Any middle aged jellies starting over from scratch? I could use some cheerful optimisim as I am feeling very grim in the moment.

Bought the farm means dead, maybe that should be worded differently? LOL. Leave it to you to have humor accidently during a serious and difficult time. I hope things turn around for you, I wish I had some wisdom to share.

I lost my job after 30 years in 2010. I had only had one other job in my life. I was 52 at the time and devastated. I did get a 6 month severence, and unemployment so I was able to live but it took me a year to find a temporary position. At this time, my mom was very sick and dying. This was the lowest point in my life, but it also gave me the opportunity to be with my mom in her last months.
I only had the temp position for a year and then was unemployed again in 2012.
Finally after another 6 months of being unemployed, and coincidently the same week my unemployment ran out, I found a really good job in a field I never dreamed I would be in. I was 54 at that time.
@Coloma I know you are going through a bad time and I also have seen how you can be such a positive, happy person. There is absolutely hope for a woman your age to get a job and be happy again. I’m living proof. Good luck and {{{hugs}}}.

My husband was forced to take an early retirement from his company two years ago. We went from a very nice income, a health insurance plan that couldn’t be topped, twice a year bonuses etc. to moving to our retirement home in Florida without a clue of what was to happen to us. He was 54 and I was 49 at the time. We bought and sold a few homes and are trying our hand at a couple of other business ventures.

Right in the middle of situation, his father came to his distraught and…well, to make a long story short, we are supporting him and his wife. We bought them a house and they can’t even afford the HOA fees. Ggrrrr. It was the right thing to do, but sometimes, I feel so exhausted. Emotionally spent and like I’d like to run away.

But I know that really and truly we are blessed. I can whine to you and it seems so silly. We have so much more than many other people and we are going to survive. You and I are both still very young, @Coloma. We are tough old gals and we’ll get through this bump in the road better than ever. I know sometimes it seems like the road just keeps winding and winding and getting bumpier and bumpier. It’s okay to complain and it is okay to scream and cry-BUT not for long.

Enjoy the ride and hold tight through the twists and turns and feel the wind blowing in your hair as you ride this crazy roller coaster. I’ve worried about you and wondered how you were really doing. Hang in there. You’ve been through worse. It will get better. (((HUGS)))

I had no idea @chyna. (((HUGS))) to you too. That must have been a nightmarish time with your Mom on top of everything else. Good Lord woman. I’m very happy for you. What a wonderful reminder of things really working out for the good in the end.

None of us ever have a promise of tomorrow do we? I really try to be happy each day. One day at a time.

Thanks you guys…yes, my usual cheerful, glass half full, attitude has been draining lately. I am finding myself looking at the big picture and it does not look promising, but…soldiering on. I have not had a day off in the last 12 weeks and it is taking it’s toll right now. I am also living in a very different environment than I am used to.

Big changes, less cash flow and little rest as of late.
I have many ideas, many creative thoughts, but the hardcore reality is it will take me at least 2 years to get a handle on my debt and and after being debt free forever this, coupled with the fact that I have lost my life savings and am earning about ⅓rd of my previous income…well….pretty overwhelming.
I find my thoughts turning to extreme gloom and doom and this is not me!
Bah humbug!

I cashed out my 401k and moved half way around the world. I’ve got a teenager to support and my rent is $1500 a month. I’m almost out of money. The power here is the most expensive in the world. I am sort of terrified and sort of not. You’ve just got to let your inner psychopath take over and be absolutly fearless. I feel ya, truly.

Working that many days without time to reflect and unwind is tough enough on a body, @Coloma. Combine that with all the other changes and stress in your life and you are setting yourself up for a breakdown. It is easy to get tangled in the web of exhaustion and worry, but nothing good will come of that. Worrying and stressing out doesn’t change one single solitary thing in life. If it did, well…you know. You are healthy and you have a wonderful daughter and I’m sure you have many great friends.

I know it is cliche, but do count your blessings. Dig them out of the murk you find yourself in at the moment and shine them up tonight before you close your eyes and rest. Polish up the wonderful memories of the good things you do have in life. If you wake up with your health, you are ahead of the game many people are facing. I know. I know. It hurts and is scary to be in this situation at this time in your life, but you are really young. Ask my 93 year old father what he wouldn’t give to be your age again.

It is all about attitude sometimes. You have a good attitude. I know you do.

