If a girl you weren't related to had her first period on your watch, would you instruct to use a Tampax (and explictly explain it) or give her a Kotex?

I’d hand her a Kotex. Then I’d contact her folks and have them talk her through it the tampon bit. Telling a teen how to use a tampon needs to be done by her mother, big sister or doctor! No exceptions.

I’d rather give her a pad and advise her to go home and come back when it’s over.

My Mom gave me Kotex. I figured out the Tampax thing myself.

That would be bummer for the kid @Sneki2. I can understand why she couldn’t swim (unless she was using a Tampax) but it sounds like there were probably other things she could participate in, like the sleep over.

I would hand her a pad and let her figure out tampons in her own way. Maybe her mother or physician can teach her how to use a tampon, or perhaps she’ll learn from reading the instructions (that’s what I did). I wouldn’t want to step-in as her instructor.

I learned from a girlfriend.

Gee, a spur of the moment decision and not a store in sight. I’d say Kleenex.

Oh. No! Layers and layers of paper towels just to buy time to get to the store, but not Kleenex!

Who made up this crazy rule anyway? Nope, not my job, I would give her a pad and tell her to talk to her mother about using Tampons.

I’d give her a pad personally, but in this situation they probably have to give tampons because it’s a swimming camp.

At least Kleenex rhymes with the other two…

(You’re right, @Dutchess_III , paper towels would work better, if available. I only have toilet paper in my vehicle, if no Kleenex…)

I would scold her somewhat as well. After all, she should have known that her period would/could start soon and she (and her mother) wasn’t prepared???

^ Periods start differently for different women. It’s possible that no one expected her to get a period.
And how is it her fault anyways?

I specified “Her first period….”

@kritiper Periods are not regular when you first start, and not necessarily regular throughout life.
I’m sure she was horrified anyway, why scold her?

I had no clue, none, that my first period was coming on. My first thought was that I had pooped my pants, so I changed and went back out to play. When I came in it was there again and it scared me. I went to my Mom. I had no idea what it was. Yes, we’d had a meeting of all the girls in 6th grade (my neighbor boy had eves dropped on it and teased me unrelentingly on the bus about it for 6 months,) but I still wasn’t prepared when it hit 2 years later.
I can’t imagine the trauma of having to go to a counselor…and to get scolded when I did? No.

If it’s so common, is there not a plan for it? Like in the councilor’s handbook or something….

There’s probably a chapter, or something about a fire,or emergency. First periods would be more common….

If what is so common?

^In the details, it says the camp counselor had to deal with first periods every summer….

True story: I was in 7th grade and at summer camp for 2 weeks. I started and knew I had to finish my swim lessons that day. I told another camper and she talked me through the bathroom door how to insert a tampon. I apparently did it wrong. I lost it in the pool. I was mortified and refused to go back to the pool. I had to tell my counselor and she said the male counselor found it.

I guess I would prefer the girl call her mother, or guardian.

I think some religions forbid certain types/methods. Rare in America, but some things to consider too….

Oh @chyna. How very awful. I’m so sorry.

I don’t know that it’s “common.” It would depend on how many girls total the counselor had over the summer. 1 out of 200 or 300 total isn’t common.

And it isn’t rocket science. We don’t need manuals to tell us what to do.

I would imagine they’d call the parents and explain that if the girl wanted to finish the swim camp she’d have to use a Tampax. I assume they’d get permission.

I would give her a kotex. The tampon is for someone else to explain to her, like her mom, sister, aunt. Some parents don’t want their kids using tampons, at least not right away, so the pad is a safer bet. If the girl wanted to call her mother and figure something else out, that’s ok too. Meanwhile I guess she can’t swim.

I’d call the parents regardless

Deary me. Some of these responses seem so behind the times that it is sad.

Considering that almost every female goes through menstrual cycles, why should it be a taboo subject or one left to a guardian to explain? It’s scary to suddenly find blood stains on ones’ panties. We should all have an open and healthy attitude regarding this biological process. If a female’s cycle starts before it has been discussed by the guardian, then whoever is “on watch” should do so.

