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zephyr826's avatar

What is the worst thing you have ever accidentally said to someone?

Asked by zephyr826 (5595 points ) May 13th, 2009

I don’t mean things like “I hope you die” (in my opinion, that’s not an accident). It could be to a stranger, or to someone you care abut. For example, when I broke up with my college boyfriend of three years, he said, “I was going to propose to you.” I responded (without thinking about it), “Oh God, no.” Obviously, this was not the most delicate way to put the answer, but I was so upset that things had fallen apart so badly that we were in completely different places. I’ve always felt guilty about those three words, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s made a blunder like that. So what did you say, to whom, and have you ever been able to apologize and make it right?

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30 Answers

fundevogel's avatar

I have a history of making ‘your mother’ jokes around people with dead mothers.

Face palm.

spresto's avatar

A girl I took out once, I found out she had the most annoying voice on earth, approached me some years later after I had gone off to college. She had by coincidence transferred to the same school. I asked her how she was doing. She proceeded to tell me her life story from the point we graduated to that current point in time. She said, “I applied for scholarships and got them.”(I too had tried applying for scholarship and did not get any at the time.) Without thinking I immediately turned to her and said “Really? How?” She walked away very pissed off.

I didn’t realize how that sounded until she stormed off. By then I could have cared less though. lol.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

This isn’t something I said TO someone, but ABOUT someone. Years ago, in the office I worked in, there was a new girl that just wasn’t getting the hang of things. She was kind of an odd ball to boot, & just didn’t fit in. Two of us went into the restroom one day. We were raggin’ on her pretty bad. Unbeknownst to us, she was in one of the stalls & heard every word we said. When she came out & looked at us, I looked for a hole to jump into to swallow me up. I was completely mortified! It taught me to SHUT UP in there.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

In the midst of a drunken sex act, my bf decided to ask me questions about a previous love interest and I mumbled something along the lines of, ”...the situation being impossible, we love with our words and our hearts…” it was an un good morning after when I sobered up.

MrItty's avatar

I was pissed at something annoying Girlfriend was doing, and it was the first time. In contrast, I was nearly always pissed at something annoying ex-Girlfriend was doing, and without thinking, blurted out “Damnit <ex-Girlfriend>!!”. Yeah. That was un-good.

jrpowell's avatar

I was drunk..

This girl I worked with five years earlier walked up with her parents outside a restaurant in a different city. We worked at a theater in Eugene and this was in Portland. So they walk up and I don’t recognize her. After a bit of WTF I asked, “Did you eat Erika?” She put on a bit of weight.

That was the worst thing I have said. It just popped out. I still feel really bad about it.

reverie's avatar

@fundevogel I have a dead mother and I’m not remotely uncomfortable with that sort of comment. What I am uncomfortable with is other people’s discomfort about it. So please, try not to feel bad about that comment, it’s no biggie. Honestly, when you’ve lost a parent, what makes it socially awkward isn’t the fact that the parent is dead, it’s the reactions of the people you tell – when they start making a fuss, feeling embarrassed if they make a bit of a blunder, trying to be more sensitive than normal, that sort of thing. I’ve had “your mum” jokes made to me repeatedly (I find it just as funny as the next person). They don’t make me feel bad at all. What would make me feel bad is if I knew that person considered their comment to be the worst thing they’d ever accidently said to someone.

3or4monsters's avatar

I was talking about a Dilbert comic with my engineer dad, and said “dildo” instead.

D:

chyna's avatar

I ran into an ex-coworker I hadn’t seen for a while. I asked her when she was “due” thinking she was pregnant. She said “Im not pregnant, just fat.” oops.

fundevogel's avatar

@reverie – It’s good to hear that it wouldn’t bother you. But it has hurt people that I care about. Honestly in the last year I’ve curtailed a lot of the jokes I used to make. It’s not that I don’t still find those things funny, but I’m more concerned now about their potential to hurt people, and I don’t want to do that.

I can certainly still enjoy those sorts of jokes, but I wouldn’t tell them myself unless I knew the people I was with for sure wouldn’t be hurt by them.

I’m not that concerned about offending though

nebule's avatar

have you brushed your teeth?..

then they said yes

:-/

Offero's avatar

Alright this is the story, I am white. I grew up in the Bronx, and was part off a dart league. We were at this bar outside of the projects shooting against an all black team. I announced that I was going to the bar for a drink, and my friend ask, “Can you get me a Jack and coke?” I turned to him and said, “Do I look darker than you?” The place stood still. If the jukebox was on, it shut off with a VFPPP. I looked around at the angry faces, and knew what I had to do. I turned into Geraldo Rivera saying things like,
“Does that really offend you?”
“To me it’s just a saying, but I guess now that I think about it it implies that to be darker means slave. I never thought about that before, what is your opinion.”
This line of BS, and a lot of drinks on me, smoothed over the situation.

reverie's avatar

@fundevogel – mm, that’s an important point, obviously what may not bother some may hurt and upset others, and I can understand and appreciate you feeling bad if you are aware that you’ve unintentionally upset people you care for. I suppose a lot of it boils down to knowing your audience, and erring on the side of caution when you’re not totally sure and thus might cause genuine hurt for someone. I respect your attitude.

I agree with your last comment too… there’s definitely a distinction to be made between causing hurt and causing offense. I care less about the latter, too!

KatawaGrey's avatar

I play three trading card games. I am female. To anyone who is heavy into the nerd and geek scene, you’ll know that this is an oddity. So, when I was playing in a big World of Warcraft tournament (card game, not computer game) I was thrilled to be playing against another female. I sat down and said, “It’s nice to see another female here,” and he said, “wrong again.” I didn’t make eye contact with him for the rest of the match.

Allie's avatar

“Your ex-boyfriend belongs in a straitjacket.”

It didn’t help at all that she still had feelings for him.
I felt bad as soon as it came out of my mouth.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@johnpowell have I mentioned I live in Eugene? :)

cookieman's avatar

We were considering this particular Catholic school for my daughter. They have a fairly progressive curriculum and are conveniently located, but I was concerned about the religious teachings (as I am agnostic).

“Not to worry” says the Principal, “we’re very light on dogma here – not like the old days”.

“Right” I said, “I haven’t seen any penguins walking about either”.

“Well…you’re speaking with one” she said dryly.

DarkScribe's avatar

It was after midnight on a boat where we had just celebrated New Year’s Eve and I spotted my wife leaning over the quarterdeck rail, watching the wake. I walked up behind her, reached around her and started caressing her breasts, then whispered in her ear: “How about we go to below and get naked”? My mother in law responded (she had borrowed my wife’s jacket and they were both slim in build) “And they say that men don’t get on with their wife’s mother”. It was years before I heard the last of it. Every time we’d visit she look at my wife and say “Can I borrow your jacket”?

MacBean's avatar

@DarkScribe I may have just pulled something laughing.

cookieman's avatar

@DarkScribe: I shuddered and laughed at the same time. OMG!

Jack79's avatar

I once had a university professor with a lisp. One day he called me into his office to help me with something, but I hadn’t spoken to him for ages so I’d forgotten about the lisp. He starts by “Tho, what thall we do about you, mr.Thtevens?”. And I answer: “Tho, letth thee…”

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@DarkScribe LOLLL…you have a cool MIL.

Facade's avatar

If I said something, it wasn’t an accident.

ru2bz46's avatar

@Facade Oh. Well, now I’m hurt by your previous comment. :-(

ru2bz46's avatar

@Facade Sorry, that was a little joke. You’ve never said anything I find offensive. I couldn’t find a good way to indicate that without it looking weird on the screen. :-)

Hmmm…I think I just found something to post on this question, myself. :-\

Facade's avatar

@ru2bz46 lol ohhh ok :P I thought I had because it’s entirely possible

ru2bz46's avatar

@Facade I’m sure you try hard, as I said in this thread, I don’t get offended.

shunyata's avatar

I said sex instead of six in a bad moment ( freudian slip)

Akua's avatar

@Offero You got outta there in one piece?!?! Must have had a rabbitts foot in your pocket. @DarkScribe Thank you for making me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants at work!

The worst thing I ever accidentally said: We had an old family friend over for dinner and he is a devout Muslim. When I gave him his salad, I said Abu, would you prefer Blue cheese or Cesar dressing?” he said “oh no that’s okay, I’m trying to cut back on my weight and that stuff is fattening”. I immediately say back “Oh! well if you want something lighter I have some oil and vinegar” He says “no don’t go thru any trouble for me” and I say “oh no, it’s no trouble at all the vinegar is right in the bathroom”. He just looked at me then quietly said “No, that’s okay”. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes passed that I realized what he must have thought I used the vinegar for in the bathroom and I was SO embarassed.

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