Do I like him or not?

@jp, dude, break out your wallet again.

he is 8 years older

i know I don’t have a chance probably, but I’m just confused if I like him or not

No, it’s called lust, or a crush.

I really like him. I’m physically and mentally attracted to him, but there is just something that makes me not

Well, like, what I like to do, I mean, I have done, but I don’t really do it every time, but it has worked. anyway, what I do, or we do, is like get into bed, and then we make a dutch oven and like, if we don’t run screaming then, like, well we know we like each other because we were like totally in a dutchoven and we didn’t freak. I recommend this highly.

If he’s 8 years older than you, he’s not going to like you. And if you guys DID go out, it would be illegal.

I think from what you have posted that you are still in middle school, right? I do not think a relationship with a guy that much older will be very fulfilling. You two really won’t have much in common.

Also, I believe you should listen to your gut. The “just something that makes me not” is your gut instinct. It is usually right. We humans ignore it all too often at our peril.

Why don’t you ask him out somewhere and see how he responds. That will give an idea if is interested.

I like Sueanne’s advice. Grease that oven but be damn sure if you wanna make biscuits.

Marina i’m in High school. I’m a sophmore

biscuits? what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Don’t do anything. He is too old for you. Even more true, you are too young for him.

so what if I was 40 and he is 47…(sorry he is actually only seven years older) whould he still be too old for me?

You are not 40, so that is a moot point.

i know but if I was would it be wrong?

Wow. OK mrs frankfurter, if you are a soph then give yourself a chance to finish some things, like school, first. Not easy I know but I agree you probably won’t have a lot in common at this point. 40 & 47 is not a big disparity but those numbers represent people who with the benefit of experience and hindsight are better equipped to make informed decisions. In other words don’t do something stupid you’ll later regret. I say stay focused on your work and don’t bother.

Well plenty of people at my school have boyfriends. So why can’t I have one? sure he’s older, but what’s so wrong with that? Plus, if we didn’t do anything it wouldn’t be illegal. I mean we could hug and kiss, but that’s not illegal. I just want to know what to do, because I like him, but I don’t. I’m at such a confusing age!

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter you know I love you and did not mean to insult you in any way by getting your grade wrong. I still think the rest of my answer applies with you being a sophomore.

As to if you were 40 and he was 48 (you said an 8-year difference) that would be a different case.

The reason is that the amount we learn and change and grow and finish becoming who we will be as adults from sophomore year in high school to two years after finishing college (the eight-year difference) is so much greater than the changes that occur in our lives, our minds and our hearts between 40 and 48.

i meant a 7 year difference

I don’t recommend it. That’s my two cents worth. You sound pretty smart so just try and use some good judgement. Listen to Marina. I’ll check in later , iPhone battery is once again almost dead.

Look, a 7 year difference is not a big deal in your forties. It’s not even that big a deal in your thirties. It could possibly be ok if he is in his late twenties and your in your early twin twenties. See, but when your a sophomore in high school and he’s seven years older, it’s kinda a big deal. You guys have two different mind sets and your not gonna be able to realize that until your older.

I still don’t get why it’s big deal. If it’s not a big deal in your 20s why is it a big deal when your 15?

It’s not the number that matters, it’s about maturity levels. There is a huge difference between 15 and 20, so for you to consider dating a 22 year old will just not work. He can go out and do alot of thaings you can’t do yet, so he would grow bored with you very quickly. It’s best to look for someone your own age, with similar intersts.

It is impossible to describe to you how different you will be seven years from now. You haven’t been there yet so you cannot experience it. I did try by saying there will be a vast gulf between your current self and the you-seven-years-from-now self.

This guy has already crossed that vast gulf and is on the other side. He should have no desire to hang out with a sophomore in high school. If he does, there is something wrong with him—like he is a loser who can’t get a woman his own age to date him, he is hopelessly immature, or he just wants to get into your pants.

What you should look at if you truly want advice is that everyone who has been through this has told you this age difference is not a good idea at this stage your life.

If you just want to go for it anyway, why bother asking? You will not get a blessing from the Fluther crowd it looks like.

you guys aren’t even answering my question though! I’m asking what should I do because part of me likes me and part of me doesn’t

I did. This was my answer: ”Also, I believe you should listen to your gut. The “just something that makes me not” is your gut instinct. It is usually right. ”

Think of it this way. You’re 16 (or 15), and someone 7 years younger likes you and thinks there is nothing wrong with them wanting to go out with you. Would you want to date an 8 year old? Didn’t think so.

but I don’t know which way my gut is going marina

My sister is a sophmore in high school & she sounds just like u. It irritates me. “Well I just dont know if I like him or not” she says. Egh, I really hope I didn’t sound so lame when I was younger. Make the right choice young one, stay away from this loser who is 7 years your senior and find someone your own age to annoy.

that was kind of insulting and rude

@MrsDR

Don’t ask the question if you don’t want peoples’ honest thoughts and opinions.

it’s ok if there honest but they shouldn’t be that blunt

Pay attention to the part of you that doesn’t like him. That is the part of you that has the most common sense.

thank you scamp. that’s the best answer yet…actually in this whole thing that is the best answer at all

I’m sorry if it was rude but that is the same advice I would give to my sister. You have to know how impossible it is for us to answer this question, as we are not you and would have no way of knowing whether you like this guy or not. So why did you ask this question? Because you are young and bored and wanted to talk about yourself and your feelings and that’s fine. Its natural at your age. Sometimes, especially with teenagers, being blunt is necessary. Maybe u need someone to tell you how “special” your questions sound.

ok I’m just going to ask fluther to remove that answer because that was way beyond uncalled for

How was my answer uncalled for? I’m just being completely honest.

sigh…

@Mrsdr

I’m sorry. In the flag page for Fluther, there is no option for “Awesome and Totally Correct”.

