Social Question

erichw1504's avatar

What is your opinion on what age your daughter can get her ears pierced?

Asked by erichw1504 (26336 points ) December 22nd, 2011

You can answer this whether or not you have a daughter.

Do you think it’s OK to get your daughter’s ears pierced when she is not even a year old? What age would you be fine with it? Would you want to wait until she can make the decision herself or do it before she will even remember going through it?

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58 Answers

Judi's avatar

I got my daughters ears pierced when she was a baby. If you don’t do it young then it’s best to wait until they are in their teens and can take care of them themselves. My second daughter got them when she was in grade school and messed with them to much and they got infected.
I am aware that some people think this is horrific, but my daughter is glad that I did it and she got her daughters ears pieced too.

marinelife's avatar

I would allow my daughter to get her ears pierced at the age of 14 or more.

OpryLeigh's avatar

My ears were pierced when I was about 4 years old after, apparently, begging my mum to let me have them done. I’m not a mum myself so I can’t say what age I would be comfortable allowing my daughter to have her ears pierced but I certainly don’t look down on those that get their daughters ears pierced as a baby. It’s hardl child abuse in my opinion.

jonsblond's avatar

I like the idea of waiting until they are old enough to ask for them and take care of them with a little help from mom or dad. My daughter will be turning 8 in January and she’s been asking to get her ears pierced for the past year. I guess she’s the only girl in her class who doesn’t have pierced ears. We plan on taking her to get it done for her birthday. Her best friend just had her ears pierced over the summer without any problems.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I wouldn’t get my infant or toddler’s ears pierced… because it seems like something she should choose for herself.
Which, ultimately, is when I think she should be allowed to do it. When she asks. (The same goes for sons.)
I know lots of people who get their baby’s ears pierced. I don’t have a problem with it, I just think it is pointless.

jca's avatar

I always felt bad for babies with pierced ears because babies spend a lot of time lying down, on the sides of their heads, and the thought of the little pointy earrings digging into their heads seems kind of sad.

I have a daughter and I would probably get hers done when she’s around 10 (it seems like from what @jonsblond said, she might be begging for it at that point, and might be the only one in her class without them). Hopefully, she should be old enough to take care of them by herself at that point.

CWOTUS's avatar

When her mom says it’s okay. There were some things I didn’t mess with.

Scooby's avatar

Well, I was eleven years old when I got my first stud piercing, so I guess eleven…… I don’t have a daughter but my nieces all had their ears pierced at around ten-ish years of age :-/

Cupcake's avatar

I think earrings on babies are icky. I wouldn’t do it, personally. In addition, my best friend in middle school had her ears pierced as a baby and they were terribly lopsided as a teenager. I don’t know how common that is, though.

I agree with waiting for them to ask/be able to take care of them.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I don’t like piercings babies’ ears, because I think it’s a cruel thing to do. They don’t know what earrings are, they don’t understand that they’re pretty. All they know is that Mommy let these horrible people stab holes in their ears and made them hurt.

I talked to my daughters about having pierced ears and let them decide on their own. My oldest daughter wanted hers pierced when she was 5 and didn’t cry a bit, but then she let them grow back. She re-pierced them when she was 7 and said it didn’t hurt.

My youngest wanted her ears pierced last year, when she was only 4, because she wanted to wear big girl earrings like her sister. I tried my best to explain what would happen and what it would feel like but she still went through with it. She cried a little bit until she looked in the mirror and say them sparkle then she clapped and wanted to call Daddy. She currently wears shiny silver hoops and still loves them.

Pandora's avatar

I did my daughters ears at 2 years old. Should’ve waited till she was closer to 5 or 6 years old. It looked centered at two but her earlobes where tiny. As she grew we could tell it was slightly off.
I got mine done at 10.
Definetly wait till her earlobes are slightly larger.

Rarebear's avatar

As soon as she’s old enough to make her own decision about it.

laineybug's avatar

I’ve had mine pierced since I was eight I think. I would wait until they could choose.

AshlynM's avatar

13 or older.

downtide's avatar

Once they’re at the age where they have stopped any rough-and-tumble play. Then there is much less risk of the earrings getting ripped out.

wilma's avatar

When they are old enough to ask and understand how to care for them.

JLeslie's avatar

My mom let me do it at age 8, I had no problem taking care of them. I think waiting until the teen years is very late, and most girls would be very unhappy with it. I would wait for my daughter to ask, I would not just say, “ok, your eight years old, time to get your ears pierced,” but I would let her get them at 8 maybe even younger. My girlfriend let her daughter do it at age 6 and she was able to handle it also.

As far as piercing babies, well, my husband is from a culture where the girl babies are pierced as infants. I guess if he wanted to do it, I would go along with it. I am not against it, but it is not something I think I would do without his cultural influence.

JLeslie's avatar

@downtide We just were not allowed to wear large hoops or dangling earings when playing.

