Social Question

Shippy's avatar

Are you at that stage, where all your friends look "so" old?

Asked by Shippy (9852 points ) November 29th, 2012

A few weeks ago I bumped into some old friends from the past. Wow! they look decrepit. One was an old boyfriend who was a dancer. He was so good looking and fit. We used to call him the “Peter Pan” of (where I live).

Another guy, I used to go clubbing with, well he just looks fat old and dowdy. He was really gorgeous 20 years ago.

But then I guess we do not see ourselves clearly? Perhaps I do too. I wonder why we can’t see ourselves so clearly. Is it like that painting that hangs skew on the wall? We just don’t see it anymore.

I was looking at old photos of myself, well, not that old a few years ago. I looked so healthy, vibrant, full of life. I hope that somehow I capture some of that back. How are your old friends from the past looking? Do you look at past photos of yourself and wish you were back there?

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39 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

I rarely ever wish I were younger, I was so dumb and naive. I know I’ve changed in some ways, mostly for the better, but perhaps my butt is a little bigger and my boobs not as perky, but I love myself for what I am.

A lot of my friends are getting wrinkles and some guys are starting to lose hair, not everyone wants to go to bars and parties anymore, but to me that’s part of life.

Embrace it, and remember, there are many people who wished they were lucky enough to grow old. :)

jordym84's avatar

I’m 24, so right now all my childhood friends are at that stage where everyone looks grown up, healthy, vibrant and gorgeous. But to answer your question, I think the main reason we notice aging in others more than we do in ourselves is because aging happens gradually and even if we change a lot in the span of, say, a year, we don’t really notice it because it happened over time (unless we compare photos from then and now). Whereas with people that we don’t see as often, we have a certain mental picture of what they looked like the last time we saw them and so, when we see them again years later, we’re taken aback by how much they’ve changed from the last time we saw them – it’s the whole taking it all in at once rather than in small doses that causes the most surprise, I suppose.

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

I recently saw somebody I was friends with, but had not seen them apart from them driving past in their car for a couple of years and boy have they changed. He has lost that thin look, but has now gone the other way and I think what that shows is that if we do not see somebody for a period of time, then we are often shocked by how much they have changed. If I had bumped into him once a month even it would not have shocked me that much as it would have come across as a more natural progression.

It is interesting when I see people in the street that I was at school with (I left there 16 years ago) and some have not aged well at all and look more like they are in their 40s than 30s, but I hope they do not say the same about me lol.

zenvelo's avatar

I am at an age (57) where some people still look as hot as if they were in their twenties, and many look like they should be shuffling off their mortal coil. This has been going on in a big was since we turned fifty.

I had a bout of weight gain a couple years ago which has been damn hard to get off, I used to look ten years below my age, but in the last two years I seemed to have aged by 15 years.

JLeslie's avatar

Nope. Most of friends look great. I’m 44, and most of my friends from my young, clubbing, high school and college and just started in the work force days still look young to me. They look 30–50, but young. I do have some older friends, above the age of 50, and they are showing their age a little so to speak, but the majority still look very good, travel, are active, interested, etc. A few gained a lot of weight or look less kept, but that is not the majority.

Coloma's avatar

Yes. We are all 50 something now and some of us look better than others.
I have friends that are very thin but they look older because they do not have an extra ounce of fat on their bodies to plump up their sagging faces. haha
I am in the camp right now of sacrificing my ass for the sake of my face. A little extra weight makes you look younger at this time of life. It plumps out the wrinkles. lol

I like the saying that ” what we lose in form we gain in wisdom.”

Remember the story of the Velveteen Rabbit?
What the skin horse said to the bunny?
“Generally by the time you become “real” most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.”
“But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are real you cannot be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.:
“Once you become real you can’t become unreal, it lasts for always.”

KNOWITALL's avatar

A lot of people have told me about that, Coloma, gaining a little weight – BONUS!

Coloma's avatar

@KNOWITALL Yes, an extra 15–20 lbs. really makes a difference, and, especially for women after menopause with Osteoporosis I KNOW that is mis-spelled a little extra padding might save you from a broken bone, plus, if you are really thin and get sick, you don’t have any fat reserves to help you. If I get sick and lose 20 lbs. I come out ahead of the game. lol

marinelife's avatar

When I see old friends I haven’t seen for a while, I do think that they look old. And then I laugh thinking they must be thinking that about me too!

ucme's avatar

No, a few of them look maybe a couple of pounds heavier, not so old they look like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle though.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh man. Here I was, so happy about losing 15 pounds from my hospital stay! I’m down to 134 (5’8) :(

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III Yay! Well…you had some weight to lose,and you came out of your ordeal healthy but lighter.lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah, but do I look 10 years older now????

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III I doubt it, you’re a beauty any way you slice it. :-)

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

People my age look like hell! It amazes me when I see some old guy on the news, and then the reporter says he is 51. Really? He looks about 75. My old friends, my ex’s, they all look twice as old as I do. I keep thinking that I must look that old, too, but my kids swear that I don’t. The girls in my office and I are all the same age (58–60) and none of us look that old. Is it because we work at a high school? Maybe youth is catching – ha-ha!

Shippy's avatar

@JLeslie In your 40’s you all should be looking good!

Shippy's avatar

Oh I have a good few friends who work out, have surgery, take growth hormones, plumpers etc., but sorry no…. doesn’t make you look younger. One had every tooth filed down and a fake one put back. Result, she looks like she has false teeth. Plus they all tan like mad, so skin like leather. I’d rather be plump, and natural I believe I look younger that way.

