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iamthemob's avatar

What makes you want to attack other people on Fluther?

Asked by iamthemob (17159points) January 14th, 2011

There’s been a lot about why people leave, when they get fed up with it, etc.

I occasionally get to points where I can’t deal with what I think is BS from other members. I have generally removed myself from Fluther when I felt that way. But I’ve also decided that there are times where I just need to “let go” on individuals that I feel “wronged” by.

We all have times where we know that there are some people we just decide we know we’re not going to get along with. What makes you feel like you’ve done enough to try to relate with someone online generally, or on Fluther specifically? When do you think it’s “okay” to bring down the hammer on someone, consequences be damned?

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53 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

When someone is being bullied, more or less.
The only time I’ve ever come close to being pissed enough to leave was over a thread in which a new member asked a really embarrassing question. A legitimate mental health concern, of which they were obviously already self conscious, and the number of people that came into that thread and said hateful and insulting things just blew my mind. It wasn’t even just that it happened, but the people that participated were those that I would have really expected more from. I almost left, and I didn’t because of the moderation standards on this site.
That was a really disappointing and frustrating experience. Aside from that I really haven’t had any incidents on Fluther that have gotten my blood boiling, but there are one or two members that rub me the wrong way, and I’m sure they know who they are. I just do my best to avoid people that I don’t mesh with, I’m not big on unnecessary confrontation.

lov3xDrnk's avatar

I hate it when you ask for an answer and they give you a lecture on ethics and morals and what they believe. I asked for an answer, thank you.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@lov3xDrnk handy little tip – if you want the conversation to stay on topic and answer your question specifically, post in general. Social allows for a more relaxed discussion.

lov3xDrnk's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie thanks, I already know that. It still never helps.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I hope that I’ve never said anything on Fluther that came across as an attack. I firmly believe that we’re all here to learn, and personal attacks don’t belong here.

I avoid many questions that I know are going to cause contentious debate in many subjects. It’s not in me to sustain a large amount of animosity.

Blackberry's avatar

When people like iamthemob act like douchebags :P Just kidding lol.
I’m always reminded that it’s just a conversation and my life will go on. I don’t think I’ve ever been angry on Fluther any online forum. I have no problem admitting I’m wrong, either.

coffeenut's avatar

Actions have consequences… or real life…..and remember this is a two way street

My reactions are based on others behavior

Others reactions are based on my behavior

Clashes are bound to happen we will never all agree about everything

iamthemob's avatar

@Blackberry hell…I act like a douchebag. I’ll admit that. ;-)

DeanV's avatar

Alcohol and lack of sleep make me attack people.

Personally, myself, I find it very difficult to really get all that angry at anybody here. It’s just the internet. If they’re being an asshole, I guess I just move on. The internet is too big to really for me to really feel like I got to somebody or to help or stand up for another user on a single message board/Q&A site.

Perhaps I’m just cynical.

Blackberry's avatar

@iamthemob Me too, man…me too lol.

Pandora's avatar

Rabies. :D
No seriously I only do if someone started out being an ass to me first. I’ve learned to just ignore them most of the time. I like to think I behave respectfully most of the time even if I don’t agree at all with their comments. The only thing that really still annoys me is when people ask questions that are opinion based and then berate others who don’t agree with them. Or they pretend to ask a question and seem sincere but it was again just a lure to bash someones point of view and start an agruement among flutherites.

wilma's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to attack anyone on here.
I certainly have disagreed with some folks and have thought of replying with snarky remarks, but I don’t because that would be impolite and add to what is sometimes already very rude discourse.
Usually when I am offended by something on here I just retreat and do not add to the discussion. I don’t enjoy confrontation and I don’t come here to be upset. I come here to be educated, to learn about other people, cultures and events. I also come here to have fun. I know that life isn’t all about having fun and certainly I have been involved in some very serious discussions here, but I don’t need any more drama in my life. I have enough of that in person, I don’t need to go looking for it.
I will sometimes PM someone who I feel has been treated harshly, and try to offer support, but I don’t often do it in the thread because the people here, who attack, seem to not care about being kind, only about getting the last word in. I’m not interested in getting the last word in.