JilltheTooth's avatar

KatawaGrey got it done when she was old enough and responsible enough to care for her own pierced ears. It had more to do with maturity and responsibility than chronological age. I don’t remember exactly when, now. 9 years old, I think?

Dutchess_III's avatar

When my daughter was five she REALLY wanted her ears pierced. I originally wanted her to wait until she was at least 13. But then I hit on a plan…if she quit sucking her thumb for 30 days she could get her ears pierced. 30 days later she got her ears pierced and she’d broken the thumb sucking habit!

Dutchess_III's avatar

To address the baby question…I wouldn’t do it. Why would anyone want to do that? I’d be concerned that she could get pain and discomfort but not have the words to tell me about it.

@JilltheTooth I can’t believe you named your kid KatawaGrey! What kind of mother are you!!??

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Dutchess_III : I have 4 tattoos and a bastard child…what kind of a mother do you think I am??? :-D

keobooks's avatar

I know someone who gave birth to identical twins and ear piercing was the only way she felt 100% comfortable being able to tell them apart. I can kind of understand that. She didn’t take of their little ID tags from the hospital until someone was willing to pierce their ears even though they were tiny.

I could see myself doing that. But otherwise, I don’t think I could pierce a baby’s ear. I am just too fusty and old fashioned.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL @JilltheTooth! 4 tattoos are OK. 5 you would have to lose custody of the kid even if she is 23! (or 24…?)

JLeslie's avatar

@keobooks That is very clever. My girlfriend had a lot of trouble telling her twins apart at first.

Eureka's avatar

I started begging to get my ears pierced at 11. I was finally allowed to at 14, but only after I got a really good report card. I have to say that I dislike the babies getting their ears pierced. First of all, it is inflicting needless pain. Second, it is not the babies desire, it is the mom’s. And third, their earlobes grow and the holes are in a funny place when they actually are old enough to appreciate the piercing.

To be honest, I think it is child abuse. If the parents want to pierce something, let them pierce themselves.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Let’s reserve the term “abuse” for when it’s warranted and not trivialize it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Never when babies, that’s for sure. One of the most ridiculous things people do. As far as teen daughter, 13 if she wants to.

Ayesha's avatar

My parents got mine pierced when I was a baby. I thought it was a good idea. Although I do agree with @ANef_is_Enuf, I’d let my daughter decide for herself.

JLeslie's avatar

Does anyone here know a woman under 60 who does not have pierced ears?

JilltheTooth's avatar

@JLeslie : My sister, for one.

JLeslie's avatar

@JilltheTooth Does she wear earings?

JilltheTooth's avatar

We rarely speak and I only see her in casual settings, she might when she’s dressed up.

wilma's avatar

I know quite a few women under sixty who don’t have pierced ears and who don’t wear earrings.
It’s probably a difference in where we live.

JLeslie's avatar

My grandmother did not pierce her ears until her 60’s. She wore earings when she went out dinner or to an event. She actually had incredible style, and amazng taste in jewelry. She was limited in the earings should could buy because not everything comes in clip. Less and less came in clips as she grew older, I assume now even less. The clips could be lost more easily, and were uncomfortable. Finally she pierced her ears, I think she should have years before, she thought so too.

Of course, people who never care to wear earings, or just don’t want to pierce their ears I support their choice, but at the same time, I don’t think parents who have their girls pierced are abusive or that it is such a big deal about denying their daughter the choice.

I do agree though that every so often when pierced as babies the hole is in an odd place as an adult. That to me is a big negative.

Dutchess_III's avatar

(My mom had the COOLEST clip on earrings in her jewelery box! They hurt like hell after about 20 minutes, though.)

downtide's avatar

My daughter is 23 and she doesn’t have her ears pierced. I’ve even offered to pay for it if she wanted and she’s never bothered. She doesn’t wear clip-ons either.

jca's avatar

I have pierced ears and 90% of the time I don’t wear any earrings at all. I need to find a way to display them so it doesn’t take too much time, when I’m running late, to find ones to wear.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

If I had a daughter, I don’t think I would get her ears pierced as a baby. My parents did not bother with getting my ears pierced and I am glad they didn’t! I think it should be a person’s own decision, just as I think circumcision should be a person’s own decision. Different subject, I know, but there is still a similarity. A parent making a decision like that takes away his or her child’s freedom over his or her own body! Sure, maybe when the child is older, he or she will be glad his or her parent(s) were okay with that decision, but what if that ends up not being what the child wanted? Why risk it?

As for whether or not I’d allow my daughter (if I had one) to get her ears pierced if she wanted them pierced… yes, I would let her (maybe after a certain age). It’s her body… and besides, it’s pretty normal where I live for girls and women to have their ears pierced.

I wouldn’t stop being friends with someone or view him or her as a horrible parent if he or she made sure his or her her daughter’s ears were pierced while she was young, but… I just don’t see me doing that myself with any of my potential daughters.