If in the counsellor’s position, it seems like a matter of just assuring the girl that this is normal and natural and provide a pad, if available. Then it’s a matter of finding out how much they know, putting them at ease, and educating the camper on what they need to know.

The issue was whether a counselor should advise a girl to use a tampon for the first time, and explain how to use it.

I’m sure they always have pads and tampons on hand. What a nightmare for everyone, especially the child, if they didn’t.

@chyna I said somewhat. Chide her a little maybe but not be too harsh on her is what I meant.

Chide her for WHAT?? She could be 10 or 11 years old and completely unprepared.

Chide her for getting her period?

Above he said the mom and the child should know it was going to happen! But not the dad I guess.

For being unprepared. Granted the situation of being without needed supplies can’t cover 100% of the age possible variations 100% of the time, but assuming the girl was the appropriate age for it to start.

A girl can start any where from 5 to 18 to never.

And that would be 100% of the age possible variations. All you can do for her, in any situation, at any age, is your best.

Chiding her would just be cruel.

Kotex makes tampons. I don’t understand using the brand Kotex synonymously with sanitary napkins.

I’d give her a sanitary napkin initially. If she was going to be swimming or doing a sport I would definitely give her the option of tampons and be willing to explain it.

Wow, you can really tell the genders of the people answering this question.

Do you think the parents should be involved @JLeslie?

Right @dappled_leaves?

I would have no problem talking to a young girl having her first period, giving her a pad, but I would not want to try and guide her into her first experience using a tampon. I wouldn’t feel it was my place as I was not her mother and her mother might not want her young daughter using tampons yet.

My thoughts too @Coloma. Unless the parents gave permission.

Even if it’s not the first period the question of advising about tampins can come up. A girl’s mom might not have counseled her daughter on tampons or how to use them, and you can be in a situation where you might have to decide whether to help a girl with it.

A 14 year old exchange student was staying with me for two and a half weeks. One day she said she had to go to the store to buy stuff for her period. I helped her, because her English was good not great, and shelves full of product can be overwhelming. I asked her if she wanted pads or tampins, she said she only needed pads. I knew we had a lot of activities coming up, including swimming. From what she said I figured out she already had tampons in the house. If she hadnt, I would have asked her if she wanted to try a tampon no question in my mind. She loved doing everything, and I couldn’t imagine her sitting out of activities because of her period.

I really don’t care if a mother doesn’t want her daughter using tampons. Unless the girl is from some crazy extreme culture where she will be stoned to death it’s absurd in my opinion. Tampons are one of my top 5 inventions of the 20th century.

We’ll that would piss me off if I were her parents @JLeslie, to not at least be consulted.
And why is it always the mother who is brought up?

In this litigious world in which we live, I would never ever give a first time teen a tampon. All you need is an unbalanced parent with an axe to grind and you’re in it up to your neck.

Even a balanced parent might have a problem with it. There are a lot of decisions that should be left to the parents including getting piercings.

Interesting thought…do you think a father would have a bigger problem with it than a mother?

I once asked Mom why she didn’t tell me about Tampax. She said she just wasn’t sure if my 12 year old body could accept a Tampex without hurting me.
I eventually figured it out for myself any way.

LOL clueless man here has NFI, sorry. I would try to be supportive as best I could, but I know little and have little knowledge and no first-hand opinions to offer.

If you had a daughter would you want another adult to instruct her about using a Tampax @Zaku? Without consulting you?

I would give her a pad. Her mom can take it from there.

A pad. Never a tampon. Tampons are very uncomfortable for virgins. I’m assuming she is one since she just had her cycles. Plus some parents would be pissed about that.

@Pied_Pfeffer In the world where people take liberties with other people children and you never know what you are going to be accused of doing, it is best to leave any and all matters relating to sexual body parts or functions to the parents. Also, being that everyone just about has cell phones and easy access to calling them, they should be called. Now, if they can’t be reached then, the pad is probably the least objection from parents.

