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sirabi's avatar

Tips on flirting through text/messaging?

Asked by sirabi (27 points ) February 5th, 2014

Hi all – I am looking for some tips/advice on how to flirt successfully over text messages with a physical attraction. I naturally use my body language to flirt with a man and it works well, but over text I have no idea what a man likes to hear.

Here is my situation – Months ago, I ended a 4 year relationship. I spent some time to myself and am now ready to start talking to men again. However, I am not ready for any long-term commitments as I am focusing on my career and personal goals. So, there’s this man I’ve been attracted to for quite some time, and he also has recently got out of a relationship. Him and I have always been physically attracted to each other, and we have recently talked about ‘hanging out.’ Now, this is very exciting (but also nerve-wrecking) for me as I have never had a purely physical relationship before. However, I think it would be good for me to just explore, have some fun and not have to worry about commitments for a while – which is great because I know he is looking for the same thing. We don’t know each other on a super personal level, but we have spent time together in the past and know that we are both good people.

So! What I am looking for is some advice on flirting over text/messaging! In person, it is very natural and easy for me to flirt with him, but over the internet it is a whole different story. We do not have the opportunity to see each other much, so to keep the spark alive, it’s necessary for a flirty text here and there, but due to my nerves and uncomfortability with flirting through text – I tend to over think/analyze what I want to say. Also, he is a bit older so I suppose that also intimidates me.

What are some sexy/original things I can say over text to intrigue him/keep him interested? Things that are not typical or cheesy.

Thanks in advance for your time and comments. :)

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9 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Yes, I’m an older woman who doesn’t text, but aside from some cutesy emoticons I suggest you actually talk to the guy on the phone and let your natural charm shine through.
Texting and email can be easily misread and send the wrong message.
Try the old fashioned way of actually speaking with someone voice to voice for best results.

creative1's avatar

Use words to discribe what you would like to be doing with him at the moment if he were with you. Such has kissing and getting in detail how you would kiss him. I will pm you with a few suggestions just remember to try be be discriptive so he will be able to imagine you doing this to him.

gailcalled's avatar

I could give you some suggestions, but then he would be flirting with me and not you.

And given this, due to my nerves and uncomfortability with flirting through text – I tend to over think/analyze what I want to say, I also vote for the old-fashioned phone call. You have the advantage of being able to use tone of voice and other nuances related to speech and not text.

(BYW, uncomfortabilty is not a word. You mean discomfort.)

janbb's avatar

Nothing original about them but saying “miss you” or “thinking of you” are nice, flirty things to say.

gorillapaws's avatar

#1 Rule of flirting via text: refrain from taking obscene pictures of yourself and texting them.

rojo's avatar

Rule #2 – Pay no attention to Rule #1.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Rule #0 – Anything you text, and any picture you send, is “out there” forever.
Do not expose yourself unnecessarily or on a whim.

It is possible to flirt without being obscene.
Take the high road. You’ll sleep better.

josie's avatar

I think he will know you are faking it or being disingenuous.
In which case you can kiss him goodbye- unless he is a moron.
Use one of those little emogi icons of lips.

jca's avatar

Don’t take photos of yourself without clothing (I’ve said it before on this site, that IMHO I believe most people look better with their clothes on anyway). Therefore, it goes without saying you’ll not be sending any photos of yourself without clothes on. Don’t strive to be flirty, strive to be your friendly self. You don’t want to set up any expectations for when you do meet in person that you may not want to follow through on.

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