Does having no one to help you when you're unwell say more about you or the people around you?
I had surgery two and a half weeks ago and I have some pretty rigid restrictions on what I’m allowed to do. No bending or stooping or squatting, no lifting more than 10lbs, among others. This makes day to day life pretty challenging, since I am not able to do a lot of “normal” things with restrictions like that.
However, no one at all has come by to offer a hand with things that might need done. My husband, who works 6 days a week and often 10+ hours per day, has been trying to keep up with the house and the pets and the yard work, and it’s simply too much for one person to do with as much as he works.
A garbage can was knocked over in my kitchen like 5 days ago and although I picked it up, my kitchen floor hasn’t been washed in two weeks, and it is very dirty. I have asked three people if they might come by and just give it a quick wash or run the sweeper for me (or both would be amazing) but even though they all said they would, no one has actually come. I think the last time someone was “supposed” to come was 4 days ago.
I have hesitated to even ask for help since immediately after surgery because I feel this overwhelming sense that no one actually wants to, plus it feels weird to depend on people to do mundane crap for me. Maybe that’s normal? It happened the last time I had surgery, no one offered to help me, in fact both of these recent surgeries have left me feeling extremely rushed to heal. This has lead to me doing way more than I am supposed to be doing, long before I am “allowed.”
Does that say more about me or the people around me? Do I just have unhelpful friends and family or I am crazy to think that people might help with that sort of thing and in reality when someone has a health concern they just accept having garbage ooze on the kitchen floor? Has anyone had a similar experience? I am so stressed out about this.