You never know how a parent will feel about tampons, or to have some stranger explain it to their daughter.
It’s because we live in such a perverse world today, that parents are justifiably paranoid.

@Pandora 13 year old virgins all over the world use tampons comfortably. If their hymen isn’t already broken the tampon might do it. What do you think those girls in swim team and gymnastics are doing when they have their period?

@Dutchess_III The girl would know for herself if she was comfortable using the tampon or not. Why would a mom not want her daughter to use a tampon? I can only think of two reasons. Puritanical or some sort of health thing.

Most likely, if a girl started her period under my care, I would call the mom to let her know, or the girl would want to call her mom and let her know anyway. The first time I got my period I didn’t know what was going on, because it was so light the first couple of times. It was my second period that I showed my mom and she told me she thought it must be my period. I told her it happened last month too, so that cinched it. I knew what a period was, but I expected it to be different.

My mom told me how to use a tampon a few months later I think when my period was heavier and lasting 7 days.

It’s not like I would be pushing tampins on the girl, it would depend on the situation.

A relative of mine in her 30’s made a comment during a conversation that she can feel her tampon when she wears one. Basically, in her mid thirties, finally, someone told her (me) that she doesn’t have it in deep enough. She told me her mother would never have let her wear tampons, let alone tell her about them when she was a girl (I assume that’s what happened to @chyna, not deep enough). I know my relative had sex before marriage, it’s not like she was following the virgin rules of her Catholic mother. I don’t know when she actually started wearing tampons, but my guess is fairly young, despite her mom, and her lack of knowing what she was doing.

My mom wasn’t puritanical but I used pads and she used tampons. I started using tampons on my own when I was in my late teens. Still, I think I used pads most of the time out of habit.

I don’t think any girl who gets her first period should be chided for not being prepared. Girls can get it as young as 9 as explained by @Dutchess_III. Is the girl supposed to carry supplies around with her from age 9 on, everywhere she goes?

@jca Yeah, I don’t understand the chided thing? Chided for what?

@Pandora Thanks. What you said is understandable and should be considered. The challenge is that, even in this time, a guardian may still not have discussed this natural body function with their ward. It would be a shame to not at least provide basic information that would put the child at ease about what is happening to her body.

My sister teaches 10–11 years old students in a public school. Over her career, two of the students were pregnant. (One had the child, the other had an abortion). I’ll ask her if she has been in the counsellor’s situation, and if so, what she did, and if there are any guidelines provided by the school administration.

I haven’t read all the responses here, so maybe someone has said this already, but this was a story told by a camp counselor. It’s not like a parent/teacher relationship, it’s more like an older/younger sibling relationship, and… they’re in the woods. I’m not a parent, but I can’t imagine getting upset at a counselor who offered this kind of help under the circumstances.

Also, I think some of the advice being given here would create trauma where there doesn’t need to be any. Obviously, “chiding” the kid is nothing short of stupid. But acting like this is a situation that requires a hazmat suit and a call to her mother is also not good, I think. If the parent did not prepare her for this eventuality (and some parents don’t, at all), the kid could probably use a little help from a different perspective.

If I were in the camp counselor’s situation—every box of tampons I’ve ever used has come with a little page of instructions, and the page of instructions usually has some very useful diagrams. So I would be sure to have that handy. The girl will probably still have questions—I did after reading it the first time, because reading something is one thing, and trying it is another—but it will probably clear up a lot of the confusion she’s having, and will be helpful when trying to describe the process through a bathroom door.

I have to put another boot firmly in the “please no chiding” camp. Getting your period for the first time is often confusing and embarrassing even if you’ve had health ed in school, and even if your mom has talked to you about these things. It’s different getting it than hearing about it, especially when it’s a surprise in the middle of a school day—or camp experience—(and not, as the health ed video may had led you to believe, when you wake up in the morning on an uneventful day with your mother there to help you figure this out.)

