Social Question

MagicalMystery's avatar

NSFW: Ladies, is it ok for you to receive him without any foreplay?

Asked by MagicalMystery (763 points ) November 10th, 2012

Ladies: Is it ok for your guy (spouse, boyfriend, booty call, whatever) to “put it in” without any foreplay, other than making out?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

Leanne1986's avatar

It depends how horny I am to begin with. Sometimes just kissing is enough to get me horny enough to “receive” him, other times I need a bit more than that.

hearkat's avatar

Making out can be enough foreplay to get me hot and bothered – and lubricated – enough. But sometimes (especially as I get older) the juices don’t flow as easily, so additional foreplay is beneficial. Fortunately, my fiancé is a very generous lover, and he enjoys giving me pleasure.

marinelife's avatar

Certainly not.

glacial's avatar

No. At the very least, it is incredibly bad manners for him to want to do so.

Ayesha's avatar

No. It’s not okay.

Ponderer983's avatar

Yes, sometimes. Quickies, when I want him inside so bad I don’t care about foreplay.

partyrock's avatar

Yes I think it’s fine. Sometimes making out is enough so I don’t see a problem with it. It depends on the couple I guess.

Unbroken's avatar

When in doubt ask, we like quickies too, but of course we love foreplay. And of course preferences differ.
If you aren’t comfortable discussing these things with her, well that is a bad indicator.
Mostly the lack of foreplay comes into a bad light when we just feel used.
Foreplay can be as little as quick touches during the day, your eyes seeking hers out in a crowd or in public, sharing secrets with her or showing her in someway you value her.

glacial's avatar

I don’t know, I got the feeling from the way the question was asked that the guy in question did it without getting any kind of “ok” from the girl. Otherwise, why is this even a question?

@MagicalMystery Can you tell us why you are asking the question? I think a little more context would change a lot of the responses in one direction or the other.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Provided the kissing makes you lubricated enough to take him without hurting you, I don’t see why not. And if this kissing involves touching and rubbing and general fondling, even better.

I’m really confused at why people are saying it’s absolutely not okay. Why not?

I’m assuming the OP means just kissing as opposed or oral sex or digital stimulation. Not all sex involves cunnilingus…for various reasons. And it’s not “rude” for a guy to have consensual sex with a girl without going down on her. It’s not a prerequisite of penetration.

However, like @glacial, I’m wondering what the background story of the question is, because that might change everything. Nothing should be done without the girl’s consent, of course. And if more foreplay is desired, one should ask for it. If not, it’s all about whatever you’re comfortable with.

janbb's avatar

It might be ok emotionally but it might not be ok physically. YMMV

marinelife's avatar

@livelaughlove21 Because kissing and fondling is foreplay.

glacial's avatar

@marinelife Agreed, but they could also fall under the category of “making out” as the OP mentions in the details.

Unbroken's avatar

Which brings me to the point that if it is the first time for engagement of physical activity among partners there needs to be efforts made to ensure that both partners are ok with the progression. She may ask for it, he can tell her he would like it, or request it. But shoving it after a couple of kisses most definitely not ok.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t need to get laid to have great sex. Some of the best sex I ever had has just been pleasuring my lady.

thesparrow's avatar

Sometimes you’re just ready to go without anything. LOL.

thesparrow's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I’m sure all of the ladies here can appreciate that comment.. and are also a little jealous.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@thesparrow I was kind of bummed to get three GA’a to that. Come on guys, let’s work on pleasing our ladies. If they love how we make them feel they’ll do the same for us.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@marinelife Well then what is making out? I made the distinction because the OP said “no foreplay” and then said “just making out” – I’m aware that kissing is foreplay, but that doesn’t answer the actual question.

Unbroken's avatar

Well said @Adirondackwannbe

LuckyGuy's avatar

Somebody break out the Brie and turn on the microwave.

deni's avatar

If I’m already in the mood, sure. If I’m not, no. Totally depends. Sometimes I just want it NOW! Others not so much.

Haleth's avatar

There might be times when I’m already in the mood/ impatient/ feel like having a quickie. But PIV intercourse alone never, ever brings me to orgasm. It’s pretty rare for women to orgasm from intercourse alone. Something like this, initiated by me, might be fun occasionally, maybe as a fantasy.

Otherwise, a guy just bypassing foreplay to “stick it in” is uncool and inconsiderate at best- that’s if the sex is consensual. Even then, it’s pretty much a recipe for the guy to be the only one who gets off that night. At worst, this could be rape.

Anyway, when did “ok” become an acceptable standard for sex? Just don’t do this, unless she asks.

Also really interested in the context of this question.

MagicalMystery's avatar

Thank you all for answering. No, there was no rape involved, ever. I asked this question thinking of a relationship I had when I was way younger, and naive, and foreplay was usually not part of the equation. What reminded me of it was recent event: I have been seeing a guy for a few months and we have had some good sex, sex with very mutual foreplay). We had not seen each other for a few weeks due to circumstances with our two busy lives. He came over and we made out, and other than that, there was no foreplay because he was eager and I was willing. It wasn’t bad and there was no pain involved.

It just made me wonder sex without foreplay is acceptable for other women, not just for physical reasons, but more so if it’s considered rude to be “taken” without foreplay.

When I said “making out” I was referring to kissing, no other foreplay (i.e. no fingering, oral, etc.)

Unbroken's avatar

I think if it makes you feel bad you should talk about it or simply ask him not to do it again until the time where you deem it appropriate.
Early on in the relationship there should be courting or honeymoon phase even after the sex barrier is broken you are establishing boundaries and what this guy did was clearly selfish. Hence a red flag. He can redeem himself if you give him a chance or if he wants to put the effort into it. If you don’t feel its worth approaching or don’t feel comfortable it is a sign you need to drop him. Because this is 98% bound to happen again, it is valid to feel used, and you certainly don’t want to encourage such behavoir.

tedd's avatar

As a guy I have to ask… what’s this foreplay you speak of?

lol

thesparrow's avatar

As bad as this may sound, right now some good foreplay would be him losing a few lbs.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@thesparrow I understand that 100 percent. I was looking at people today and thinking why can’t you take care of yourself. If not for yourself for your loved ones. 50 or 60 pounds overweight is gross.

thesparrow's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Yes but people make all sorts of excuses. And then its ‘why is our sex life bad?’

Unbroken's avatar

@thesparrow and @Adirondackwannabe I agree but sometimes it starts out by being to busy for sex or busy for “me” compensate with food and there you go.

If you start having sex again like frolicking youngsters it all melts away. Not just purely from physicallness but because those who fill in food for sex don’t have to anymore.

This only works with specific people. The reasons for obesity are diverse and complex so there is no one size fits all approach. Pun not intended.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther