Massages. When do you get them, and what for?

My wife made me get one with her before and I never plan on getting one again. I am extremely ticklish and uncomfortable with someone I’ve never met before rubbing my whole body with oils.

Ahhhhh. .. massages.
I probably get 3 a year, and would love to get the more often.
I get them when I’m very stressed to get loosened up and relax for a little while. The boy and I also get couples massages for special occasions sometimes. It’s a pretty intimate, luxurious thing to share and we both love how connected we feel after .

I like just general massage- no deep tissue or anything funky. Sometimes the addition of hot stones are nice for really deep relaxation. I got a lymphatic massage once, and I expected it to suck. Even during it, it was kind of lame. But afterwards- damn. I felt amazing and refreshed.

My favorite masseuse is a tiny southern woman in high heels at a chi-chi salon that I got a gift certificate to. When I met her I thought “meh, this will probably suck, at least it’s free.” But WOW. That little southern belle made my muscles her bitch, and I loved it.

I go maybe once a year. Good ones in NYC are expensive. I go to promote an overall feeling of well being and to relieve muscle cramps. I’d get them more often if I could afford them, like maybe 2x a month.

I got deep Swedish last time, but I’ve also had Lymphatic and Shiatsu massage before. I was happy with them all.

The back of my neck and my shoulders are the worst for me. The back of my neck aches and my shoulders get tense because of stress. I’ve had a full body massage, which was lovely, but, cheap ol’ me goes to the girlfriend now. I’ll be sitting with my laptop working, and she’ll come over and start massaging my shoulders and rub her thumb along the back of my neck. My head lowers and my body relaxes. Kisses along my neck whilst massaging the shoulders is nice. I melt like buttah.

I can’t afford massage any longer so it’s now a treat. For pain, I prefer acupuncture which is more affordable and works better for me. I suffer often from pinched sciatic nerve so acupuncture is great and an immediate relief from that while a massage just makes everything else feel nice but doesn’t really fix anything.

I’ve never been able to afford a real massage :(

But I’ve always wanted to try a “hot rock massage” where they place hot rocks on your back before doing some massage work. Sounds so nice to me.

I’ve also had a moxa massage after giving birth. It is a specific herb and a hot roller they use on your back. It can be for men or women. It is so soothing.

I’m a massage student in transition of getting my license. I’m about to take my exam. I’ve been waiting my whole fluther career to help someone with a massage question!

If you’re having a chronic problem, you may want to go more regularly. You can find a therapist to work with your schedule and budget. There are even therapists which take health insurances. Many chiropractors work with therapists who take insurances, so you can call around to those offices to try to find one.

Massages do work, if the problem is with the soft tissue itself (muscle, tendons, ligaments, fascia, etc). It will not work if the problem is with a nerve, bone, or interverbebral disk. The purpose of a massage is to loosen muscle which is tight. Uric acid builds up in tense and unused muscle and causes that “crunchiness” that you feel when your rubbing on a knot. Also, tight or lumpy muscles do not get enough blood flow into them, and therefore don’t get enough oxygen. Both the uric acid and lack of oxygen causes the pain. We are taught that if you have not solved the problem in 10 sessions, you are to advise medical attention. I would say if you’re not at least feeling some progress after 5, you can try another therapist or seek a medical professional.

There should never be real pain during a massage. If there is, then either the therapist doesn’t is not very skilled, or it’s not a soft tissue problem.

The type of massage you should get depends on your problem.

Swedish massage is the “frou-frou” kind which usually covers the whole body and is used for relaxation. Not to say it doesn’t have benefits- it’s actually recommended to help people with high blood pressure and even Parkinsons and Alzheimer’s etc. to aid in muscle spasms. You can get this in any day spa or massage clinic.

Deep tissue maybe benefit someone with a specific problem area, ex: the lower back. It uses less oil/lotion and isn’t really relaxing, but more deliberate. Contrary to popular belief, deep tissue does not have to “hurt.” The only hurt should be hedonic, or “hurt so good.” At the most, it should be uncomfortable, and not unbearable. A good therapist will not just dive into your cold tissue, but will do some Swedish techniques to warm it up first then work superficial to deep so as to not hurt you. Most day spas offer this.

Sports massage is similar to deep tissue, but works with your sport and around whatever events you have. I don’t know how athletic you are, but if you’re a serious athlete, it could be worth checking out.

Posture assessment is a specialty that some therapists may have to help you learn about your body and what might be causing the pain. They will use a plumb line to see if you’re the crooked little man in the crooked little house. If you have a deviation, your body compensates and causes muscle tension. Something as simple as one leg bone being shorter than the other can result in neck pain because your whole body is compensating. Someone skilled in this assessment can help you determine the cause of the problem so you can see a specialist for help, then work on your musculature.

There are hundreds more modalities, but these are the ones

All the extras (hot stones, aromatherapy, cupping, myotherapy, hydrotherapy,) are meant to aid in the massage itself, but aren’t necessary.

Tips:
– Take a hot shower/bath before the massage to warm up the muscles. Heat does a lot of the work and can help the therapist skip over the warming up and get right to the problem.

- Heating pads between sessions can prolong the effects of a massage.

- Stretching is a great complement to massage.

- Drink lots of water before and after massage and stretching to flush out all the stuff that was trapped in your muscles.

@ubersiren: awesome!

I just noticed I didn’t finish a sentence… I’m not sure what I was going to say there. “These are the ones..” that will most likely cover your area of need or something, probably.

Lurve massages. I plan on getting at least one soon. I used to get them very often, prior to having children. I love it.
For me, they definitely work, but it does depend on if you get a good massage therapist. I’ve had some not no great ones.

@casheroo : I had an absolute horrible “therapist” once. She just didn’t seem to care to be there at all. At one point, I think she just gave up altogether and just started poking. And she insulted me at the end. I told her that I had recently had a baby, and after the massage, she said, “Maybe next time you’ll have some of that baby weight off of you.”

I don’t know how some people keep their licenses.

@ubersiren I went to this one place which seemed like an upscale place, for a pregnancy massage. It was awful! She didn’t do anything, no real deep rubbing..which I know can be done while pregnant, just not in certain areas..but my problem area is always the upper back which doesn’t affect the baby at all (pain under my shoulder blade was so severe with my first pregnancy) she didn’t do anything I asked and honestly seemed too weak. I looked into becoming a therapist, and just knew I wasn’t going to be strong enough for it, you know?
Oh, and I would have been furious at that MT! I can’t believe she said that. I did find seeing a chiro helped the most after giving birth. I’d go three times a week for a month and felt aligned again.

Never had one, except for the friend massages like, you had a bad day want me to push uncomfortably on your back?

In college – facials after midterms, massages after finals. SOOO worth it.