Getting a period is something that should be celebrated as another step towards womanhood, and also talked about as something that is entirely ordinary, no big deal (half the population has, had, or will have them, after all). Based on my own experience, a celebratory ice cream treat works well.

Also, it shouldn’t matter if this is her first time or not. No chiding, period (pun intended). I’ve had random women come up to me and discreetly ask if I have any pads or tampons in libraries or stores, for any number of reasons—I never ask because it doesn’t really matter why—maybe their period was early, or maybe they were busy and forgot to grab an extra pad/tampon in the morning, or maybe it was heavier than it usually is and they’ve already run out, or maybe they thought they had a stash of pads/tampons in their purse and only then realized they were out, or realize they loaned their last one to their sister/roommate/friend/a stranger the day before, etc. Heck, I’ve been one of those women. There is nothing anyone can say that is more of a deterrent than the possibility of leaking, and that I haven’t already told myself. No additional chiding required, no matter how many periods a woman has or hasn’t had up to that point. Just help a sister out!

I’m just not finding the answer in the thread—is the chiding about being unprepared? That’s just ridiculous!

@JLeslie: @kritiper said “For being unprepared. Granted the situation of being without needed supplies can’t cover 100% of the age possible variations 100% of the time, but assuming the girl was the appropriate age for it to start.”

^^Oh.

I hate using the word stupid, but that is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Especially, if we are talking about a first time, let alone tomorrow I might find myself needing a tampon that I forgot to bring along with me in my purse, and that would be the 375th time I’ve had my period, give or take a time. WTH?!

I was googling to see what the internet said about the average age a girl usually uses a tampon for the first time, and one thing I read on a Kotex website said something about waiting until the girl asks about them. That’s ridiculous in my mind. I didn’t know what a tampon was until my mom told me, and I had education in school in 5th grade about menstruation, and I knew my mom had her period at times, and I just basically wasn’t completely oblivious, but still was unaware of that option until someone told me. My mom had a box of them right there in the bathroom closet, and I didn’t know. I never was curious about it.

And she’d have to carry a pad with her everywhere between age 9 and 19, until her first period came, @JLeslie

@JLeslie the decisions the parents make trumps any decision you would make. If you contacted the parents and they said, “No,” then that’s final. It does not matter their reasons why. It does not matter if you think it’s stupid. Unless their decision is going to endanger the child, and you can prove it in court, you are bound by law to abide by their decision.

@Pandora I was using Tampons when I was a virgin. (I also find it interesting that you assume the girl is a virgin when she has her first period!)

@kritiper also thought the mother (not the father) should be held accountable for not knowing that their daughter is going to start on some random day she happens to be at swim camp. Why would the mother magically know, but not the father?

Maybe some guys here don’t understand that there really isn’t any warning that you’re getting ready to have your period, at least nothing that a girl would recognize.
When I was about 17 I finally got in tune with my body enough to recognize the extremely subtle things going on that indicated that I might start my period within the next couple of hours.
Also, mine was very regular, every 28 days. Boom.
Most woman are not that regular.

@Dutchess_III I think its crazier to assume that all 12 or 13 year old may not be virgins. Also that the hymen isn’t still attached. Virginity aside. Many young people become lazy about cleaning out tampons at a proper time and it can lead to problems.I never like tampons myself nor did I ever have it for my daughter. As absent minded as she was, I dread to think of the petri dish of germs she would’ve incubated. The way I see it. Your period is meant to flow outside of your body. Not collected inside, left to fester.God, I’m glad I don’t get a cycle any more.

Ideally, this situation would come up frequently enough at a swim camp for young women that permission would be given or withheld as part of camp enrollment. It should be a matter of routine to check the form. I would think for many girls to be sidelined from swimming for a first period might be more traumatic than using a tampon. Inserting one is not the same as inserting a penis but it would be ideal if there were a permission form. This could be a part of the health forms that I’m sure parents need to fill out.

