Why do men traditionally bend their knees when they are asking for a woman's hand in marriage anyway?

I’ll back you on the other question. I ain’t touching this one, other than to say who rules the roost?

Check this out and I think it will clarify.

“Surrendering to the humility of love . . .”

Leftover from medieval times, like opening doors and pulling out chairs. Doors and chairs: because they were made of heavy wood and the tightly corseted women couldn’t inhale enough to heft those.

Because beautiful women are supposed to make us blokes go weak at the knees.

The whole idea of “courtly love”, associated with the broader code of chivalry that came out of medieval European court life, was seen as a “religion of love”, in which the woman was overtly idolized. This worshipful attitude involved proving one’s devotion by treating the woman as one’s sovereign. Many of our ideals about what love and romance should be like come from that odd little slice of history.

I always thought that it came from the fact that those to be knighted bend at the knee, so as to honor and supplicate their sovereign. The woman’s act of acceptance is analagous to knighting the supplicant. Some interesting parallels there, eh? : )

Submission ritual?
@Adirondackwannabe “Who rules the roost” You’re on to something. (Just leave my man-cave alone!)

And whether these days we have more medical understanding of how babies are produced, there has always been the knowledge of everyone’s absolute dependence on mom to produce spawn/heirs.

@dabbler Yeah, give me my man-cave or the garage, and I’m bigger and physically stronger, but in a true loving and respectful relationship, who melts first when you look into each other’s eyes.

I see it as a sign of honor and respect. My hubby dropped to one knee; I thought it was very sweet. =0)

A big improvement from knocking her over the head and dragging her off to the cave.

To be able to look each other in the eyes, to be on the same level?
Sometimes, by the way, the woman asks the man to marry her!

I don’t know of any of my married friends who got down on one knee to ask for an engagement. Seems kind of silly to me. And none of my friends would marry a girl who expected or demanded it.

And never ask a girl to marry you if there are people witnessing. It’s your first most important decision as a couple, don’t trap someone into saying yes unless you really like going through divorce.

@rebbel Oh, so that’s the way it is… eh? ;-) The taller one must bend down? I got that idea from the tall woman bending over!

@zenvelo Makes sense. I talked to my Dad about this question and he told me he didn’t do that for my Mom (his wife). He also finds the tradition silly. When I asked him where it came from, he told me he doesn’t know.

This did not happen here. I looked her square in the eyes, sitting in my car, and popped the question.

What you see on tv is mainly an old tradition of long ago and not many men do this today, unless it for the publicity of it.

@rebbel

That’s what happened with my wife and me. She asked first! Only time in my life that a woman asked ME! : )

@john65pennington I rarely ever watch TV. I am aware this might not be common practise anymore. I used the word “traditionally” for a reason. I wanted to know what was behind it.

I don’t really know. The so-called proposals of marriage I have received were hardly traditional.

My wife and I had skirted the topic several times for a few months and one day we were having lunch sitting on a bench in the plaza of the (r.i.p.) World Trade Center and she hauled off and said “You know, I think we should get married” so we did. No kneeling involved. We have complementary strengths and it’s been a mutual submission ritual for the next sixteen years.

Everything I could find about the tradition said something similar to this:

The custom of proposing on one knee hearkens back to the days of knighthood and chivalry when it was customary for a knight to dip his knee in a show of servitude to his mistress and his master. The knight would kneel before a tournament and wait for “his” lady to toss him her ribbon or colors, as an indication of her favor. (source)

My husband got down on one knee when he proposed. We were in our hotel room, preparing to get married (we had made plans to elope because of him being away with the Army at the time and all of our planning had been over the phone). I never expected a traditional proposal or to get an engagement ring. I was completely caught off guard with it and very pleasant surprised. We got married about 2 hours later as planned.

@Seaofclouds

And that was how long ago? : )

@CaptainHarley It was October 2008.

@Seaofclouds

Wow! You guys got married around the same time Vicky and I did! Congratulations on the four! : ))