8 years older than 15 is 53% your senior. If you are 40 and he is 48, he is 18% older than you. (Have I done the math correctly?) If you are 90 and he is 98, you are the same age.

I am going to go with:
Consult the Magic 8-ball! The All-Seeing Orb Sees All!!!!
Oh great and mighty sphere, thy azure and murky depths…et cetera.

When you’re a little older, I agree 100% with Sueanne T;

The Dutch Oven is a magnificent, life-changing experience that you do not want to miss.

Ever.

I cannot fathom what you guys talk about. Once you have sex with him willingly or he rapes you he will be done and off to the next person he meets at the choral show at the mall. This guy is a loser and you should stay away from him. I don’t care how smart and hot you are. Sorry if that was too blunt.

You are the same age as my little sister and I would in no way approve of her dating a guy that much older than her. It angers me just thinking about it because I am so protective of her. I’d kick his ass!

But be careful with whatever decision you make.

So it sounds like your gut agrees with EVERYONE here, and as almost everyone has stated, go with your gut. Better yet, go with the flutherites! We’re not trying to ruin your fun. We’re trying to help you. So if you want our advice, take it, if not, go ask someone else.

If you’re not sure you like him…..you don’t.

i don’t know what my gut is feeling!!!

If you don’t, how do you expect strangers to? And why would a 22 yr old man be interested in a sophomore in HS?

If your attracted to him physically and mentaly, then it would seem you do like him. The thing is, part of you isnt sure. Thats what they call “gut instincts”. Your gut knows that him being that much older means that it’s a bad idea.

Look, everyone here is in unison that it’s not a good idea to pursue this guy. So I believe that says, you might kind of like him, but you shouldn’t. I think that very well answers your question. Unless, of course, you asked this in order to argue?

Please, please, please give it up Mrs_Dr. he is too old for you!!!!!!!

Tom I was wrong he isn’t 30 he is 22

I think the odds are strongly that you’re attracted to him but would be ill-advised to get romantic with him until you’re a few years older.

Be sure you know your local statutory rape laws.

Also consider your parents are still your guardians and are responsible for you until you are 18.

I’d say if you are still into him at 18, go ahead and ask him out or something, maybe after your prom.

Don’t marry him until you’re at least 24. ;-) If you’re a blissful couple from 18 to 24, go ahead and live happily ever after. Until then, take it easy.

Just suggestions…

2 things for you to consider:

1) watch To Catch a Predator on MSNBC
2) this dilemma you are experiencing is a necessary lesson, one you can hopefully learn sooner than later. I say this because life will probably be full of inappropriate crushes, and we all need to learn self-restraint

One. He is not a predator and I know that for sure. and second. I’ve decided that he is just a fad for me. Tim Curry is the one I truely love and will always love.

Tim Curry is a crush…

no he is my lover : D

Geez, you need more help than I thought…..haha…..just playing around!

nay. no need to play around. I know I need help. My mom is actually getting worried about me. trust me. I am positive that I need help

if he is way too older, (more that 3 years) forget it, you are in for a nasty surprise

It’s too late flameboi

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter reading your threads is like getting rickrolled. Sooner or later it always comes back to Tim Curry. I guess we have all been “Curry rolled” again.:c

rickroll?

Somone please rickroll her. I’m unable too at the moment.

How long have you been using the internets? You’ve never been rickrolled? Do you even know what a LOLcat is?

Visit http://4chan.org specifically /b/ so that you
can learn the secrets of the interwebs while you simultaneously lose faith in the good of humanity.

On second thought, don’t. 4chan is a dangerous place for the inexperienced, especially /b/.

Just because I don’t know what something means doesn’t give you the right to make fun of me.

Actually that’s one of the best forms of humor.

well not for me. Delirium, when you have been bullied and harrassed since KINDERGARDEN it really is hurtful. that is why in the 4th grade I switched schools. Then in 6th grade, I was harrassed so much that I was going to commit suicide. Then in the 7th grade, I went to a Christian school thinking that I could get away from it all. I was wrong. I’m going into my sohpmore year and it is still going on. So please don’t tell me that it is one of the best forms of humor.

By the way, any replies to this I will not be able to answer, because I will be in Spain for like 9 days. It was supposed to be 10 days, but the f-ing airplane had a bad part and the f-ing airport didn’t have a spare. We were also supposed to stop in London, the place where I should be living, for 3 hours (staying in the airport to switch planes to go to Madrid, but non the less it was in London), but now we’re stopping in Paris. Although I think we are stopping in London on the way back. But we have already missed a day in Madrid, and that wa the day that they were doing the tour of it. and we will only be in Madrid for 2 days, and there goes one of them. At least we won’t be late for Barcalona. But still, I’m going to write a letter to them. Any ideas of what to say? This will give people enough time to respond.

Here ya go. a rick roll and a little bonus.

Explain the impact on your plans to the airline, and they may give you something to make up for it. Airlines often give travel vouchers to compensate people.

BTW I had never heard of “rickroll” either – if that helps.

Damn, I really don’t get it either.

Our plane is leaving at 10:05 tonight and bless the LORD we will still be able to stop in London on the way there and back