I think most probably are virgins @Pandora. But whether or not they’ve had their periods certainly has nothing to do with it.
I’ve dealt with that same stuff before…don’t want to go into detail, but I’m amazed that a couple of times I didn’t wind up with septic shock!

Somehow I don’t think it is brought up ahead of time @janbb. Maybe we could check that out.
I’m pretty sure only a very, very small percent of girls have their FIRST period in such situations.
Inserting a tampon is not traumatic, really. Kind of weird, maybe, but not so traumatic. But it’s still a decision that needs to be made with the parents, not the decision of a random camp counselor, no more than it would be the decision of a school nurse.
In my case, a friend told me about it, so I checked it out at my leisure, in private. It would be traumatic to know that someone else knew all about it, even as it was happening.

@Dutchess_III On 99% of things I defer to parents, but on this, if I felt like the girl would miss out on activities, because of her period, I would tell her about the tampons. By the time I had my period I had already broken my hymen. The idea of putting something inside of me was not foreign, so I wasn’t apprehensive. A girl who is apprehensive might very well reject the tampon option. That’s up to her in my opinion. Just like her mom isn’t in the room when the girl is masterbating, her mom doesn’t have to be in the room if she inserts a tampon. I would take age into account. A 9 year old I might deem not responsible enough, because it’s important to remove it within 8 hours. Although, God knows I’ve forgotten about my tampon more than once even as an adult. If there was no need for a tampon, I probably wouldn’t mention it. My period by the third cycle lasted 7 days! Two weeks at camp that would be half of my camp time.

It would be interesting to hear from some camp counselors and/or camp nurses to hear what they do, and if the camp has a policy about it. Not a click bait camp counselor, but one that someone actually knows. A good friend of mine is a nurse and has done nursing for a camp but I’m not sure if it was a co-ed camp, or just for boys.

@jca That would be interesting. I think @janbb made a good point about maybe addressing it up front with parents as part of the basic paperwork for the camp. Although, I wouldn’t want the camp to be responsible if a girl borrowed or snuck in tampons, and the parents were against it. I just have a real problem with parents who forbid tampons. I feel like it’s on the level of keeping girls covered from head to toe, expecting them to be asexual, and forbidding them to participate in sports. Menstruation should not put a girl at a disadvantage to participating in life. She should have the choice.

Well, as a parent, I would be totally pissed off for not being in on the discussion @JLeslie. Not because I am a prude, but because all this this pretty important stuff happened and I wasn’t informed.
I would be pissed.
And again, it does not matter what you think. Her parents might agree with you, they might not. But it’s their call. Not yours.

@jca I’m 99% sure that any actual school nurse, or trained camp counselor, would talk with the parents before they did anything. But lets throw some feelers out there, shall we?

@Dutchess_III: I agree with you. I’m curious what, if any, conversations the camps have either before the kid is dropped off or after the fact (if she gets her period on the camp’s watch).

This is a bit tricky! How do we find out?

One question @JLeslie: If you DID talk to the parents and they said, “No tampons,” would you tell the child to do it anyway, based on all the reasons you listed?

I know I had no interest in using Tampons when I was 12 and started my periods. I didn’t attempt to use a Tampon until after I became sexually active at 16 and even then, I only used a Tampon towards the end of my period if I wanted to go swimming. Never liked them, always used pads. I don;t think it’s healthy to block the menstrual flow for days on end and, I always had heavy flow the first few days so didn’t feel a Tampon was as adequate for protection from accidents as a pad.

I’ll have to ask my daughter when she started using Tampons but she always used pads too when she was young. She started her periods at 11 and a half. I don’t even remember asking her if she wanted to try a Tampon, quite frankly but I never bought them for her.

And the parents might have that same reason for not wanting their child to use a tampon. But, according to @JLeslie, they can be dismissed because she doesn’t feel that way.

