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casheroo's avatar

What is one thing you've always wanted to ask your parents, but just can't?

Asked by casheroo (18019 points ) March 31st, 2009

I say “can’t” because it may be something that you just feel you cannot bring it up to them, you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make things awkward.

What would you ask your parents, if they wouldn’t remember you asked them?

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29 Answers

casheroo's avatar

I was thinking about this the other day…
I’ve always wanted to ask my parents: “Why did you let me make all those mistakes?”
I am so curious as to why they didn’t discipline me better, why they didn’t force me to stay in when I was going out doing things I really regret. I know they couldn’t have run my life 24/7, but I wish they could have prevented me from making a lot of the mistakes I made. I don’t blame them though, so that’s why I don’t ask. I think, now that I’m a parent…I just question their parenting! lol

Likeradar's avatar

“How did the first polyamory conversation go? Who brought it up? What was the immediate result? How did it become ok?”

I haven’t asked because it would be awkward for me, not for them

MrGV's avatar

Ask for money

poofandmook's avatar

I wanted to ask my dad if he was gay… I knew the answer. I found out at age 14, and he didn’t come out to me until I was 25.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I’m an only child & I always wanted to ask them why. Did they just not want any more kids? Did something happen that they COULDN’T have any more? I mean, why? My mom was a very private person & she gave up nothing. She was hard to ask stuff to. I realize that was a long time ago & times have changed, but I just always wondered…......

chyna's avatar

I’ve always wanted to ask “who is all of our fathers?” None of us look alike, but from all accounts, we have the same father.

juniper's avatar

I’ve always wanted to ask my mom if she’s been in love with someone other than my father. I suspect that she has, and I also suspect that he (the other man) was a deeper and more true love than what she feels for my dad. I’m also just curious as to whether or not she’s been with other men, since she always pushed abstinence so hard. That is none of my business, I know, but to be fair, she knows a lot about me.

asmonet's avatar

Nothing I want ask my mother.
I’d like to know where the transcripts are to the interview my father conducted with freaking ELVIS in the early sixties, only he would know where.

What I really want to know out of a twisted bit of curiosity would be from my aunt.
Was my grandmother on the phone with you when she pulled trigger, or did she wait to hang up?

No one knows it seems, we all know the facts but the timeline is suspiciously vague. And your mother’s suicide directly after speaking to you isn’t something you want to be reminded of often.

YARNLADY's avatar

I would like to ask them if there really is anything after you die.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Did that man rape you? Is that how I’m here?

DeanV's avatar

Where do babies come from?

Milladyret's avatar

Why didn’t you ever talk to us about food, exercise and weight? Made us awear how our bodies work and how to take good care of it…

And:

Why, OH WHY did I get TWO SISTERS with just a year and half between us!?! Three girls at once could NOT have been easy!

Kraken's avatar

Did you ever do hard drugs?

Kraken's avatar

@Yarnlady Sadly, the lights just turn out, end of show. The end.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Kraken That’s what I believe, but they believed there was a reward waiting for them.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I’ve always wanted to ask my dad about his experiences with drugs, if there were any (he was in college in the late 60’s – it had to have happened sometime!). He’s insinuated that he did something sometime, but he’s never elaborated.

I would also like to ask my mom about all of her pregnancies. I’ve wondered about this ever since I overheard her telling either my sister-in-law or a friend on the phone that she had been pregnant eight different times, but there are only three of us. I know she’s never had an abortion, so I’ve figured out what happened, but I have always wondered what she would say about them. I also found a Mother’s Day card signed by my dad from himself and “the twins.” There were never twins, and I have wanted to know what all happened. I’ve never brought it up because I assume it’s all very painful for her, but I hope she’ll tell me one day. I don’t plan on having kids right now, but if I ever do, I think it’d be good info for me to have.

oratio's avatar

I have always wondered what the hell they saw in each other

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’ve always wanted to ask my parents if they ever dropped acid but I’m afraid of the response I’d get. Or it could be rather enlightening, I suppose, in a Woodstock kind of way.

Jack79's avatar

I’d want to ask my dad if he was gay, but I think he wouldn’t know the answer himself. He probably isn’t, but there’s no way to know. I’d like to ask my mum about her life before she met my dad. She seems to have changed a lot since she was married (her old friends describe a completely different person when she was at uni).

jo_with_no_space's avatar

There’s not much I couldn’t ask my Mum, as we have a really open relationship where we can talk about pretty much everything.

My Dad? Well, I wouldn’t know where to start. I lie.. here’s a good start – why have you made such little attempt to build a relationship? Is it because the guilt would consume you? Do you think of me every day? How does it feel to have a child on the other side of the world who you never see?

jbfletcherfan's avatar

This is one of the best questions I’ve ever read. Every one of these answers is fascinating to me. We all have back stories, don’t we? And we’re all shaped by our environment.

VS's avatar

I suppose I would want to ask my Dad why he didn’t take better care of himself so he could have lived to past my tenth birthday. I would ask him who the other woman was he was with when he died while my mom and I were in Maryland attending to my dying grandmother.
My mom and I had a pretty good open relationship in the later years, but I didn’t know until after she died that she was married to someone else before she married my dad. My aunt told me she was only married for about three weeks, he was abusive and my dad was her divorce attorney—that’s how they met. I’d be interesting in hearing about some of that maybe. Or not.

wundayatta's avatar

Was there ever a time you were proud of me?

What happened when my brother was born? Is it true, as we suspect, that you turned all your attention to him?

MissAusten's avatar

I’d like to ask my dad about the time he spent in Vietnam. He almost never talks about it, and he isn’t the kind of person that invites personal questions. I mean, I know he bought a camera there and a really nice ring, but that’s it.

I’d like to ask both of my parents what really happened when my mom had a miscarriage when I was a teenager. Again, not something you just bring up. They never went to the hospital, and I always wonder if they called the doctor who said they might as well stay home because there was nothing to be done, or if they just didn’t call because they already knew it was too late. Way too personal for my dad, and way too loaded for my mom.

Those are the big two. There are a lot of other things I’d like to ask my mom in particular, but it wouldn’t really be fair to her. She is a pathological liar, very selfish, and manipulative. I could ask her how old I was when I started to walk, and probably get a made up story. In defense of my dad, the one time I did ask him about something personal (during their divorce), we had a very good conversation. I don’t know if he’s as closed up as I think, or if I’m still just too intimidated by him.

And some day I will ask my dad if he really thought I “didn’t have the brains God gave a goose” when I was a kid. It was his favorite expression!

essieness's avatar

For a long time I wanted to ask what really happened between my mom and my birth father (leading up to his giving up his parental rights) and when I finally did, the answer was underwhelming. I still get conflicting stories from both sides… 27 years later. I don’t care anymore.

Likeradar's avatar

@casheroo This was a great question! It is really interesting to get little glimpses into people’s families.

psyla's avatar

I would ask my Mom to tell me what those metal boxes under her skin are, and I’d ask my Dad about about those two bony things he keeps sawing off his head.

Adagio's avatar

One part of me would like to ask my parents why their marriage broke up, the other part prefers not to know.

Who the hell was Uncle Jack?

Inspired_2write's avatar

our beginnings.
The first ancestor

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