I found myself apologizing for having real boobs at the swimming pool. Since we were all topless and mine were the only ones dancing the highland fling in the water.

flutherother's avatar

I was at a school reunion a few years ago and I was a bit taken aback by how old everyone looked. They were mostly teenagers when I last saw them now they were wrinkled, balding and overweight. As the night wore on however they began to appear more and more like the boys and girls I remembered.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

@flutherother They must have been serving alcohol at the reunion – ha-ha!

flutherother's avatar

@Skaggfacemutt You are right. LOL Maybe that was it.

Coloma's avatar

Hey….no matter how old we are we still have our inner child.
I am very in touch with my four year old self and I treat her to strawberry milk and play doh days. ;-)

Coloma's avatar

^^^ :-p

cookieman's avatar

Yes, or as my father used to say, ”...like ten miles of bad road”.

picante's avatar

Just wait kids . . . one day you’ll be walking through the mall and a reflection of an old man or woman in the shop windows will catch your eye. In the next instant, you realize that old man or woman is you. It’s a sobering experience.

I’ll be 61 in a few days. On a good day, I believe I look 10 years younger. On a bad day, I feel 20 years older. And my contemporaries are a mixed bag—some have aged well; some haven’t. And I wonder if they see me as that old woman reflected in the shop window.

Sunny2's avatar

People I haven’t seen for a long time look older, of course. I’m noticing I’m finally beginning to look my age. I looked a good 10 years younger than I am. I wondered how long I could get away with it. Now I know. You know the wrinkles that go from your cheek bones to your chin? I always wondered if the ones from the bottom came first or the ones from your cheeks came down first. Now I know both start at once. When they meet, there’s no way you can say you look young. However, you can still see youth in my eyes and smile. I’m not ready to give up yet!

Shippy's avatar

@Sunny2 They say if the mouth is still looking kissable you are good to go!!

Sunny2's avatar

@Shippy Woohoo! I’ll keep my eyes open!

Coloma's avatar

Last night I was waiting on a plumber for a clogged toilet situation.
It took forever and the guy didn’t show up until almost 7:30 pm after a call at 3 pm.
I have been sick the last few days, and while showered I was in my PJ’s and a vest with my hair swept to the side and not looking my personal best.
I caught myself thinking “Hmmm…maybe I should put on a little makeup” and then on the heels of that thought, I became aware that HEY….this guy looks at SHIT all day so I have nothing to worry about! lol

rooeytoo's avatar

It happens all the time. An old friend will connect, out of the blue, on facebook and I think to myself, holy cow, so and so looks old as the hills!!!

Then I look in the mirror and I think who the hell is that old broad, eheheh!

I do also notice, I will find myself seeing someone struggling with shopping or somesuch and I think I should go help that old soul, then I realize they are probably younger than I am!

JLeslie's avatar

@Shippy I have quite a few acquaintances who don’t. Most are very overweight.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I think you usually start to see that in the 30’s. Maybe it’s because by this age, people have gotten married, had kids, etc… and of course having kids will age you. Most everyone in their 20’s looks young, whether they’re skinny, chubby, pretty, fugly, whatever. I have begun to notice, since I passed 30, that some of my high school friends look much older.

There’s one woman in particular who looks like she’s 50. BUT, she also did some really stupid things after high school. She’s who I think of when someone uses the phrase, “She looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.” Lady just looks completely used up.

Shippy's avatar

@JLeslie Some of the most beautiful women I know and admire are ‘overweight’.

I know there are health issues. But a lot are healthy, work out, eat well, they are just overweight. Lot’s of skinny people I know have high cholesterol and eat badly, smoke etc.,

It’s a shame that some ‘give up’ because they carry some weight. That’s why I am posting this, because I also feel subject to and pressure to be ‘thin’. I am not overweight. I am average for my height. But am considered huge by some, since most are quite skinny or seek to be. So for a little inspiration check out here Phew, the female with the corset and mask near the bottom of the page and here. (This was for the larger ladies)! :)

JLeslie's avatar

@Shippy I didn’t mean that everyone who is overweight looks bad or old, but rather the ones who do look more aged are also rather overweight. 20 pounds is nothing, so I should have been more clear, I guess technically they might actually be obese the people I am referring to. I agree with people above that sometimes some weight can actually make someone look younger, too thin and they can look very wrinkled and skeletal in their face, and even appear weak sometimes. But, that idea of choosing your face instead of your ass isnusually for people over 60. I will probably have to make that choice, as I have always been more wrinkled than my peers.

I do see many people who are obese who are 25 and look 40, because of their weight. These aren’t friends of mine but people I meet or see on TV. They usually are 50+ pounds overweight.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Having kids didn’t age me! Hell, I had my first grandkid at 37 and people thought I was still in my 20’s! I think the thing that aged me, other than birthdays, was financial stress. If that makes sense.

Leanne1986's avatar

At the moment I am still at the stage where I see old friends getting married and having children and think to myself “they’re far too young!” Then I realise that, actually, we are not far to young! Some of my friends are on their second and third planned children and I am still surprised everytime!!!

Coloma's avatar

I think the obesity factor has more to do with looking “matronly” rather than facial age.
It’s hard for very overweight people to find fashions of a youthful nature that fit. Stretchy clothes are generally not fashionable or youthful looking.

JLeslie's avatar

@Coloma I agree with the matronly assessement. Although, sometimes even their face seems older. Not wrinkled, but back in my day young people were not fat, so I think it is how I associate weight and age maybe?

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