I started my period at about 12. Was totally so not ready. I hated it. But when my friend told me about tampons, about 2 years later, and I tried it, I was super relieved. SO much more convenient than pads. I didn’t have to worry about what I could and couldn’t do.
Don’t know if I ever told my Mom. I’m sure she figured it out pretty quick, but she never said anything.
Wait…if I didn’t tell her, why did I always have them on hand, in my house???
I forget. Long time ago.

^^You were relieved. That’s my point. Why hadn’t your mom told you about tampons? I’m not assuming she was a prude or anything, simply some moms don’t use them themselves, don’t bother to talk about these things with their daughter, or think they are unhealthy.

Like I said, I almost always defer to the parents, but with tampons I just have a mental block I guess.

I was relieved. I am not all girls.
You can’t just take away the parent’s rights like that @JLeslie.

I have another question for you…if you spoke to the parents and they said, “No tampon,” would you do it anyway?

I want to add you don’t stop your period when you use tampons. The blood is still shedding from the uterus, you just capture it in the vagina rather than outside the vagina. I don’t like putting girls on pills that stop their periods for months, that to me is still unknown territory for long term effects.

Duh.

@Dutchess_III If they said no tampons it would not sit with me well to go against them, but I likely have not spoken to them.

I’d probably ask the parents why? See what their concern is. Try to reason with them.

If the girl was under 15 I’d probably go with what the parents want. 16 and older I would maybe still tell the 16 year old the tampons exist, and let her decide.

If a 16 year old came to me needing birth control I’d probably help her get to a planned parenthood even if the parents were against any bc and the girl seemed determined to have sex, or already was having sex.

Edit: it’s not black and white, it would depend on the specific girl, the specific parents, and the specific situation.

I would not want you to be the guardian of any of my kids for any amount of time.

^^Do you even have a problem with your teenager using tampons if all of her friends are swimming and she wants to swim? My guess is you’re fine with it. I’m not talking about if I tell her, or if you do. I’m just asking you, are you ok with her using a tampon?

I agree that with very young girls I would be hesitant. My original thought was teenagers. I realize girls can get their period very young though. I think most girls use tampons by age 14, but I really don’t know. It would be interesting to know. Most girls I know anyway. Including the girl that just stayed with me, my niece, myself, my friends. When I was in school we mostly borrowed tampons from each other if we needed something, not pads.

So, you had a friend tell you about them, another teenager. I think an adult would be more likely to emphasize the dangers associated with tampons, and the importance of removing within several hours of putting them in, and to change them once done swimming.

No. I would not have a problem with it. But the fact that you would even consider removing me from the equation is a BIG problem.

Well back in the early 80’s there was the Toxic Shock Syndrome scare from Tampon use. I always just felt it is better to not plug up the dam, so to speak and allow bacteria to grow around the Tampon and congealed menses for hours on end. I used tampon for an hour or two if swimming, as I mentioned, but they grossed me out. I also had several friends that forgot they had a tampon in and ended up having infections and having to have a doctor remove the putrified tampon.

Disgusting! Now I am really curious to ask my daughter if I ever gave her the tampon option or when she started using them. I don’t remember, it’s been like 17–18 years now. I do remember giving my daughter all of my leftover feminine protection products after the menopause. The circle of life. LOL

That was in the 70’s too. I first heard about it in college. I wondered how in the hell a woman could actually “lose” a tampon! But then, you know. Shit happens. And I found out.

@Dutchess_III Maybe it was the 70’s, but yeah.

The TSS scare was Rely Tampons. It was a real problem. Playtex, Kotex, Tampax, and other brands, had already had tampons on the market for years with almost no bad incidents. Rely used different materials that were more absorbent, and there were way too many illnesses and even deaths from the product.

@Dutchess_III I’m just curious, how do you feel about the laws that require parent notification for abortions?

WHAT does that have to do with a girl’s first period?

If my daughter was pregnant I would want to know.

