How do you know if you're gay or not?

Well, I realized it by realizing that I wasn’t fantasizing about being Natalie Portman during sex, but rather doing Natalie Portman during sex.

You just know it.

I can’t imagine it is any different than knowing you’re straight or bi or wherever you fall on that spectrum. I personally don’t make a habit of labeling my sexual preferences, but I do remember a point very early in my life where I realised that my friends had “different” feelings toward boys and girls, where I always felt the same way toward both. I always assumed that everyone got butterflies in their stomach from both boys and girls. It is just something that you know.

Short answer: It’s the same way you realize you’re straight. Seriously. Just imagine how you realized you were straight and change the gender of attraction from the opposite to the same sex. Everything else remains the same. Does it make sense?

Long answer: It might not always be exactly the same because gay people often go through more struggles related to accepting their own sexuality or being accepted by others. It’s not uncommon for someone to deny being gay for many years. But the nature of the attraction remains the same.

When I started going through puberty, I began noticing other boys that I thought were cute as opposed to other girls. Thinking about guys in sexual contexts or seeing an attractive guy around school gave me an erection, rather than seeing a girl. If I had a wet dream, it was about a sexual situation involving another male, rather than a female. All of this just told me over and over again that I was gay. I didn’t think I was going to be, in fact, when I first started realizing I thought other boys were cute, I thought that would go away and soon I would find girls attractive. But that never happened. As I got older, it just became more and more clear that I was only sexually attracted to the same sex in the same way a straight person would be attracted to the opposite sex.

Only by realising that I was sexually attracted to people of the same gender as myself. Actually in my case it was by realising I was sexually attracted to people of both genders, as I’m bisexual. I didn’t figure that bit out until I was about 19 – prior to that I was yo-yoing between thinking I was gay or straight, depending on who I liked at the time.

Figuring out who “gets it up” for you.

I like Dennis Miller’s view on the subject. On the Bill O’Reilly show one evening during a discussion about the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy before it was lifted, Miller said: ...“And I’m enamored of any person, a young person, a lesbian, straight, gay guy who wants to go over and kill bad guys for me and my family. That blows me away. So I, honest to God, believe if you ask most of the soldiers, yes, there’d be some kids who say this weirds me. I think the vast majority of them would say, like most kids today, it’s not a big-ticket item for me.

“You know, if you’re gay, you’re gay, Billy. It’s my Dennis Miller theory of homosexuality shot through the movie “Boy and the Dolphin.” If you’re a 12-year-old boy and you’re watching the movie “Boy and a Dolphin” and a 27-year-old Sofia Loren crawls up out of the Aegean Sea after sponge diving, she’s standing there in the deck of the boat in a see-through gauze top, rivulets of water dripping off her torso onto the deck of the boat. If you’re a 12-year-old boy and you’re watching that and you still want to make it with the captain of the boat, you’re gay. You can’t fight that. So it is what it is.”

O’REILLY: I think you should testify in front of Congress.

Sophia Loren, Boy on a Dolphin (1957)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5PtLrZ6C_Q

I always thought love was blind, Its just this feeling to get when your around someone your attracted to. Some people feel a more attraction to their own sex than the opposite. Its what makes them happy.