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jca's avatar

Do you currently hold a grudge (or grudges) against anyone, an individual, group, or corporation? Can you give details?

Asked by jca (29290 points ) April 9th, 2014

Do you hold grudges? If so, do you currently hold a grudge against anybody? Any one particular person, group, corporation?

Can you give details?

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27 Answers

hominid's avatar

I used to hold many grudges. Then I realized that holding the grudge only hurts me. It’s exhausting and useless.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Yes, I do.

Although why I would want to share my personal grudges with the rest of the world – I don’t understand why anyone would want to do that.

filmfann's avatar

There was a guy in Boy Scouts with me who was just awful to me. Last year he wanted to be FaceBook friends, and I accepted him. He was there for a couple months, but I deleted him, because I just found it annoying.
There is my crazy pedophile rapist ex-boss, of whom I have spoken in some detail. I do my best to have a forgiving attitude about him, but I will never trust him, and I suppose that is a failure for my Christian ethic.

Smitha's avatar

No I don’t. Why waste our precious time on them. We must either confront the offender while the feelings are fresh and let them know how we feel at the moment or else let it go and forgive.Reminds me of Buddha’s quote— ‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.’

livelaughlove21's avatar

I wouldn’t say I hold grudges, but there are people I simply don’t like because of an experience I’ve had with them in the past. Where’s the line between disliking someone and holding a grudge?

rojo's avatar

I agree with @hominid. I used to hold grudges when I was younger but now, it just doesn’t seem worthwhile. I try at least.
In my twenties, I would not buy anything from Texaco because of something they did and did not make it right. In the past I have gone for years without ever entering a Walmart, even now I am likely to pay a few cents more elsewhere not to support them but I do not scrupulously avoid them anymore.
And people, well, people are just people. We all screw up from time to time. I try not to dwell on past grievances.

Symbeline's avatar

Nah, although it has nothing to do with life being too short to hold grudges or anything like that, it’s just because hating is a lot of work, and I’m lazy.

Judi's avatar

I won’t shop at Hobby Lobby, IHPOP, or Walmart. Last night I looked up what Casinos Sheldon Addelson owned in order to make sure I never gave him any money. I don’t know if it’s a grudge but I choose to vote with my dollars sometimes.

hominid's avatar

@Judi: “I don’t know if it’s a grudge”

I don’t consider that a grudge. If those companies are currently practicing things you do not want to support, than this seems to be the opposite of a grudge. I think of a grudge as the act of maintaining a hatred or resentment of someone in the past with disregard for their current state.

I have an aunt who is quite angry at another family member for a disagreement they had 8 years ago. These aren’t even the same people anymore. So, my aunt has been carrying around all of this anger and resentment at a person that no longer exists. To make it worse, the person she is angry with has spent the past 8 years attempting to put their disagreements behind them and start anew.

This is what I consider a grudge. It’s rooted in delusion and maintained through great effort. I find that letting go of my anger allows me to periodically check in with people and allow our current selves to meet, opening up the possibility for healing and possibly new ways of relating to each other that are more healthy for everyone involved.

Judi's avatar

@hominid , Is your aunt my sister? lol

JLeslie's avatar

I am pretty disgusted with my house builder right now, especially the salesperson they are making me use as their liaison. I don’t usually hold onto anger too long, I am already converting my anger into punishing myself for seeing the red flags and not doing something about it.

My SIL I don’t necessarily hold a grudge, but I no longer trust her with my feelings. In a way it is a grudge. I am not going to get over what she did to me ever. She gave me the cold shoulder and silent treatment for years and I find that sort of passive aggressive style disgusting. She simply dragged a disagreement out too long. It is me of the very few things I have trouble forgiving in life.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

“Beware.

I bear more grudges.

Than lonely high court judges…”

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

I don’t hold grudges against people. I have known a few people who have “done me wrong” but to me they are dead and don’t exist anymore. I never even think about them.

I do boycott products though. I would rather eat worms than purchase Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and I won’t allow Pepsi in my home. Heinz Ketchup I will purchase for other members of my home but no way will I even touch the stuff. I use the power of the purse.

Also I rarely go to movies that star actors I don’t care for. When they open their mouth politically they insult a big portion of the paying population. These idiots never learn to just “shut up and act”.

muppetish's avatar

Hm. I think this depends on what you consider a “grudge”. There are plenty of people that I have cut out of my life for what I perceive to be good reasons, but I don’t actively hold ill feelings toward them. I don’t think that hatred is a healthy emotion to exercise daily. However, if those people waltzed back into my life, I doubt that I would welcome them back.

Seek's avatar

Well, I stopped shopping at K-Mart when I realised that in over 20 years I had never made it through the checkout line without a price check or having to have a receipt corrected.

Is that a grudge?

I wouldn’t count my choosing not to shop at Hobby Lobby or eat at Chick-fil-A as a “grudge”, it’s more a calculated boycott.

I haven’t spoken to my mother in almost seven years. Call it a grudge if you want, these have been the best years of my life.

Coloma's avatar

Nope, zero, unless you consider holding a grudge against this f——ked up economy. haha
Even then, not really a grudge, just more a sense of disgust and discouragement, which takes a lot for me, being of an enthusiastic and optimistic mindset 90% of the time.
Being an extrovert I let go of things pretty easily. in my experience the worst grudge holders are passive aggressive types. Grudge holding is like hate, it eats you alive from the inside out.

ragingloli's avatar

Yes. The human species must be ended.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

^No.

Because 100% of theoretical physicists, cosmologists and in fact all scientists are humans, not cats.

Winter_Pariah's avatar

Yes, there are some family members I hold grudges against as well as some against myself. Other than that, there’s nothing nor anyone I really hold a grudge against.

But I do boycott the shit out of Nestle

Dan_Lyons's avatar

No, I try to never hold a grudge. It just makes a place in your heart where you cannot hold love. Holding negativity seems a foolish preoccupation to me, when we already have so little time for love.

That being said. I know people who have held grudges for more than 20 years, and these are some of the most miserable people you will ever have the misfortune to meet.

Kropotkin's avatar

Yes, and I am plotting revenge on you all.

Blondesjon's avatar

Yes I do and no I can’t.

talljasperman's avatar

I’m holding a grudge against myself for all my problems.

Blackberry's avatar

Yes, but I’m not drunk enough to get into it.

rojo's avatar

@Blackberry keep working on it

prairierose's avatar

I try not to hold grudges because it is unhealthy both physically and emotionally. If someone has made me angry, for example, I try to explain why I am angry, get the hurt talked about and then forgive and forget. Everyone is human and makes mistakes, no one is perfect, remembering that, makes it easier to forgive and not hold a grudge.

talljasperman's avatar

Most of the people who I hold a grudge on have gotten cancer and died. Karma’s a bitch.

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