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letmelivemylife's avatar

How to teach your 4 year toddler to write.

Asked by letmelivemylife (130points) February 24th, 2021

My sis in law has a 4-year-old toddler and she is not able to get him to start writing or even scribbling. He loves playing on his own (independently) but whenever I or her try to teach him or even ask him to scribble, paint, or colour book. He says I don’t like studying.

We are really worried that he won’t be able to learn how to write. Please help me out on this.

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15 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Does he see you (or anybody) reading and writing, or just on your phone or online all the time? Kids imitate what they see.

If you make it look like a worthwhile activity, he will notice. That will work better than trying to “get” him to do something, which makes it sound like a chore.

I was always a reader, but my kids didn’t see me reading. And my younger son never really took to books. When he was 12, I suddenly realized that he never saw me reading because I never had time for it until he was in bed. After that I made it a point to read some during daytime so he would see me modeling it as a normal and enjoyable thing to do.

janbb's avatar

Expecting a four year old to learn to write and putting pressure on them to do so is a sure recipe for failure. They may not have the fine motor skills yet to write or draw and they just might not be interested in it yet. Nobody should be worrying about that yet. If they are playing well and exposed to a wide range of rich experiences – as much as is possible in a pandemic – and being read to and being spent time with daily, don’t worry yet about academic skills. There will be plenty of time for that learning in a school setting in the next few years.

Don’t worry!

Dutchess_III's avatar

yeah. Ease up on him. Start doing some painting or drawing with colored pencil and wait for him to get curious and want to join you. Do NOT pressure him to join you.
Also, “I don’t like to study,” is a very odd thing for a kid who hasn’t even started school to say.

kritiper's avatar

Put him/her in front of the TV and let them watch PBS.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I live in Asia, and I only learned to write at 6, when I started primary school. And my teacher taught me to write and my family just went along with it.

I couldn’t even read at 4.

jca2's avatar

My grandmother used to do with me what is now, coincidentally done by therapists. She’d have me try to make circles on paper, and straight lines on paper. She’d show me how, and then I’d try to do it. If you can get a 4 year old to do that, or try to do that, that is the beginning of writing. Just holding the pencil, and drawing circles. Then let’s do some lines. Lots of praise. That’s it. No letters. Letters are not until kindergarten or first grade.

No stress. Keep it fun.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Books! Picture books. Trucks, planes, blocks with letters. Get coloring books of the things which interest him and start coloring in them yourself. Ask him what color the trucks should be. Leave the crayons on the table in front of you and ask him to help you by choosing a color then passing you the crayon.

snowberry's avatar

He must have had a really bad experience with pencils/crayons/paint etc. However did he come to associate those things with “studying”? Did someone put a lot of pressure on him to perform? How does a child that age even know what “studying” is anyway?

Four years old is way too young to be forced to learn to write.

I agree with the above. If he brings up that word again, try to redirect him and say, “It’s not studying, it’s fun!” And forget about him making letters, for crying out loud! Just make fun pictures, and display them (yours and his) around the house.

Our brains learn best when we’re excited and having fun. So find a way to make it fun for both of you.

Cutterbup's avatar

I used puppets. The puppets desperately wanted to learn to write. My kids had to learn so they could teach the puppets. Also, art. Kids who draw and paint are better at handwriting. Something fun, like @snowberry says.

Cutterbup's avatar

Some education theories don’t have kids writing until they are six or seven.

Dutchess_III's avatar

The ridiculous pressures on these poor kids is giving me a headache.

snowberry's avatar

@Cutterbup Yes, and some boys develop even later. Their fine coordination skills just aren’t there yet, which explains why a lot of little boys have such terrible handwriting.

letmelivemylife's avatar

thanks, everyone for the answers. I am going to practise all the things mentioned above and also I’ll talk to my family that it is normal if the kid is not writing. :)

snowberry's avatar

Good job. Do not pressure a very young child to “study”. Someone has really messed up this little boy. Please don’t let them do this again. They may cause serious long term problems.

Smashley's avatar

I like to encourage writing and reading as superpowers my kids can obtain.They see me and their mom write and read often, and they know they can impress us by showing off their skills. Make sure kids know about the world that can open up through reading, and they’ll motivate themselves.

And don’t beat yourself or them up over the timeline. Learning is a lifelong endeavor.

PBS too. They love Super Why.

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