@bkcunningham I do, and thanks.
I know I am exhausted, I have been for the last 4 months…health holding up but extreme exhaustion takes its toll. I have a reference point, from extreme joy to extreme exhaustion and uncertainty. Yep, been on both sides of every fence there is now. haha

Be good to yourself, @Coloma. Take extra care of your health right now. You are so independent. It must be really strange to for things to feel a little out of control.

Aside from your humor, intelligence and generally good attitude, what assets do you have to work with? (The farm, I mean.) What is there about the place that can be parlayed into more income? For example, can you hay the fields or bring in a cash crop of some kind? Offer pasture and stable space for horses? Can you instruct or judge equestrian events and training?

It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to suggest things that are out of your line or interest, but… you have the farm. How can that be made into a force multiplier for you?

You’re not starting over. You’ve got experience, insight and maturity that cannot be bought. If the universe has dealt you this hand, then use your experience, insight and maturity to put it all in realistic perspective beyond what any hip shooting youngster could ever hope to..

Seeing clearly allows you to understand the words of the great Lou Holtz.

“Nothing is ever as good as it seems. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems”.

“How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, a winner or loser”.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it”.

“If what you did yesterday seems big, then you haven’t done anything today”.

“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity”.

I’m concerned with your exhaustion. Are you working too hard, or are you becoming depressed? Either way, the current reality upon you will soon show you who you are as a person unto yourself more than any happy advice column ever could. It is your experience, insight and maturity which allows you to see the approaching storm, and prepare for it accordingly. You possess this hard won gift. I suggest you use it to understand yourself in these troubling times.

Now, more than ever, discipline of good diet, regular exercise, and military style sleeping habits are of paramount importance. Routine, routine, routine. So important routine, to convince your subconscious psych that you are doing what it takes to keep yourself spectacular in the face of all adversity. Now is the time to set example for all others. See this opportunity. It was given to you because you can handle it.

By keeping yourself immaculate, physically, mentally… only then will you be prepared to accept the future prosperity awaiting you. Woe to the one who does not understand this, letting themselves fall apart, only to discover the future has passed them by in favor of another who disciplined them self through trying times.

Tough talk from someone you respects you, and is rooting for you. Tough talk from someone who expects nothing less than great things from you.

@CWOTUS No, the micro farm is gone, I couldn’t hang on alone any longer in the middle of nowhere. I kept things going for 7 years until this spring.
I was semi-retired in 2005/ 2006, had 2 sources of passive income, only needed to work part time. Those days are gone, those incomes are gone and so is my place.

I am now rooming with someone trying to get back on my feet and my future is very uncertain. From relative riches to rags.
My lifestyle as well as my ego has taken a big hit.

@Coloma: What kind of work do you do? I am just curious. I always thought you didn’t work, since I don’t believe you’ve spoken about working. I had the impression you took care of the farm stuff and just hung out and enjoyed yourself. It sounded like a good life.

Ah, so… bad wording in your question, then. You lost the farm, not bought it. I’m sorry to hear that.

It may seem inappropriate given your current circumstances, but now is the time to work on your stand-up routine. Do whatever it takes to maintain your current living situation, room-and-board-wise, and write, practice, polish and perfect.

You should already know that most comedians come at the craft from the dark side. They often have had terrible childhoods, bad marriages, drug dependencies and all kinds of other shit that they’ve had to work through… and be able to present humorously, so that other people can see their own lives with a different perspective. Now you’ve hit a dark side of your own, and you have often said how much you might enjoy stand-up comedy. Give it a whack.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Thank you…you are right and I am trying to keep the discilpine, especially concerning enough rest, not easy.

@jca Oh, well..I did enjoy some leisure time, sadly my last biz.venture petered out after 5 years pf prosperity. I worked in interior design and home staging. Loved the work, but sadly, luxury businesses are not getting any bites the last few years. I used to make a really nice salary plus splitting a 1% sale price on the homes I decorated with my partner. Those days are long gone and I miss the work and the money.

Coloma, dear wise lady… I am not in my 50s yet, but I can tell you that this is not an end, but a beginning. I just finished a Bachelor’s degree in my 40s; my classmates probably thought to themselves that I was wasting my time, considering how advanced in years I am compared to them. And it is true that I don’t have the luxury they do of farting around for the next 20 years while I find my feet in my new career. Does that mean I bring nothing to the table? Hardly! And the same goes for you. This new era is about change, not predictability as people like you and I were raised to believe. Hear the strength of your fellow Jellies, and know that you embody similar strength. For now, just breathe… new chapters are always a little scary at first. <3

The discipline would be much easier if you understood that now is the time to concentrate inward. It’s not about taking care of the farm any longer. It’s about taking care of yourself.

