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chelle21689's avatar

Why is my bf lovey dovey all of a sudden?

Asked by chelle21689 (5379 points ) May 12th, 2010

Fluther wants me to be more detailed so this is edited
My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 5 years. He’s never really been the type to say romantic things except when we were first going out. All of a sudden for the past few days I’ve been waking up to his text messages like “Morning beautiful :)” or “Good morning love” or “I love you so much” and it’s confusing me. It’s not like him to do this, so I’m kind of worried something is up. I mean I really like it but I’m hoping it’s not about him doing something bad and feeling guilty so that he has to make up for it.

He’s affectionate when he’s with me physically but when we’re apart he usually doesn’t send me love messages. Should I ask what’s up?

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23 Answers

Sophief's avatar

Do you live together? I wouldn’t say anything for a while and try and check up on him if you can, but saying that he could just be feeling love, and wants to tell you.

JLeslie's avatar

Tell him you love the messages and ask what prompted them. See what he says. If he gets all tongue tied bad sign. If he says, “the woman I work with Julie was telling me she and her SO text sweet messages all of the time, and he thought it was a nice idea,” then don’t worry.

Cruiser's avatar

IMO it would depend on what your response to his texts have been…you just may be encouraging him!

Seaofclouds's avatar

You can ask him if you want, but if I remember correctly (from your other questions), there have been a lot of things you guys have talked about lately in regards to your relationship, so he could just be honestly trying to “do better” so to speak. If you are really concerned that he is doing it out of guilt, ask him about it. Just say something like “this is nice, what brought this on”.

evandad's avatar

He may suspect a change in you. If he has no reason to then just be glad to get the extra attention.

chelle21689's avatar

Idk, we had a big fight a couple weeks ago and we’ve been on a smooth ride lately. He just never really have been the sweet talker though.

JLeslie's avatar

Well, if you had been fighting a lot lately, if you were suspicious of another woman anyway, it might mean that other thing fell apart and he is realizing he never should have strayed from you.

chelle21689's avatar

No, I don’t suspect he was cheating. Maybe I’m reading too much into this.

JLeslie's avatar

@chelle21689 I stick with my original response then. Tell him you like it and asked what prompted it if you are curious.

chelle21689's avatar

Yeah I’ll ask lol

JLeslie's avatar

Let us know. :)

Trillian's avatar

I don’t trust it, but then I’m not the best source for this kind of thing right now. Does it have anything to do with your information about marijuana?
Did you confront him or say anything about that? I’d think he maybe has a guilty conscience, but like I said, I don’t see clearly on this type of thing right now. Maybe I’ll snap out of it in a few months.

CMaz's avatar

He is feeling guilty.

charlie_salazar's avatar

Perhaps he just read an article suggesting spontanious affection or something. Or chatting to a single friend made him appreciate what he actually has. Could be any number of reasons, our human nature is to be suspicious, but it could just be completely innocent. Give him the benefit of the doubt and enjoy it!

chyna's avatar

Unfortunately, my first thought is what @ChazMaz says, he’s feeling guilty. But, hey, I never give anyone the benefit of the doubt and always expect the worst out of people.

BoBo1946's avatar

Would not read anything into at this point. If there is something going on, it will eventually surface!

Just enjoy it, for now!

Silhouette's avatar

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. You have to take it at face value unless you have reason to not trust him. I say give him the benefit of the doubt and give yourself permission to just enjoy it.

JLeslie's avatar

@ChazMaz men are so stupid. No offense. But, they don’t realize that if they change their behavior they are tipping their hand. Good God.

Jeruba's avatar

Maybe he is feeling guilty, but another possibility is that something has just made him realize how much he doesn’t want to lose you. Perhaps something has made him wonder about your feelings. Perhaps someone he knows has just gone through a breakup or lost someone close to him. Perhaps he saw or read something that made him realize (or believe) that expressions of affection mean a lot to a woman and he has been falling short in this area.

This is a single data point. You need at least one other before you can draw a line.

If I were you, I’d take a benign view for now, but pay attention.

deni's avatar

i would just enjoy them :) but i also agree with @Jeruba maybe he heard a song or watched a movie or read a story and it made him realize how lucky he was to have you and now he feels more loving. if it were me i’d simply say back one day “you’re awfully lovey dovey lately!” and see what he says.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Jeruba got to this thread before I did and said exactly what I was going to say.
I just would have been more long-winded!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My first reaction was ‘those aren’t to you and he confused the numbers’ (I know, I’m a cynic sometimes) – my second reaction was ‘someone told him to do these things and that such things would shut a girl up’ (even worse, I know)..I wish I knew the answer.

bigfootprint's avatar

as Ronald Reagen would say: trust but verify, nuf said

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