@Dutchess_III It’s only related in the sense that I was curious if you vote against parent notification for something pretty significant like an abortion, but then get incensed if an adult tells your daughter about tampons. Most liberals are against parent notification, but even some liberals vote for it.

Are you saying you think I would get incensed about another adult telling my daughter about tampons?

^^It sounds that way.

Mind you, I want to clarify, if a girl got her first period under my care I would tell her to call her mom to let her know, or I would tell the girl I’d let her mom know. I realize that’s a special event for a lot of people. If she were very young it might be concerning. I remember my mom told my aunt, and my aunt called me to wish me Mazel Tov. I wished she hadn’t done that, it was embarrassing, and more attention than I wanted. Generally, I took things like this in stride as a kid.

@JLeslie Is the idea of parental involvement about decisions being made on behalf of their child that utterly foreign to you? It’s not about what I, personally, would think. It’s about what the parents of any girl would think. It’s their responsibility. I know you think you’re pretty smart, but that does not give you the right to make certain decisions on behalf of other people’s children.
I, personally, would be incensed to have my daughter return home, having started her period and having been instructed on how to use tampons, without my knowledge and participation in the decision. It has nothing to do with whether I would approve or disapprove of the use of tampons.

Can you understand that?

I completely understand. I’m not an idiot.

You think the parent should be asked before telling a girl about tampons. I get it.

I don’t think I’m so smart. That isn’t it. It has nothing to do with being smart or not.

You couldn’t have understood because you got the idea I would be incensed if my daughter used a tampon.

@Dutchess_III Why wouldn’t you (or anyone else) get that idea? My mom did.

I don’t understand your comment @kritiper.

@Dutchess_III No, I understood you’re upset that I might not consult with a parent about whether they were ok with tampons. I’m pointing out to you you’re fine with tampons so it’s a nonissue for you, so why make it an issue? You were glad when someone explained tampons to you, and they did not ask your mom about it first. You were “relieved.”

You still don’t understand. This is not about me, and what I think is appropriate and what is not. You have no idea where I stand on the issue.

Most importantly, it’s not about you and what you think is appropriate and what is not.

This is about the parents and what they feel is appropriate.

This is about keeping parents out of the loop of things that are going on in their children’s lives, and having some say-so in how it’s handled. That is so wrong. That’s the part you can’t seem to wrap your mind around. The parent’s thoughts on certain situations are more important than yours. No matter how much you may disagree, or think they’re stupid, it’s not your call.

And the person who told me about tampons was not an adult, who should know to contact my parents before giving me advice. It was my best friend.

You also made an assumption about why I was “relieved.” I hadn’t even heard of tampons. I was relieved to know there was such an invention because up to that point I was out of commission for about 4 days out of the month and that sucked.

A couple of kids keeping parents in the dark is not the same as an adult keeping parents in the dark.

Do you understand what the actual “issue” is now?

Let’s put the shoe on the other foot. You send your daughter to stay with someone for 2 weeks. You’ve talked to your daughter about periods and all of her options.
While she’s there she starts her period. Her guardian is vehemently opposed to girls that age using tampons, meaning the child has to sit out of some of the events that were planned.
The guardian doesn’t bother to call you to discuss this.

Now do you think your opinion, as the child’s parent, is more important than the guardian’s?

@Dutchess_III I think you need to let this go now, really. haha

It just frustrates me the think that there are adults out there who believe their opinion is the only one that counts when it comes to other people’s children. That’s what I’m trying to get through to her.

^^Ugh. I completely understand you’re bothered that the parent is out of the loop. Believe me, I have understood all along.

Just like I don’t want some Christian woman preaching to my Jewish kids just because they are under her care. I get it I get it I get it. I always understood your objection.

I asked you a question about you, to know your answer. That’s it. There is no mystery about it.

I asked you about abortion out of curiosity to see how consistent you are on this sort of thing. Not as a gotcha question, but just curiosity. You never answered that question of mine.