Be the change you want to see.

Take care of yourself more than anything. Get out and flirt with the local businesses. Let them see your sunshine. Listen.

Listen. Now is a time for listening.

Your heart can’t speak right now because you’re feeding it. Feed it well and listen.

Great sharings you guys…thank you. I am off to dreamland now…gotta get some zzz’/ so I can continue on this journey. :Damn….I AM a tenacious little thing inspite of it all. :-)

@Coloma I use the past to predict the future, it is all I know how to do. After the last depression, we enjoyed the most expansive period of economic growth the world has ever seen. A similar remarkable expansion followed the long depression of 1873–79.

People like to think themselves clever, and predict that things will get worse in the future. I look at what has happened recently and tell my children they are very lucky, because the odds are, they won’t ever have to deal with an economy this bad again in their working lifetimes. I talk to some of my friends who tell me this is how things are now, and it is a new normal. I don’t want to laugh out loud to them, but I do wonder if they understand what “new” or “normal” means.

I know “It could be worse.” isn’t great comfort, but what I’d give to be facing the same at 50. The bottom dropped out of my business in the 2007 Great Recession. I was 63. I’m still struggling to pay of debt I took on and overdue accounts from that collapse.

Here’s an idea. You’re an excellent writer with a great sense of humor. Think up some ideas and pitch em to potential publishers. You could always help others who’ve hit the same economic pit. If none of that works, chances are exploring it will turn up something that will. You’ve got that never-say-die pioneer spirit. Just keep on keeping on, and you’ll find the right path.

My husband was laid off at 52 years of age, and couldn’t find another job for over 2 years. During that time, my income took a 90% nosedive, too. We are in a very precarious financial position at the moment, and doing everything we can to save our home and dig ourselves out of a very deep hole.

I’m working three part-time jobs, and Mr. Augustlan finally did find a job recently… he’s now 54 and working part-time at Walmart for just above minimum wage. There is finally some light at the end of our tunnel, but we have a loooong way to go, yet. I feel ya’, girlie! This is so not where we expected to be at this stage in our lives.

The good news is that we’re still alive, our kids are doing great, and there is more than enough love to go around.

I’ve done this 3 times in my lifetime and seriously thinking about it again, at 60. If I find myself at loose ends during either an employment crisis in my field, or a general economic downturn, I usually go back to school. The one caveat I have for people in our age group is to stay away from federally sponsored school loans because they are the only debt they can tap your Social Security pension for if you are unable to pay them back. Look for grants and tuition waiver programs.

In Sacramento you have Cal State Sacto, Sacramento City College, American River College, MTI, UC Davis/Sacto, and Consumnes River College, a couple of Law schools and what looks like a very nice art school—veritable buffet of education. My god, what an abundance for a city of that size. I suggest a one year certificate course in something you are interested in doing—just to get your feet wet in the field of your choice at decent pay. One of these schools must have veterinary science courses. Isn’t UC Davis big into Ag? I think you would love large animal veterinary medicine, considering your long history with horses. This history should give you a head start on jobs as well, once you’re certified. And there might be something in the fowl dept. Wetlands fowl studies and research, wetlands and seabird rescue are big nowadays. Somebody has to show the volunteers how to do it right. Maybe some migratory geese need a little help from a certified veterinary assistant in those vast wetlands between you and SF Bay?

CalState has a tuition and lab costs waiver program in many categories, including financial hardship. I don’t think loans are necessary in certain fields of study, if you can work part time until your apprenticeship kicks in. Pell grants are available, as are many other field-specific grants. Under federal law, and many state laws, tuition and lab costs are waived for many qualified college sponsored apprentice programs.

You’re only 54. They just jacked your retirement age to 66. By the time you get there, they’ll probably have jacked it a couple more times. You can spend the next decade or more in a field you love, doing something good and meaningful while making a living wage and eventually furthering your education toward Bachelors and Masters with very little cost to yourself if you work it right. Google Sacramento Colleges. Open the course catalogues. Open Student Services. Call a couple of career counselors on Tuesday.

Gird your loins and go for it, Gurl. There is another lifetime still to live. Don’t waste a minute of it.

Everyone’s words to @Coloma are so loving, tender and wise. @Espiritus_Corvus your words and the words of @RealEyesRealizeRealLies resonated with me. I know that wasn’t your intention, but seriously, thank you. Very good advice.

