Social Question

aprilsimnel's avatar

What does "having something to offer for a relationship" mean?

Asked by aprilsimnel (30605 points ) September 17th, 2010

I don’t know what “having something to offer” means. When you say you “have something to offer someone” in a relationship, what do you mean? What are men looking for someone to offer them?

Besides a good lay? I think we can take that as read, thanks.

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34 Answers

NaturallyMe's avatar

It means that you can contribute something to their lives that will make it a more pleasant life for them, relationship wise? It means that you don’t just take what you can from the other person, but also give of yourself to that other person? Something like that.

bob_'s avatar

It means you’re not a total douchebag.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I believe it means you come to the relationship with experience and intelligence ready to give more than you receive. It means physical closeness, not just sex. It means emotional and mental closeness as well.

snowberry's avatar

Like this?

Wanted: Woman who can clean and cook fish. Send picture of boat and motor.

Blackberry's avatar

Know how to cook, be financially independent, mentally stable, humorous, have a big dick, have no kids, be educated, have a decent job or career plan etc.

stardust's avatar

Ready to commit to the relationship, i.e. compromise, growing separately while working together to maintain the partnership, open, loving, giving, etc.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Something to offer…hmmm… like silence and a willingness to do what I say?? Alrighty! ;)

Aster's avatar

How could someone have nothing to offer a relationship? Sometimes a person will be high maintenance and mention you have nothing to offer. I can think of few worse insults.

cockswain's avatar

Like coins or something?

BarnacleBill's avatar

@Aster, someone who would not have something to offer a relationship would be a needy, self-centered narcissistic person who is looking from someone to take care of them.

Aster's avatar

Oh. Thanks, BB.

MissA's avatar

Watch “The Subject is Roses”...a great movie,
perfect for this thread. I think that it’s from the
late 1960s.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think it means that given whatever standards you have, you better have something to offer as well. Too many people say ‘I want someone that’s x, y, z’ but, themselves, can’t offer much.

Coloma's avatar

I can offer a huge trashcan that needs to be rolled up a long driveway every week.

janedelila's avatar

@bob_ I offer a sandwich. You bring one, we trade halves.

bob_'s avatar

@janedelila I’m listening.

augustlan's avatar

Just that you give of yourself. Your love, your time, your consideration. Also, that you are mature enough to sustain a relationship.

janedelila's avatar

@bob_ I have a turkey club on health nut bread.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Also, that you are mature enough to sustain a relationship.

That’s the bit I keep messing up on; I’m not sure what that is. :(

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The times I’ve hear a man say this about a partner then it’s meant he doesn’t see having so financially support that person or the other person comes with a background (maybe educationally) that exceeds his own.

When women have said this about partners then it’s been mostly financial as in the partner is able to offer the women support where they won’t have to work full time, maybe be able to return to school, or the partner is interested to start a family or a business venture.

When it’s been said by a man to me then it’s meant he feels he has more going for him socially and financially, he feels he should be more attractive to me than a man who might not make as much money, have as many accomplishments or luxuries and is jealous I want to pick the “lesser” man for my attentions.

bob_'s avatar

@janedelila No pastrami?

janedelila's avatar

@bob_ lemme look…somewhere, somewhere…got it! Bring me a BLT. no T. extra B

bob_'s avatar

@janedelila Deal. And, um, what’s for dessert?

janedelila's avatar

@bob_ Well, pie!! What else would it be??

bob_'s avatar

@janedelila I could go for some tiramis├╣.

* innocent look *

janedelila's avatar

And I think you better get to eatin some pie! not so innocent.. Can we make a sandwich out of it?

bob_'s avatar

@janedelila Wait, was that double entendre?

Axemusica's avatar

{Wipes brow} Get’n kind’a hot in here, huh?

augustlan's avatar

@aprilsimnel Hrm. That is kind of tricky. Here’s how I see it (I’m sure others might have a different idea). Being mature is about being secure, basically.

The ability to compromise.
Not throwing hissy fits if things aren’t perfect.
Being independent (no need for constant reassurance, constant contact, etc.)
Not throwing in the towel after one fight.
Not being jealous if he so much as looks at another girl.
Taking things in stride (obviously, there are limits… he’s messy? OK, no biggy. He’s abusive? RUN.)

free_fallin's avatar

I take it to mean what attributes does the person possess that can add to a healthy and positive relationship. I don’t need to list things out; I offer myself and everything that entails.

janedelila's avatar

@Axemusica kinda what I have to offer a relationship @bob_ you say you like those. Bring me a sandwich.

amberrae's avatar

Something to offer simply means they are able to be emotionally available, and at a point in their life that they can give as much as get.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Having something to offer, to me, means that you have some possessions, some education, some potential, some skills that would be useful. Having something to offer means you aren’t going to be total dead weight to me.

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