Do you ever fart on purpose?

No. As some of you may already know, I find farting highly embarrassing even when I am alone. It amuses me when others do it though!

I’m guessing that the gasman has. ~

No, no, yes, and yes.

Never deliberately farted within earshot of any other human being (even my spouse, who like a typical woman always thinks it’s gross—though accidentally on occasion and only rarely embarrassingly. As with burping, I just say “excuse me.”

Some foods inevitably generate more intestinal gas, and some produce more hydrogen sulfide, mercaptans, and other gases high on the stinky scale. Surprisingly many farts are odorless, consisting mainly of swallowed air not too badly tainted with added intestinal gas. At least that’s been my experience. You can’t just look this stuff up in medical textbooks.

Of course I cannot fart “on command” unless my rectum is already distended with gas—usually not the case, I’m happy to say. High-pressure bearing down against a closed glottis (Valsalva maneuver) to elicit a fart is rarely effective and can be quite harmful.

No – but I would name my cactus Spike.

Nah, foft see :¬(

@mama_cakes Aw, thanks for thinking of me!

Groucho Marx answer : No but I’ve pooed on a dolphin.

Wait… Wait… Wait…

Yes!

Aaaand, the cactus just wilted.

Not really, but I do tend to fart aloud often around my wife. She doesn’t like it too much.

I can’t fart on command or anything, but have I ever let one out in front of my mom before? Hell yeah. That’s because her reactions are funny as hell. The same with my dad.
They’re lucky to have a daughter like me. XD Poof.

Where have the manners gone?!! No, of course not, not on purpose. Everyone should know that keeping in the f**t, squeezing your butt closed works on pelvic floor muscles and you will have better sex.

@Vunessuh you’re my kinda girl. ;-)

@faye That’s good news for me :)

I am the proud father of two boys, one early teen and one pre-teen.

Suffice it to say that there is no shortage of fart humor around my house.

I fart in your general direction!

Why, yes. I commonly break wind at the end of sentences to accentuate my point. :P

But seriously, there are very few people in the world who I feel comfortable sharing my flatulence with.

I’m the youngest out of three childern… with that being said, I once woke up with my brothers ass infront of my face, before I could say anything, he farted~ I yelled at him as he and my other brother ran out of the room. I was 6 at the time.

edit: If I know I’am alone I will fire at will, women fart too you know, we are just more discrete then men.

No. I don’t think it’s all that embarrassing, but it isn’t something I strive to do. My husband, on the other hand, still thinks it is the funniest thing on the planet, so he does it often. Dramatically. Haha, okay okay, it makes me laugh.

And again. :-)

Now that I’m past 50, you would probably think I’m trying to supply the natural gas for a subdivision all on my own. I control it as much as I can in public, but it is exhausting. So I let go at home. Fortunately, whatever I’m eating, doesn’t smell too bad.

Of course I do – it is better than doing it on accident! It isn’t like I force myself to, but I don’t get a lot of choice about when the pressure builds. I don’t generally do it in public; in fact, I would probably die of embarrassment if I did. I try to get into a restroom, my car, an empty room, somewhere alone and get it out.

Only to light them on fire.

@erichw1504 – That is a bonus.

What, you mean a QUARTETTO FARTISSIMO? No, never on purpose!

Farting is one of the tools we as humans evolved into common language. When someone is telling a long and boring story, fart and all his attention is drawn to you. If your walking down the street and someone bumps you thinking your supposed to move outta the way for them, Fart. If your eating a particularly nasty meal and the maker/chef/waiter asks you how it is, fart. It’s kinda like putting up the finger, but not being rude about it…

I never did see farting as a form of communication. GA @Moegitto .

I always saw it as a greedy little pleasure.
sometimes a necessity

@Moegitto Awesome. That would be a funny clip on Conan’s new show.

I just did.

Of course. And there sure are a lot of liars around here.

No. Unless you are talking about about a bunch of bozos sitting around eating MRE’s and grossing each other out. Then , yes.

@YoBob My son is 7. He’s very proud of his ability to do the underarm fart. I’m adapting to more fart humor. I must. I’m also married to a perpetual teenager. Between the boy and the husband, I’ll never win. I won’t even bring the daughter into the discussion.

I can’t. I can belch on command, something my mother never took pride in, I don’t understand why. No farting on command. One of my dogs seems to be able to do it whenever she moves…does that count?

It’s happened. My friends and I can get pretty immature.

The only time I’ve farted on purpose was about a year and a half ago. I had just started dating my then-boyfriend, and he had no problem farting around me from the very beginning, and I made fun of him a lot for that because I’ve always been pretty private about things of that nature. Anyway, he had been trying for weeks to get me to fart in front of him, I suppose so that I would stop making fun of him for doing it in front of me. One day I was laying on his bed on my tummy, with my head propped up in my hands, looking out the window. He came in the room and laid on top of me, and my bum was perfectly nestled against his package. At that moment I felt a fart coming on and thought “hmmmm, he’s been trying for so long to get me to fart in front of him…I think now is the perfect time!”...and I let it go. His reaction was priceless…“it vibrated right on my d**k!!” Well, be careful what you ask for :)

@Frankie You don’t fart on purpose? You missed me on another blog. I’m gonna write a book on how holding in farts lead to human combustion. Holding in gas for so long that your body ignites, it’s like the E=MC2 of 2010, I’m gonna be a billionaire!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Also, I highly recommend Hormels Firehouse chili, that will clear a room and make you lose 6 pounds…

Raising a little boy has made farting more enjoyable.

sure, wait…pull my finger!

Only if someone’s face is near my ass.

So how do you do this “fart on demand” thingy?

@wundayatta You first have tolook at your butt like a gun. If you dont load your gun with rounds, it obviously wont shoot. If you shoot your gun alot, but don’t clean it, it’ll start jamming. You have to “load” yourself with ammunition first (Beans, cheese, milk, beets, leafy green vegetables, fruit roll-ups, gushers, Doritos tortilla chips). Then after the initial firing (of gas), you have to clean yourself out, or you’ll become constipated. :)

At first no….I was too embarrassed until I started hanging out with my friend, and let me tell you..he can pretty much bust holes in your couch, chairs, almost anything his butt is close to when he lets em rip. There so loud, it makes the house shake. I think its hilarious and I’m always trying to out fart him…but I have yet to beat him at his own game :( but he still cant beat me on a burping contest >:) I win him every time. Farting is funny, and in a way, I think it brings people closer together.

But apparently not a human lady.

I’m a lady and I fart. Guess I’m doin it rong

“She’s a rebel and she neve does just what she should…....”