For me, using a tampon should be an option that is not a big deal (again I would take into consideration the age and maturity of the girl) so it just simply isn’t a big deal. if you think it should be a big deal then fine that’s what you think. I don’t call up the mom every time I need to decide what food to feed their kid, or whether she is ok if we go swimming, or to show. Although, I generally do let the parents know the basic itinerary and things we might do.

The girl who just stayed here, I specifically got parental permission for zip lining, Karting, but not for tubing (the slow tubing where you just ride a slow current down a river on an individual large inner tube) and I certainly wouldn’t have for suggesting tampons to the girl. That’s just how I think about it. It really depends on the kid. This girl flew across the Atlantic to spend time in America. The parents don’t know all activities that will happen, but they trust the student exchange organization that their children will be safe and happy. That’s sort of an extreme case, not all kids or parents can do it. If my niece was staying with me, I would have told her about tampons if it came up. I would offer her one of mine if she had her period and wanted to go swimming. I would offer any woman the same thing if she were staying with me.

If it were the reverse and my daughter couldn’t have fun with the other kids because her guardian wouldn’t let her use tampons I would be pissed. I would hope my daughter would figure a way around it. What’s the lady going to do? Inspect my daughter’s personal things and vagina? Remember, I’m not forcing or forbidding anything! I’m giving the girl the choice. Your example is not analogous. I’m talking about leaving it up to the girl. By 14 I think a girl can easily decide for herself, probably as young as 12 depending on the girl. Younger than that I think that is very young, probably too young, to make a decision about tampons on the spot. Most very young girls are fairly unfamiliar with their own bodies. Being familiar and responsible is part of the deal.

Why the hell aren’t tampons taught in 5th grade health class when we learn about menstruation? Maybe it is now.

@Dutchess_III My mother was a devout Catholic. She thought that a girl sticking something into where only a man should be after marriage might make the girl want to experience that manly penetration before marriage.

@kritiper Oh wow..well, I can assure you there is no sexual excitement from penetrating yourself with a Tampon. LOL

I would very much like to hear a woman describe in detail how to employ a Tampax to a first timer. What gentle instruction that must be!
@Coloma I’ll tell my mom that the next time I visit her in the nursing home… speaking for myself, I never thought about it.

My girlfriend was pretty direct. “You take the paper off, stick the tube it in you, and shove it out, like this,” and she shot the tampon out like a rocket! Then we stuck it in water to watch it swell.
End of lesson. Took a bit to get the hang of it, of course. A newbie tends to shy away from shoving it in too deep and it won’t stay in.

And I second @Coloma. There is NOTHING remotely sexual about it, for a girl or a woman.

But, I have heard others say that their mothers said that using a Tampex costs a girl her virginity, and nobody would want them after that.

Another said that if she’d come home knowing how to use a Tampex she’d be called a whore at home.

Also, they do include a diagram along with the written instructions in each box so…..

I would guess girls who are going to be called whores know not to stick anything in there. They’ve probably been warned up, down, and sideways. I mean really, if you are in a family and culture that cares so much about the hymen being intact you would have to start warning girls in elementary school to be sure they don’t touch or put anything in there. Some hymens break very easily, others are very difficult.

If I told a girl about tampons I would tell her it might hurt the first time if it breaks her hymen. Many girls it doesn’t break from a tampon, but certainly the possibility is there. If the hymen is already broken then it’s a non-issue.

I didn’t know what a hymen was until well after I had broken mine already.

The instructions tell you positions to help insert it comfortably. Also, you need to know to open the string side so it doesn’t come apart. Not that you can’t put it back together, but it can fall apart and onto the floor if you are a little clumsy. Oh, and don’t throw the plastic down the toilet. Little details.

Reading, not commenting…

Everything you always wanted to know about tampons – and then some.

I am wondering what the guys think!

They think they are glad they don’t have periods. Lol.

^ LOL Amen to that. haha

We need a book called “Tampons for Dummies.” LOL