CWOTUS's avatar

It just occurred to me, but why are we being so sexist about this? When would y’all pierce your sons’ ears?

JilltheTooth's avatar

I won’t pierce anyone’s ears, that little poppy sound makes me gag.

JLeslie's avatar

@CWOTUS It isn’t sexist in my opinion. It is just about gender norms.

Dutchess_III's avatar

(I remember putting earrings for the girls earrings in a plastic Easter egg at Easter time…one year I did for my son, too. He’d gotten his ears pierced when he was 16. He just showed up with them pierced one day. I didn’t care. My daughter said, “He’s got to be the only guy who gets earrings in his Easter eggs!!” : )

CWOTUS's avatar

So… just to take the discussion in a new direction, @JLeslie, what’s the difference between sexism and gender norms?

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Were you just jokin’ about that, @CWOTUS? ;)

I realize I may be being Cap’n Obvious here, but oh well.. I’m okay with that.

JLeslie's avatar

@CWOTUS I just relate sexism to discrimination, and gender norms to what is typical for a gender within a society. Certainly it can crossover, they are not mutually exclusive. I admit I am just talking off the top of my head, not working from some sort of formal definition I looked up and researched. I guess I think of norms as simply statistically prevelant, but it does not mean something outside of the norm is necessarily taboo or looked down upon, it only means in my mind statistically unlikely or less likely.

When you asked when would people pierce their son’s ears, I was kind of thinking mom’s doing it to their son’s, when they are babies. But, I realize now you probably were also including when would parents allow their son’s.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Sticking with the gender-norm issue…it seems like parents justify piercing their baby’s ears so that people looking at the bald-headed little thing will know it’s a girl, and not a boy. Like that’s really important or something. Pfffft.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III I had not thought of that.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I asked somebody once why they did it, and that’s what they told me. I think it’s mean, personally.

Ela's avatar

When she is old enough to decide for herself and take care of them. I was 12 and had chickened out twice before my sister basically told me I was getting it done. When I was 18 I pierced my left ear a second time. I have no desire to put any more holes in my body : )
@Dutchess_III I was a bald headed baby. Thank God my mom taped a bow to my head rather than pierce my ears.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

@ the gender norm issue…

Well, if that’s really such an issue for those parents, they can dress their young daughters in dresses. :)

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t get why it is a big deal if someone cannot tell the gender of a baby? I am not keen on the bows either, but I am not very focused on young girls being girly girls, even though I consider myself a very feminine woman. Not feminine with florals and lace though; more of a sleek lines woman.

I figured the earings were just a thing people do in certain cultures, and so everyone just does it without thinking about it much. When my neice and nephew were baptised they received gold chains with crosses, and jewelry is just more of a focus in their culture in general, even for men. Plus, a lot of people think it is less traumatic for a baby than an older child. It is done in a second, the baby doesn’t remember any discomfort. I am not saying I agree or not, just stating what I thought was in the minds of people who pierce their baby girls ears.

@AnonymousGirl Dresses don’t work well on babies, because they are lying down much of the time, and the dresses get all bunched up. Think about when you wear a night gown instead of separates to bed. The nightgown can move up and get all twisted. But, they can certainly put their kid in pink.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

^ You’re right. I stand corrected about babies. ^_^

Yes, pink clothing sounds good!

You are also right that it doesn’t matter if someone who really doesn’t need to know the gender of a baby can’t tell what gender he or she is. It’s not that big of a deal.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

^^ Funny story about dressing babies in pink: Both my daughters were completely bald at birth, and no matter how pink or purple their outfits were, people still called them boys.

After about the twentieth time someone called my oldest a boy, I actually got upset, turned my head and said, “Do most boys wear pink velvet jumpers with bows on the collar?” I felt a little silly later, for getting pissy over it, it just astounded me how many people were completely oblivious to the obvious. :D

AnonymousWoman's avatar

^^ Maybe it’s because of those people who like the idea of dressing their baby boys in pink because they feel like it’s sexist that pink is associated with girls and blue is associated with boys. That being said, I can definitely see why you see the humour in that now. ^_^

Dutchess_III's avatar

But what does it matter if it’s a girl or a boy, guys?? The folks will ask!
@WillWorkForChocolate Maybe they were trying to be….PC! Not make assumptions. In this day and age, cross dressing your babies is perfectly acceptable! Confusing, but acceptable. See.

JLeslie's avatar

People just don’t observe in general. A guy I worked with said he was going to write a book and call it Push Pull. It is an example of how a door can say PUSH in huge letter right in front of someone’s face, and they will pull hard on the door several times, until they focus on what is in front of them, and easily push the door open.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

^^ Good point. I tried to pull a door open the other day at a mall and my friend I was with laughed at me and told me that the last time she did that was when she was really young. It should have been obvious to me that it was one of those doors that I should have pushed open, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t paying attention. It was a door, regardless of the colour… and I felt the need to pull it at the moment. A baby is a baby, regardless of what he or she is wearing.

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