Have any Flutherer's, over the age of 30, ever tried the drug, Ecstacy(MDMA)

Yes. I did, once, with my son. He invited me to go to a rave with him when he was 16, and I went.

— I did it to understand what the experience meant to him.
— I didn’t like the rush (at all), but after that it was pleasant.
— I could see why the youngsters liked it, but I also had trouble getting why they couldn’t have a good time without it.
— I saw plenty of kids whacked out on it (and other things), and I didn’t like what it seemed to do to them.
— Once was enough. I’m glad I did it, and experienced the whole scene that went with it (map points, buses, door security, 800 kids dancing, 13-foot speakers, black lights, mayhem), but I wouldn’t need to do it again.

Being invited by my son, sharing the event with him, and talking with the young people there were one of the most meaningful experiences I have had as a parent of teenagers. It changed my view of things.

I did once when I was 19. I was at college and partied too much. I remember enjoying it at the time. It made me feel like I loved everyone.

Now that I am 38, I would never do it again. Those party days are over for me. I don’t like the feeling of not being in control of my body.

@Jeruba, You might be the coolest mom ever.

@Eambos, here is some of what I learned:

— The 800 wild and somewhat scary looking youngsters (with glitter on their faces and glow-bead necklaces and spots of Vicks on their temples) dancing like crazy to deafening music under strobe lights were mostly just a bunch of nice kids trying to have a good time.
— Most of these kids have no idea of their parents as kids.
— There’s an awful lot of youngsters who are really, really lonesome fror their mothers.

Here are some direct quotes from that night, written down the next day. This was nine years ago.

“Are you here with someone?” [Yes, my son.] “Wow, you’re kidding, right? Wow, that’s totally awesome!”
“Oh, God, you’re someone’s mom? You’re here with your son? He INVITED you?? That is the coolest thing I ever heard of, and you are absolutely the coolest mom in the whole world.”
“I wish my mom would come with me.” {Why don’t you ask her?] “She would just freak. She couldn’t handle a scene like this.”
“Isn’t it kind of weird for you, with all these gay guys and everything?”
“When I grow up, I want to be just exactly like you.”
“Are you at the wrong party?”

I wanted to hug all those adorable teens, and I don’t think that was just the Ecstasy.

Doing something new and exciting, albeit semi-dangerous, with your son must have been, for lack of a better word, exhilarating. For him to be that open and honest with you shows how well you treated him as a child. I bet there are many people who’d want you for thier mother =P

Jeruba, if it were possible to give you a million lurve, I would. And pat yourself on the back for having the trust and respect of your son. Well done.

@Jeruba – You should write a book! I know a quite a few people who could use it in their relationships with their kids now.

I was WAY done with drugs before I ever heard of ecstasy.

@aprilsimnel, @bythebay, and @Eambos, thank you for your kind comments. I don’t want to hijack the thread, but I would add just a little bit of explanation here.

My son started sneaking off to raves when he was 14. He had always been an honest kid and we trusted him, and here all of a sudden he was sneaking, lying, disappearing all night, hanging out with dangerous-looking types who scared us. Grounding and other measures had no effect. We had a terrible year and a half.

What saved us in the end was that we had always been able to talk to each other (thanks to a long custom of bedtime chats begun when he was four).

I sat down with him with an open mind and tried to discover what there was about this scene that meant so much to him. (At other times I had asked him to play me some music that he loved and tell me what he thought made it good.) He tried to explain to me about the vibe, and finally he just said, “Why don’t you come with me and see for yourself?” Pretty big gulp, because I was frightened. I thanked him and said I’d think about it. I knew it was a major test.

It was Bob Dylan who pushed me. I was a teenager myself when this song came out: “The Times They Are A-Changin’.” I heard this verse in a new way, from the other side:

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don’t criticize
What you can’t understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly agin’.
Please get out of the new one
If you can’t lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin’.

I went off to my room and played the CD, and through my tears I said to myself: “If I don’t believe it now, I didn’t really believe it then.” And I went back and said yes.

And here is the deal we came to, after all our talking: You don’t sneak around and lie to us about where you’re going and what you’re doing, and we don’t make you sorry you told us.

That wasn’t the end of the rough moments, but it put us where we needed to be. And our relationship has been solid ever since.

@Jeruba ;
Thanks for your honesty. That probably took as much courage as what you did. I may have gone to the rave but I never would have been able to do the ecstasy. I do know what it feels like to see your children slipping away, and I also know the joy of seeing them turn and make good decisions. You one brave mama!

<—- mind blown at how caring a parent can be.

I am not too keen on other drugs besides pot. I would have to be in an environment where I felt assured of my relative safety before doing something like E.

@Jeruba I wish you were my mom.

This kind of thread is one of the reasons I love Fluther. Jeruba, thank you again for the insight and honesty.

@jeruba
“tree lurves fo U”
I have two little girls, I hope to learn much from you here…
Thanks for sharing your love for your son with us.

would there be this much lurve had the drug been cocaine?

@Blondesjon, fair question, and no, I would not have done it. That would have been an altogether different path.

My kudos for Jeruba were less for the E and more for the C. C=communication. Her open and accepting communication with her son may have saved her relationship with him.

@Jeruba…This is pure curiosity. Can you give us a list of what you would have consumed with your child?

No, I don’t think so. I am not so good at speculative questions like that. I don’t think we really know much of anything about what we “would” do in certain circumstances, and I usually don’t answer fluther questions of that sort either. All I initially agreed to do was go to the party with him; there weren’t any other conditions. I went one step further that night for reasons of my own, and I don’t even know whether I’d have done the same thing on another night. I still have mixed feelings about having taken the drug, another reason why I wouldn’t do it twice. So I am not defending it or advocating it. I am just answering what I did and why.

