I don’t usually get very angry. When I do, I tend to call or tell a friend who will understand the situation (for work issues, there are people who understand that, and for personal issues, meaning usually issues with my parents, I have friends who understand that).
Sometimes I try to do something distracting, like going to a library or taking a ride. I don’t usually get really angry and so this is generally not an issue.
If I am angry at a person, I will debate whether it will be beneficial for me to discuss this with the person. If I determine it is, I will bring it up to them, if I haven’t already told them off at the time I first got pissed. I would rather discuss this with the person than let the anger fester.
Managing emotions is tough for many. For me much depends on the reason why I might be angry. As I’ve matured it is easier to take the time to go for a walk, take deep breaths, and contemplate why I might feel the way I do. In doing so I’ve learned the reason behind being angry is because I care about something or someone.
The key in managing this is to recognize the physiological changes your body experiences when emotions start to get the better of you – tenseness in your body, shallow breathing, increase in heartbeat, etc. are some of the physiological responses – if you notice this happening then try to relax, breath more deeply, and put the situation into perspective. This is often easier said than done, but being self aware helps lead to being more emotionally intelligent and increases productive conflict resolution.
In the heat of the moment, I try to take a step back and some deep breaths. After the fact, to purge anger I yell or roar – a version of primal scream I was doing in my early teens before I’d even heard of primal scream. I also sing angry songs at the top of my lungs – Alice In Chains’ early records got me through my divorce and still serve me well, even though I rarely get that pent up anymore.
I have a love/hate relationship with my mother. She constantly gives me unwanted advice (you should, you could, you might just are a few examples). I asked a question on here once, and the responses I got were mainly that I should appreciate her and how others wish their mothers were still alive. OK I get that, but still, to be my age and hear what I should do and could do is hard to tolerate. Yet she can be very helpful, so I can’t discount that.
Well it’s a long story and you asked so here, and sorry if I forget to space a comma now and then, so on the dash of most transport trucks the manufacturer includes several switches that do nothing , these switches are for when you want to wire in accessories, extra light and so forth that sort of thing,and you don’t have to drill the dash to add a switch, now comes to why I brought these switches up, these dead switches are my make believe heat seeking side winder missiles, so when some brain dead driver does something stupid I flip the switch and I see a missile going out and blowing up the idiot, no one is really hurt and calms me right down and puts a smile on my face, sorry if it’s childish but I can’t just stop and go for a walk, I can’t run them down, so make believing a missile takes them out seems to work, well you asked and now you know, sorry for the run on sentence.
It depends on who I am angry at and what the circumstances are in the situation. If I am angry at a family member we usually have an argument, right then and there. If we are angry at one another both sides know it, we don’t stuff the anger. Then once the argument is over we usually distance our selves from one another. Then later, coming back together and actually, talking , communicating, and usually coming to a mutual agreement.
If I am angry at a co-worker for example, I try to be a bit more diplomatic. I will walk away, go about my work, think about whether I should say something to the one who made me angry or just let it go. If I decide that I need to confront the person, I will. It will be in private and the person will know exactly why I am angry. Usually, things go well and we end up laughing with one another.