could have easily been harassed because he had a birth defect, was too fat, mentally challenged (there are worse words used for it), or had dwarfism. Many of those who suffer behind that do not commit suicide, or the press, surely do not make a point of reporting it. One could draw many conclusions from that. If we are saying that a gay person getting harassed, and or bullied is worse than someone who suffers dwarfism, albinism, etc and thus lead to him killing himself, I would have to disagree.

He was not in any nation where his activity would have deprived him of his life officially by government means, or severely curtailed his freedom.

If that is the way he was born he should look at it the same way as if he was born with dwarfism, there will be those who will make sport of him for that. On top of that, they struggle in a physical world not built for them, but those with dwarfism are not shown to bump themselves off in droves.

AdamF's avatar

And….???

The links I provided are to help answer the question you raised…ie they provide three reasons related to ignorance, dogma, and law that help explain why homosexuals are likely to be pretend to be straight…and by association, why straight people have few incentives to pretend to be gay.

I haven’t said anything about the justification for suicide, or dwarfs for that matter…

amujinx's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Comparing dwarfism or albinism to being gay doesn’t really work. People with dwarfism or albinism never get what they are marginalized by it being a “choice”. When was the last time you heard of someone with dwarfism being told that they would stop being treated the way they are being treated if they just “chose” to be taller?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@amujinx Comparing dwarfism or albinism to being gay doesn’t really work. You are right, those with dwarfism, and albinism have it tougher. They can’t ”blend” from a distance. There are physical limitations they have to deal with and they have no choice to play it tall, or play it pigmented, etc. A gay person would not be known, or seen as gay unless they were doing something many people associate as gay. Gay people have no problem using restaurants, libraries, driving vehicles, shopping at the super market, etc. They do not have to ask the clerk to help them get a can off the shelf that is just over 5ft from the floor. In the case of Mr. Clementi, the media tried to play it up that he suffered so much because he was gay that he had to kill himself over it. I would say, if he were bullied because he was a dwarf, or too fat he would have bumped himself off over that just as easy. It was because he could not withstand the pressure, any pressure, not just because he was gay.

What you are, if genetically so, you are. It would take a whole lot to go against it, and if you do, it is your choice to train your body to do what it would not do naturally. Those competition divers, you can’t fake that. The only reason they can hold their breath for 4 and 6 minutes and not end up dead or a vegetable is they trained their bodies to do it.

For Christ to be gay he would have to train himself to be against what he was? He would have been a double hypocrite, if he was preaching against homosexuality and was one, he would have been a hypocrite, and who would listen? His message would have been lost. To call out the Pharisees, and the Sadducees as hypocrites while being a hypocrite, would be like a double hypocrisy.

There is no perceived political clout for having dwarfism, and certainly little physical advantage, but they don’t have the choice to play it taller.

zensky's avatar

You had me at What you are, if genetically so, you are,

If?

What does that even mean? Oh, I forgot – you believe homosexuality is a disease and Michelle Bachman’s husband can cure it.

If one person, just one, kills himself because he is bullied for being anything – Gay or anything else – it is unfathomably sad. Everything else is just chatter.

amujinx's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Okay, since you apparently completely missed my point, I’ll explain again. People with dwarfism can’t chose to be taller, just as those who are gay can’t chose to be straight. People who are gay have the advantage of being able to pretend to be what they are not. However, because they can pretend to be straight, many people think that they chose to be gay. This social stigma against gay people is what causes bigoted idiots to bully and assault homosexuals, because in their ignorant little minds they believe that believe being gay is a choice and they are demonstrating that to them, it is not an allowable choice.

My point was about social acceptance. I only used the fact that those with with dwarfism can’t chose to be taller as a point about how ridiculous it is to expect someone who is gay to be straight. Good job pointing out the physical limitations of those with dwarfism as a distraction from my point though.

