I emailed my ex and told him I miss him. Big mistake?
I feel so silly… so so silly. I hadn’t contacted my ex since the break up 2 months ago but then I visited his town to catch up with some friends. Walking past the place where he works and all the pubs and restaurants we used to go to made waves of nostalgia wash over me and I ended up emailing him as soon as I got home saying I miss him very much, think about him, wonder how he’s doing and that I hope once enough time has passed that we can be friends, and I will contact him when I feel ready to be friends. (By the way I am the dumper, but to be honest, I feel more like the dumpee. He was neglecting me so I was forced to dump him, and when I dumped him it seemed like he didn’t care.)
At first I was glad I emailed him. I got my feelings out and that felt good. I didn’t want him to misunderstand and think I dumped him because I didn’t care. I wanted him to know he meant something to me. Being honest felt good.
His reply said “Hey T, I will look forward to hearing from you. I’m not going to waffle on but I hope you’re doing well. All the best.”
I sent him another email saying I wish I could be as nonchalant as him with a sad face. He didn’t reply. I poured my heart out to him, and got nothing in return. I shouldn’t have expected anything better than his response really, but I’ll admit it, I was hoping he would say he missed me too. It’s silly, I know… Even if he did say he missed me I know deep down it wouldn’t change anything. We would still be broken up.
If only I stayed strong and didn’t email him… I wanted him to think I was a strong woman who could walk away from someone who didn’t give her what she wanted. I am angry at myself for being weak… How can I turn this around and get my dignity back?