the beauty of the web is there are so many GREAT places for advice/help. in this day we live in the MOST interactive age in history but MOST of it is all electronic.
it does affect a persons quality of life. The funny part is the more you talk to people the more you realize people are so much alike. Not necessarily in their world views etc. or how they look or dress etc. but most people fear only 2 things which are sides of the same coin. Being lonely and not finding love. And its the same for EVERYONE whether you are homely or gorgeous, rich or poor.
Great PDF on it
http://www.shyness.com/documents/2002/2002SITAR.pdf
The Shyness Home Page
An Index to Resources for Shyness http://www.shyness.com/
In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is watching, staring, and judging them (even though rationally they know this isn’t true). The socially anxious person can’t relax, “take it easy”, and enjoy themselves in public. In fact, they can never fully relax when other people are around. It always feels like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or “judging” them in some way. The person with social anxiety knows that people don’t do this openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and judgment while they are in the other person’s presence. It’s sometimes impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the anxiety and fear. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it’s much easier just to stay away from social situations and avoid other people altogether.
http://www.socialphobia.org/current.html
Severe shyness is a complex mix of biology, upbringing, traumatic experiences, and negative self-talk. Severe shyness can co-exist with other debilitating psychological conditions such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, depression and anxiety.
Extreme shyness can take many forms, and can show up differently in different people. Some very shy people have problems being in large gatherings, yet feel comfortable in small groups. Some shy people only feel acute discomfort with persons they have just met, while others are never comfortable around people, even those they have known a long time.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Real5.html
Shy people tend to smile, touch and speak less. In social situations they experience symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, perspiration, and butterflies in the stomach . . . often. Henderson and Zimbardo say that shyness is a form of excessive self- preoccupation.
Shy people think more negative thoughts about themselves, are more likely to expect to be rejected and perceive others as less approachable than less shy people. They are even more likely to forget information presented to them when they believe that they are being evaluated.
In short, the world looks like a scary, unfriendly place, so, ironically, they prove themselves right and often look unapproachable.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Anderson37.html
Many scientists believe shyness is a genetic predisposition caused by the wiring in our brains. This means that if our parents are shy we will be shy as well. Psychologists Bernardo Carducci and Phillip Zimbardo say that there seems to be an increase in the number of shy people. They feel that this increase is due to technological advances that allow for fewer interpersonal interactions. These technological advances include automatic teller machines, voice mail, and the internet (Hendricks, Melissa. “Why So Shy?” USAWEEKEND.COM). The same article states that other shyness experts feel that going online helps those who are socially inhibited improve their interpersonal skills.
http://careerplanning.about.com/cs/personalissues/a/shyness.htm
A FEW EXPERTS TO DELVE FURTHER…
Professor Philip Zimbardo
Dr. Zimbardo shares his well-known work in the area of shyness, a condition that affects nearly 60% of adults
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_2000_August_7/ai_63895198
http://psychology.heacademy.ac.uk/PLAT2004/Keynotes/Prof_Zimbardo/prof_zimbardo.html
http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2007/mayjun/features/zimbardo.html
Bernardo J. Carducci, PhD, a researcher in the study and a professor of psychology and director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast in New Albany.
http://homepages.ius.edu/BCARDUCC/shynesspage.htm
Dr. Daryl Bem, professor of psychology at Cornell
Professor Bem has published on several diverse topics in psychology, including group decision making, self-perception, personality theory, ESP, and sexual orientation.
http://www.parapsych.org/members/d_bem.html
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