Your point about bullying of those who have dwarfism, albinism, et cetera, doesn’t stand up to the abuse homosexuals receive either. Yes, those who have physical abnormalities get ridiculed more than others, but I’ve never seen them assaulted like gay people sometimes do. I’m sure he decided to get assaulted for the political clout of other gays though.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@amujinx Okay, since you apparently completely missed my point, I’ll explain again. I got it perfectly the 1st time. You are attempting to say that any bullying against a gay person rises to a higher plateau than that of anyone else. As with Burke Burnett, the man in your clip, was not bullied, but assaulted at a party. He was not being taunted daily by these men, and there is no mention they even knew each other. People want to apply linkage to gay bullying and assault. The assault may come by way of bullying, but the two acts are not Siamese Twins.

Was James Byrd Jr. bullied? No, was assaulted, and murdered. His attackers where not friends of his or people he crossed path with on a regular basis. We could link that to bullying but that would be a big, big stretch.

Good job pointing out the physical limitations of those with dwarfism as a distraction from my point though. It was a good job, if anything, on keeping the focus where the focus belong. People get bullied for all sorts of reasons, too fat, not smart enough, handicapped, wrong religion, etc. I suspect the public never hears of most of those because they can’t get that knee jerk reaction and get people tuning in. That is why you will hear about the pregnant mother of 3 killed at a Starbucks before you hear about the 22yr old prostitute selling her body to support her $150 a day meth habit who got murdered behind the vacant Trader Joe’s. If she does get a mention, it would be three minutes, at best, slipped in between weather, and sports.

Your point about bullying of those who have dwarfism, albinism, et cetera, doesn’t stand up to the abuse homosexuals receive either. Yes, those who have physical abnormalities get ridiculed more than others, but I’ve never seen them assaulted like gay people sometimes do. I’m sure he decided to get assaulted for the political clout of other gays though. I never seen then dragged aback of a truck or strung up by the neck either. I am sure Mr. Byrd didn’t do it for political clout either. As I say assault and bullying are not in the same boat.

AdamF's avatar

If I was getting bullied/assaulted because I was handicapped, I could go to my friends, teachers, parents, syblings, the police, etc.. and basically have a high probability of getting significant support from the vast majority of individuals in any country you care to name. Everybody would already be aware of my condition and the unavoidable nature of it. In most cultures, charity to the handicapped is considered a virtue, and those who would help me would be seen as virtuous.

To put it mildly, that’s not the case for homosexuals seeking help in the vast majority of the world.

That’s depressingly unacceptable. Is it the biggest problem in the world. No. Do other people get bullied? Yes. But without the support base that many other young people who get bullied can reliably access, a significant number of homosexuals are going to feel like there is no way out…and when they look at the bigotry that faces homosexuals as adults, it would be very easy tfor them to believe that it’s simply not going to get better.

So what’s my point. Basically it’s this…homosexuals have every right to live in a world, as do all of us, where they are never bullied. Some people, homosexuals included, are making an effort in some parts of the world to point out how unacceptable the current situation is for these kids.

What’s not to support?

Hibernate's avatar

@AdamF now it depends. You might end up in a town where nobody really cares about you if you have a handicap. So assuming one gets harassed then tries to get help he might end up with even more trauma from those who should help him. And it’s not like I’ve been the only one who saw this. If you don’t believe me you should visit a few homeless shelters and see the preferential treatment from there.

AdamF's avatar

Yes of course it depends and I don’t have to visit a homeless shelter to know it. My cousin was born missing half of one arm and her parents were literally ashamed of her defect throughout her childhood. She now has a serious drug problem and is chronically unemployed. I know it can be horrible.

But that personal experience does not prevent me from acknowledging that being handicapped is not illegal in many countries, that there are not well financed institutions propagating the nonsense that being paralysed is a choice, or that requiring a wheelchair is a sin.

It’s not a zero sum game. We can in fact challenge more than one injustice at a time.

everephebe's avatar

That sounds really gay.^

zensky's avatar

A little bit David and Absalom if you ask me.

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