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Dansedescygnes's avatar

Have you ever lost a friend and not known what happened to them?

Asked by Dansedescygnes (2876 points ) April 14th, 2009

I moved from Las Vegas to SF in 2002 so I lost plenty of friends. But most of the ones I was close with I found on Facebook and what not. Some I have visited.

But there was this one girl in 1st grade that is still a mystery and it’s sad too. She and I became good friends. We hung out all the time, it was almost like Bridge to Terabithia, we had our little make-believe thing going on. We were friends for the whole year basically until the end of the year when a group of boys started making fun of me for being with a girl. I had never been made fun of at school before, it was upsetting and it made me cry. To remedy that, my 6-year-old mind decided to avoid her. She had invited me to her birthday party and she noticed that I was avoiding her and said something like “I guess you don’t want to come.” I never got a chance, though, because shortly after that she got meningitis and left the school and disappeared from my life. I never found out what happened to her, I never said goodbye. I’ll always regret that. I haven’t seen or heard of her since. That was 1998. I wonder if she still remembers me.

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14 Answers

Jack79's avatar

Many. Most of them actually, since I keep moving. They probably wonder the same about me, since they stay where they are and I’m always the one passing through.

The one friend I always wonder about is my friend George who went to study in Italy. I wonder where he is now.

I once received an email from another friend of mine, who had been searching for me online (and eventually tracked me down). That was nice.

Trustinglife's avatar

Great question and explanation. Facebook has been wonderful for me with these kinds of things. Really. You’ve searched for her there, and googled her?

I’m not sure what you’re wanting… are you wanting to hear stories of our similar experiences, to comfort you? Or are you wanting advice on how to find your long-lost friend?

Dansedescygnes's avatar

@Trustinglife

I’ve Googled, Facebooked, etc. Her name is kind of common so it appears many times on Facebook. None of the people with pictures seem to be her.

But I’m asking for people to post their own stories of similar experiences. You can do the other two if you want. :)

mcbealer's avatar

Bridge to Terabithia was the first book I remember reading and then crying for days afterwards. You are truly fortunate to have known a friend like that!

I’ve lost contact with many friends over the years. Some because I’ve moved around a bit, others because of how demanding careers can become in peoples lives.

I emphathize with you on this, in fact just tonight I was wondering if anybody out there knows where in the world my old friend Kevin Tinkey is ??

discover's avatar

You can try checking her full name in the school where you studied. It may be hard work, but can help you to contact her if you know her full name

augustlan's avatar

When I was a teenager, I had a great group of friends. I was one of two girls in the group, and all the rest were guys. While most of us have lost touch with one another, I know where they are, except one. Ken, the quietest, shyest of us all, ran away from home with no warning to any of us. Poof. He just disappeared. None of us ever heard from him again. I’ve searched for him online, with no luck so far. It still makes me sad.

Judi's avatar

I lost my friend Betsey in 5th grade. She moved from Eugene, Oregon to Bakersfield, CA. We wrote many letters and lost touch, When I was in college she showed up on my mothers porch. I didn’t hear from her for years, then I got a wedding invitation. I can;t remember the name of the guy she married. I eventually moved to Bakersfield and ask anyone who grew up here if they know her, 24 years later and no hits yet.

Lupin's avatar

I come from a generation when it was normal to have friends move away and lose touch. Daggnabbit, We didn’ have no Inteyweb or Myface Books to find nobody! We’d pick up the tellyphone and holler “Hey Mabel. Where’s Howie live? He owes me 25 cents!”

Thanks to anywho.com and my college annual yearbook I’ve managed to reunite with everyone I cared to. Now we’re meeting each other at our kids’ weddings.
I even found my girlfriend from elementary school. Lots of good memories.
Linkedin and Facebook are going to make it hard for your generation to skip out on that 2 bucks you owe Brandon in your English class.

sdeutsch's avatar

I had lost my best friend from elementary school for about 15 years – we went to school together until we were 14, but then we sort of grew apart and I hadn’t heard from her in ages. I googled and looked for her on Facebook, but she has a very common name, so I had no luck.

Fortunately, I have an uncommon name, and she managed to find my website a few months ago. We got together for coffee when she was home over Christmas, and it was almost like we’d never been apart. It’s kind of amazing when you realize that your taste in friends was spot on at the age of six…

SuperMouse's avatar

I was very close friends with a guy I worked with back in California who moved to San Francisco. We kept in touch for a while but I have since lost track of him. So Mark H, if you are out there I love you and I miss you. I also miss Monday Morning Movie Madness with M & J. The hardest part about missing Mark is that his lover died of AIDS not long before he left town. Although he had always tested negative, I still pray for him.

There was another guy by the name of Stacy M I used to work with as well, I would love to track him down and talk auto racing and martial arts.

@Lupin, I am from the same generation. I have lost track of many friends over the years. Facebook actually helped me find a couple from high school and even elementary school (shout out to Eric, Tim, Jeff, and Thor)! But the two I listed above are the ones I would really like to find.

Macaulay's avatar

This is my relationship with my best friend concerning the “mysterious disappearance”. He is a wanderer and I love him dearly. No phone, no laptop, just a backpack and a passport. He mails me letters that make my face light up. Thankfully, we’re still in touch, it just comes in spurts. I can relate to you during the months that I don’t hear from him. It’s an empty feeling.

tinyfaery's avatar

One of my great friends, who was the sister of a long term boyfriend, whose mother allowed me to become part of their family when I was kicked out of my own, whom I had known since the 7th grade, disappeared one day. She was in and out of rehab, and had a serious meth problem, and one day she took her mom’s car and no one has seen her since. A missing person’s report was filed, but it has been about 6 years, and she is still missing.

aviona's avatar

Yes. But then she found me on Facebook.

blndeguy1's avatar

Its true its hard to move away from friends they always seem to just fade away , there is always myspace, facebook, ect… but it’s even harder to find a person if its a girl. With the changing of names when they get married. however i have to thank FLUTHER for getting me back together with someone i have been searching for.

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