Social Question

zenzen's avatar

If your kids are in their twenties, how close do you keep them?

Asked by zenzen (2987 points ) 3 weeks ago

Of course it depends on geography, but also emotionally; how close do you keep them versus how close are they or do they want to be?

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9 Answers

zenzen's avatar

Of course, if you have teens you may reply – it just feels different now that they are in their twenties and adults.

downtide's avatar

My daughter is 25 and she moved out just over a year ago, she now has a flat she shares with her boyfriend, which is about 2 miles away. I see her about once a week and inbetween we keep in touch by text message and Facebook. I think I’m closer emotionally with her now than I was when she was still living here.

longgone's avatar

From the opposite perspective…I see my mother daily, and my father about once a week. I don’t spend time with my mother on a daily basis, often we just say hello in passing. I’d say I see her for longer periods of time maybe once a week, tops.

thorninmud's avatar

Both of my kids are far-flung (one one the opposite side of continent, one abroad). This is the phase of parenting that I find most fulfilling: seeing how they navigate the world on their own. This is what we put so much effort into preparing them for, now it’s showtime. I love this.

So basically, I don’t want closeness in the form of having constant input into their lives (their mom is struggling with that). I want the occasional update, enough that I can know how things are going for them. Thank goodness for Skype. A couple of Skype chats per week and I’m good.

I suspect things may change if/when grand kids enter the picture.

LuckyGuy's avatar

It’s genetic. Some of us are only as happy as our least happy child.

filmfann's avatar

My kids are in their 20’s and 30’s. I try to talk to them once a week, and welcome more.
When we are in town, which is about every other month, I try to take them out to dinner.

janbb's avatar

Each of my sons live very far away and is in his thirties. With the one I am closest to, we text or talk on the phone every week to 10 days. I see him about three or four times a year. With my other son, it is almost entirely on his schedule and it can be weeks or sometimes months between hearing from him. I see him and his family maybe once a year.

hearkat's avatar

My 23-year-old son lives with me, by choice. We are close, emotionally, but function fully independently of one another. I respect him as an adult, and he is respectful of my fiancé and me. He pays us rent and pays his own bills. He comes and goes as he pleases, and can have overnight guests.

rojo's avatar

My youngest is 26. We just went camping for a week with her and my grandaughter. We stay pretty close. My wife and daughter run together twice a week and so we usually end up having supper together.

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