Well good morning everyone! Feeling pretty good today and yes, some sage and good advice.
@Espiritus_Corvus Currently I am over an hour out of Sacramento and really cannot afford the time or money to go back to school at this time, however, I am looking into a few creative pursuits at this time. I did spend several years thinking of something I might wish to pursue but the truth is I am not interested or motivated enough to go back to school.

I will continue to “employ” my creative resilience during this trying time.
I need to stop thinking that in order to fund a retirement I need to be able to bank over 60k a year for the next 14 years. This thinking and the reality of such is daunting to say the least.
Yes…one day at a time, that’s all any of us can do.

Need a cabin girl anytime soon? Can I bring my cats if they adapt to wearing life jackets? lol

What happened to your goose? I am worried about the goose!

We reinvent ourselves every couple of years. Over our lives we have made and lost fortunes. We could have avoided loosing them but if we had, we would have missed some amazing adventures. You know all the hallmark card sayings, most are too trite but the one I believe is that when one door closes another opens, you just have to keep looking. You are just a spring chicken and smart and a smart ass, (compliment!) you will be okay.

@Coloma, FWIW, I’ve recently been reading two books that I think are sort of right for the moment in my life of some rubber meeting the road after a few years of living the high life. One is The $100 Startup and the other is Early Retirement Extreme. (The latter is not nearly as schlocky as it sounds and is written by a physicist.) Both are a good bit commonsense, but come from a place of shifting ground from wage/salary earning in a job market to finding discovering low cost ways to create value for others and income for you. The concepts and lifestyle is not something that I’ve ever practiced, but it seems timely for me to make a shift in that direction, and it’s comforting to think that there’s always an opportunity to create value somewhere.

Fuck the geese. What about the hot tub?

@serenade Haha…hot tubs gone and so are the geese. They have an amazing home on a 10 acre ranch about 35 miles from me. Custom duck and goose barn, huge stalls, shuttered and screened sliding windows and fields of clover, Mazuri waterfowl chow, the best, vet care and a new, doting, mother and father goose. No, do not fuck my geese, I would have to kill you. lol

I wish I had bought that bunglalow in Costa Rica a few years ago. I could have had jungle geese and traded skunks, raccoons and mountain lions for howler monkeys, leopards and parrots. lol

Geese are gone? I thought you were so into them? I am surprised.

@jca I was, they were my darlings for almost 15 years, but I had to re-home them as they are not allowed in city limits. I get daily updates, videos, emails, pictures and have visited, but…Marwyn was very upset and digressed in his adjustment after my last visit in April. I am extremely sad but not going back for at least 6 months. He is very imprinted on me being his mama for all these years and he needs to adjust to his new routine and parents.

Letting them go was the hardest thing I have ever done, and trumps my divorce 10 years ago. Marwyn is the worlds most intelligent and special goose and he will be in my heart forever. I am richer for the experience of loving him and it is a bittersweet parting inspite of finding him the best home I could have ever imagined with other eccentric animal lovers like me who also have boatloads of cash to keep him in the style he was accustomed to all his life. Swimming pools and movie stars. lol

@Coloma: Another thing I didn’t know about you – that you live in the city. I thought you lived on a farm or something, or at least that’s what you used to talk about. Maybe I just haven’t been paying attention lately.

@jca She did, but had to leave it all behind. She just recently moved to the city and re-homed the geese. :(

Boo Hoo….Coloma Woebegone days. :-(

Update 6–30 ‘13

Hangin’ in there, getting my rest and my creative groove is, ever so slightly, groovin’ again. Doing some humor writing and was just approved for a decent little emergency loan. My credit is still outstanding gotta brag a bit in this shitty situation, lol
Things are not perfect, far from it, and I still miss my home dreadfully…but…I’m gonna make it, somehow, some way. :-)

I’m glad to hear the update, Girlie. Humor writing? That sounds really interesting. I’d love to hear about that.

“Doing some humor writing…”

orly… pictures or it didn’t happen

:D Ya made it!!

I guess how you seen not buying the farm (nothing wrong with the terminology, I understood it), varies from person to person. Myself, I would have hoped to buy the farm and escape this rat race, but then again, one has to be confident what will happen once this tent dies. However, you are still here, reinvent yourself by eCommerce. You have to channel your entrepreneur genes. What can you do that you can peddle online for money? I would start there.

@Hypocrisy_Central I’m back on the ranch now, no rat race for me again.
In a great living situation and getting my financial legs again. It was a really horrible 17 months in the city and while still not as good as I had it, it is much better than it was up until last August when I moved here.