@Jeruba
Thanks for your honesty. I really like the line from Dylan and glad to actually see his music inspire some-one with my own eyes.

@all other flutherer’s

I dont know if I should start a new thread, but how much do you guys actually know about ecstasy?

I read up on it at the time, including stuff at Erowid and elsewhere. I don’t remember it now.

I don’t know a thing.

I “know” it wears away the parts of your brain that controls serotonin levels, but that’s it, and I could be wrong about that.

Im not big for mainstream media news reporting, but Peter Jennings actually did a very good report on it.

@aprilsmnel

It does work by releasing more serotonin, but doesn’t necessarily wear it out.

@chris6137, what prompted the question? If you don’t mind my asking. I feel like I have a bit of an investment now. I had no idea I was going to go there this afternoon.

well first of all im not over 30 im 23 but i have tried it once my i was messed up in crystal for about a year i cooked it dealed it and did it myself. My friends invited me to a rave pary in DC woohoo so on the way i took 2 x pills and did two lines of crystal yes I was all doped up but we got to the party and it started kicking in and o man is that a feelling i can’t really explain it but i can tell you it was worth it to try it once hav to fdrink lots of water and welll all i no is i went to the dance floor took my shirt off and i was spining light sticks we all no what those are and all the colors there and lights it was cool and fun plus i got to see infected mushroom and dj icey play there listen to them you might like them and for jerbua you are the coolest mom ever my mom would never have went with me and i would have been in deep troubl for that myself lol.

but anyway if you have not tried it it is a fun drug i ony did it once to see what it was like and i had fun on it if you do want to try i will tell you this no who you are getting it from drugs are very bad now adays so no who the person is youre getting it from and make sure you go to a rave party and also drink lots of water while on it

I used to do it when I was about 16 or 17. I wasn’t one of those raver kids with a pacifier in my mouth, I didn’t like their whole act. I loved it at first, it was so good because it was new and wasnt cut with tons of shit. My boyfriend would bring it from NYC and really not many people had it here. Anyway, you would get the best roll and just dance all night (lots of water was key). I never thought it made you have sex like most people claimed, I mean yeah I had lots of amazing sex with my boyfriend but most people used E as an excuse to fuck random strangers. When it was new and pure there weren’t harsh comedowns. Then people started to make so many different kinds and you never knew what it really was. The first time I had a bad roll I stayed in the bathroom with my friend frankie and I was ok, but everytime I tried going back into the club I freaked out. That was the last time I did it.

im sorry you had a bad trip i have had one of those on shrooms and trust me it wasnt fun at all so ya but o ya thats one thing i fogot to add in there the sex was omg amazing on e awsome drug youre first is allways the best tho remember that

Children. Ecstacy is St. Joseph’s Baby Acid.

Nope, never even seen one.

@Jeruba

Im 26 now, and from 16–19, I did ecstasy quite often. I haven’t done it in years and watched that Peter Jennings special on it. Since the scene I was involved with was mostly the club scene, age 16–20, I was curious if the previous generation had any experience or knowledge of the drug.
I kinda wish that all of our elected officials took some. It might actually change their perspective on foreign policy and war.

@chris6137 why only over 30? I do know quite a bit about it, but i fall short of your age limit :P

I know you do. I went through the club phase from 16–19, so I did it with many people my age. It seems that our generation has done it and knows some information about it. It also seems that our parents generation know very little about it. @Jeruba hit it on the head with her story though, especially the Dylan quote.
.

@chris6137 you need to also take into account that MDMA didnt get popular until the late 70s early 80s from Alexandewr Shulgin so it makes sense that a lot of the older generation wouldnt know much about it as it was just being introduced in their drug years. Where as with us its been around for a while and a lot more research has been done on it. We also have the internet and sites like erowid so info comes much easier.

That is exactly why I asked. Most of that generation knows about and/or tried LSD, mushrooms, or mescaline. I figured if anyone over 30 has tried ecstasy, it would have been in the 10 or so years. I don’t think I know anyone over 30 who has tried other psychedelics in the last 10 years, even though I think most people should.

Well, now, perhaps it should be anyone over 40. E started coming around my neck of the woods right about the time I graduated high school and there were definitely raves in fields outside of Madison during my years at college.

@chris6137 gotcha…. i do agree though, psychedelics can be a great eye opener and really seem to make people a lot more understanding of everyone else. Drugs for all :P

There are plenty of people much older than you who make use of various substances. Chances are you don’t socialize with them much. Doesn’t mean they aren’t into some things as much as you. For instance, there are people who came of age in the sixties and who are still around and haven’t changed as much as you might think.

And of course there are many others who have outgrown that way of life or who never had any interest in the first place. I’m not talking about them. I’m just saying you don’t have to be under 30 to be current with a wide variety of psychedelics. Don’t look at me—I just hear things from people that you might not be talking to.

@Jeruba of course there’s older people who still partake in psychedelics, but the majority of its users are undeniably weighted towards the younger crowd. Especially when talking about party drugs like MDMA.

I’ve heard of therapists administering it to clients in therapy too.

@Jeruba Alexander Shulgin was a big advocate of this back in the day. I strongly agree that it has vast therapeutic values. You have never talked so freely and expressed your emotions as well as you do while under the influence of MDMA. I really dont know of therapists today administering it in therapy now since its illegal.
if you know of any LMK ill have to uhhhh check them out :P

[Three years later] Someone gave me a GA for a post on this thread and brought it up on my profile, long after I had utterly forgotten it. The son is a lawyer now, in his late twenties, extremely able and extremely conscientious, and we still have a great relationship.

I still can’t defend my taking the drug that one time and would not dream of advocating it to anyone, but I don’t regret it either. What I learned was worth it.