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Quinnk123's avatar

Is my boyfriend getting bored with me?

Asked by Quinnk123 (198 points ) September 6th, 2012

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and I love him and he has told me he loves me. In the beginning and even the middle of our relationship, he sent me random cute messages and always complimented me. He would show me off in front of his friends and always put me first. I’m not the high maintenance type of girl; I just thought he was doing all this because he was happy he was dating me and stuff. But lately things have changed. He rarely compliments me, just the occasional “you’re cute.” I have said I love you to him and he changes the topic without saying it back. Also, I’ve tried like flirting and keeping our relationship fun but he just tells me I’m weird or that he’s tired. I’ve asked him if everything was alright and he always replies with “I’m fine.” When we are together, he sits there on his phone texting other girls and playing games. I don’t know what’s wrong… Is he bored with me? What should I do?

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16 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

….............

Yes.

Earthgirl's avatar

Yes, it sounds like he’s losing interest. But if you should seem too desperate and try to regain ground it’s likely he will flee. My advice? Be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Try not to ask for endless reassurance. Assume that you are worthy of his attentions and if he isn’t interested in you there are many other fish in the sea. If you lose him, he wasn’t for you. On the other hand, your statement that you are “high maintenance” troubles me. Do you need constant reassurance? Do you need to always come first? if so, I can understand him slowly backing away.

chyna's avatar

If he is sitting with you ignoring you and texting other girls and playing games, he’s bored or has lost interest. Life is too short to try to constantly “win back” someone that has already mentally left you, he just hasn’t physically left yet.

imgr8's avatar

honestly, to me it sounds like he’s completely losing interest. The fact that he sits around texting other girls when he’s with you is not cool, not that he can’t have girl friends, but you should come first! Talk to him about it, it could be a misunderstanding since of course we don’t have all the details maybe there’s something stressing him out.
It might be time for you to start pulling away yourself, if he’s not paying attention to you, you don’t need to throw yourself at him, but if your not happy and he wont change walk away.

sinscriven's avatar

Yeah, he’s pretty bored at this point. And it’s not necessarily your fault, he may just like the thrill of the chase and now that you’re more or less clinging to him you’re no longer interesting.

Best thing you can do is start divesting yourself from that relationship and find happiness elsewhere. He’s not going to get more interested in you again so breakdown is inevitable, or it’s already happened and you haven’t realized it yet.

Quinnk123's avatar

@earthgirl I meant to say I am NOT the high maintenance type

Sunny2's avatar

@Quinnk123 You did say you’re not the high maintenance type.
Next time he’s texting friends, don’t say anything. Just walk out of the room. He’s busy, why interrupt? Get strong and take charge. It won’t hurt as much when he bails.

bookish1's avatar

@Quinnk123 : Yeah, it sure sounds like it :-/ Sounds like he is just stringing you along at this point… He could be decent enough to tell you the relationship is not doing it for him anymore, but he’s just trying to avoid the problem.

@Earthgirl : This is fantastic advice. I wish someone had told me this… about a decade ago…
“Be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Try not to ask for endless reassurance. Assume that you are worthy of his attentions and if he isn’t interested in you there are many other fish in the sea.”

SuperMouse's avatar

Yep, it sounds like this relationship has run its course. Move on.

Only138's avatar

Game Over. Dumb his ass first. Too many people “settle”. This is the only LIFE we are promised. No one should have to “settle”. Lifes too short. Give him the boot and find someone else thats more up for the challenge. Piss on him. :
)

Trillian's avatar

Yep. Six months is about the length of time the chemicals last. That excited, need to be together, crazy-about-you-in-love feeling of physical attraction. If your relationship is based solely on that, when it’s gone you have nothing else.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t know if he is bored or not, but you should know that his behavior is not necessarily indicative of a lack of interest. Many men start behaving this way as they get further into a relationship. They stop talking to their women as much. They stop hugging and kissing them as much. They stop using words of affection as much.

In some cases, that does indicate boredom or worse. But in some cases, it indicates that the fellow has started to take his lover more for granted. He doesn’t realize she needs these touches and indications. He thinks it all goes without saying.

If that is what is happening, he needs to learn that it does not go without saying. He needs to learn how to start saying it again.

There may be hope. I’d say it is slim and most likely he is no longer interested. But it is possible that he has started to take you for granted, and just doesn’t know he can’t do that.

Judi's avatar

How old are you? I would almost bet he’s ready to move on, especially if your in your teens.

Earthgirl's avatar

@Quinnk123 Sorry about my misreading of your details. You did say that you aren’t high maintenance. Guess I was tired.

ucme's avatar

You’re probably way too good for the tosspot anyway, get rid.

livelaughlove21's avatar

As the others said, yes, it sounds like he’s losing interest. It happens. If you can sit and have a mature, honest conversation and end things that way, I would do that.

I agree that you shouldn’t settle and the relationship is probably over, BUT I feel I should also say that one reason relationships fail is unrealistic expectations. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. Movie love is rare. After awhile, you get comfortable and things change.It’s natural.

My husband and I began dating 5 years ago when we were 17. Our relationship now barely resembles how it was then. But we love each other, we laugh every day, and we have good communication. I’d rather fight with him than make love with anyone else. Puppy love is fun and exciting, but love takes work when the real world kicks in. Strong relationships last, and the other 50% don’t have what it takes.

Regardless, 6 months is too early for it to be stale. Get out.

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