Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

Gay jellies: is it annoying to you that Ricky Martin is getting so much attention for coming out?

Asked by JLeslie (60471points) November 3rd, 2010

He not only denied being gay in the past, but went as far as to do a tv special talking about a straight relationship he had.

I feel he did harm to the gay community in the past, so am not inclined to use him as an example of a gay public figure who has helped the gay community.

Don’t get me wrong, I completely respect an individuals right to keep their private life private, and I don’t believe in outing people (unless they are hypocritical polticians who are affecting policy) but he went to such an extreme in his denial.

I am not gay, so I figure I might be wrong in how I feel about this, so I wanted to ask the gay community.

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28 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I feel nothing about it. I saw some of his ‘special’ and thought he was over-acting. I further don’t think celebs are obligated to come out just because they’re queer celebs.

iamthemob's avatar

It doesn’t bother me. What I think is at least admirable in effect is that he came out when and for the reasons that he did – he didn’t want (again, at least as he says) to pretend or deny what he is and raise his kids thinking that kind of shame is okay.

That’s an amazing message, despite any of his past behavior. I don’t applaud him for staying in the closet when he did, but I think the message associated with him coming out now is a profound one, and one that is almost unique in the celeb community.

JLeslie's avatar

@iamthemob he also just wrote a book, so it is kind of part of his book tour.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie @iamthemob It’s called ‘Me’ – very creative.

iamthemob's avatar

gross. ;-)

chyna's avatar

It kinda seems like he wants a pat on the back for being who he is. Meh… I don’t care either way.
I hope all jellies are allowed to answer this, not just members of the gay community?

El_Cadejo's avatar

Im bothered when obviously gay people come out and it somehow catches the world by surprise or garners a lot of attention. Like no fuckin shit he’s gay….

Cammy's avatar

He’s soooo adorable!!! What a waste!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Cammy I never get why people say that – I’m always like ‘yeah, cause that’s why you can’t get with Ricky Martin, ‘cause he’s gay’, lol.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Every gay man or woman has their own path to coming out. I don’t care to judge him; I stayed in the closet until I was 35. Twelve years later, I can firmly say that being out is much better.

@uberbatman : What is obviously gay?
@Cammy : Why is it a “waste”?

JLeslie's avatar

@chyna sure all. I just am most interested on how the gay jellies feel about it.

JLeslie's avatar

@Cammy I find the expression what a waste to be condescending and dismissive. Why is it a waste? It implies you think he is less valuable as a gay man than a straight man?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@hawaii_jake Oh you know, he’s in show business…

El_Cadejo's avatar

@hawaii_jake I could have easily told you 5+ years ago he was gay. Some people just set the gaydar off pretty easily.

Pandora's avatar

@JLeslie Cammy I find the expression what a waste to be condescending and dismissive. Why is it a waste? It implies you think he is less valuable as a gay man than a straight man?
I don’t think people mean it that way. I just think that women are having such a hard time to meet a sweet, successful, kind man that when they see one is gay, they simply know the man pool is one guy less available for straight women.
Same thing women say when they encounter a really nice guy who is married to a shrew. They say what a waste. Not that they always think that person is available for themselves but rather they can see being happy for someone of the same sex who is equally a nice person.
Especially if you have a lot of girlfriends who have a hard time finding a good man.

JLeslie's avatar

@Pandora I think you are right, it is said probably without malice, and is basically saying one less man for us women, but I would guess to gay people it sounds differently. I tend to feel that how the minority feels is what matters. When someone uses the expression “jew down the price,” they may not actually be antisemitic or feel Jews are stingy, but to a Jewish person it sounds bad. The Jew counts, not the idiot who is using the term. Same with flying the confederate flag, trying to argue swastikas mean peace, all of that stuff people try to tell the minority they should not be upset.

Blueroses's avatar

Just the fact that pray away the gay topic is being discussed seriously leads me to believe that any high-profile person coming out proudly can only be good for the LGBT community.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blueroses Well, I have to agree with that. Oprah said to Ricky on her show, “just imagine if every gay person in the world came out, it would change the world.”

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’m with @uberbatman – I never once had a doubt in my mind that Ricky Martin wasn’t gay. Totally set off my gaydar and I just couldn’t believe anything different. I have a hard time understanding how so many people are surprised by his revelation because it’s always been pretty clear to me.

You know, there are several legitimate reasons (at least in my mind) why someone famous would publicly deny being gay, especially up until fairly recently. More and more celebrities are coming out and it’s becoming more acceptable in general. So, maybe he sorted his head out, accepted being gay, and is ready to be open about it now. I don’t know the details, so that’s just a guess.

Honestly, I don’t think a person’s sexuality should be a big deal, so it follows that I don’t think it should be a huge deal when someone comes out, unless they’re feeling ultra-proud and want it to be one. I wouldn’t say it annoys me, though.. pretty much any celebrity that comes out does good for the gay rights cause. It puts faces to the word “gay”, it shows people it’s common and normal, and that you can be gay and be an admirable person, amongst other things.

JLeslie's avatar

@MissAnthrope I don’t think most people are surprised.

iamthemob's avatar

I sure wasn’t.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I am straight and I feel that him coming out is not a big deal. Really who should even care? I am not a fan of him or his music and I could care less if he sells millions of albums or never makes another one again. To me his sexual orientation is not even newsworthy

Joybird's avatar

I wouldn’t blame him. Blame and industry that dictates how someone must present themselves in the name of profits.

mrrich724's avatar

Just be happy for him. The guy lied about it, so what? It’s a very difficult thing for some people to deal with, and who knows if his agents and moneymakers weren’t saying “this isn’t going to make you the big bucks” (which I’m imagining is quite likely considering a good amount of his fan base is probably women who want to imagine him as a sexy hetero)

At least he finally had what it took to come out and gets to enjoy his own life the way he wants it to be!

Besides, was anyone surprised by it?!

Blondesjon's avatar

I get annoyed when anyone feels the need to tell me or the world in general what goes on in their bedroom.

for the record my great-great-grandmother was a lesbian so that makes me 1/8 gay

iamthemob's avatar

@Blondesjon – I think that actually makes you 1/16 gay

christos99's avatar

I’m sure everyone saw the writing on the wall since the late 90’s

downtide's avatar

Nobody here is giving him much attention at all. On the other hand I don’t think anyone was surprised when he came out.

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