In person I might stand up to someone if I thought that they were mistreating someone else. Things seem to be different on the internet. Some people seem to think that they don’t need to be polite. I wonder if they act that way face to face?
I am saddened by all the people who have left.

bkcunningham's avatar

I grew up in a big family, very active in the community and politics. We are all as different as night and day on the things we believe. But we never did and still don’t disrespect each other in discussions. I got caught up in something the other night and said something hateful to someone here and felt so…small and ashamed. I apologized and I still feel bad about it to be honest. I remind myself that even though it is the “Internet” there are real people behind the words. I realize they may not be who they say they are in their profile or their photo, but still real people with real things going on in their lives.

I’ve only participated in one other forum. But it is tightly and strongly moderated, especially with copyright laws and everything in political has to be backed up with a link. Totally the opposite of this site. The language and bashing wouldn’t be tolerated for a minute. We have some of the most intelligent and heated discussions I“ve ever participated in even in real life. Really insightful and educational. People say things that are perceived as idiotic and are told as much. But with a rebuttal of proof, not some theory. I think that is what upsets me the most.

To me, it is just the format of this forum that is frustrating and makes me want to “lash” our or back at someone. I am getting used to it….I hope.

eden2eve's avatar

There are certain people on Fluther who seem to feel superior to others, and who regularly say snarky things to people who, in my humble opinion, have done nothing to deserve their mean-spirited remarks. It amazes me that others here seem to feel that these people are truly as remarkable as they seem to find themselves, when in my estimation they are just a tad above Ted Bundy in excellence.

There have been times when I’ve been tempted to call them on their remarks, and to suggest that they are not nearly as amazing as they believe they are, but then that would make me no better than they are, wouldn’t it? I just try to remember that there is usually a reckoning for such a person, and that it’s not my job to fix them. It’s hard to be patient though. The overall nastiness of some of these individuals is the reason I choose to remain quite removed from the social climate here. Otherwise, I might not be able to control my urges to descend to their level and ridicule them when I find their behavior to be hypocritical, immature and/or ridiculous.

JLeslie's avatar

I, like @TheOnlyNeffie, am dissappointed when someone has a personal concern about their physical or mental health of themselves, or people close to them, and people are rough hand unfeeling in their answers. I feel the same way when it is very young people, who are more vulnerable to criticism being taken very personally. I have in the past asked those people to chill, and think about who they are talking to.

When I feel I am being attacked, or my words being overlooked and twisted, over and over again, then sometimes I snap back. I try not to be mean, but rather defend myself, but at times I fail, and probably seem obnoxious.

Also, when I fluther on a bad day, like the last couple of days sucked for me in my personal life, I am less able to rise above it all when discussions derail.

Berserker's avatar

When someone pisses me off. It’s happened. But I don’t lash out, even if I feel like it. I consider myself too, maybe I was the one being an ass. So it’s just not worth it, and whatever the reason and whoever is right or wrong, fighting is just bullshit anyways.

DominicX's avatar

When I see hypocrisy, I am tempted to attack someone because of it. I can’t stand it. There’s nothing worse.

Fred931's avatar

when they is all like ‘hey man u dnot know shit an im like ‘yeh u just a pozer n all yeAh’ and the be hating

Cruiser's avatar

Anybody holding paintbrushes just makes me want to go animal!! Even Mods can’t stop me!!;)

Axemusica's avatar

Crickets. Gaahhh those things just get under my skin.


cockswain's avatar

I used to attack anyone I thought was being an idiot. Gradually I lost interest in wasting my time doing that. Now I just occasionally tell someone to fuck off or something and really could give a shit if that bothers the “victim.”

If you can genuinely be insulted on this site, I mean genuinely, it can really only be by someone you’ve grown to care about.

EDIT: Just remembered that sometimes a good insult at the right person at the right time can be really funny.

mammal's avatar

The first time i came on here, i found a question relating to the execution of Somali pirates by Navy Seal snipers who wanted a swift conclusion to a hostage situation, well Obama ordered it, so i don’t blame the Seals, but anyway, the subsequent thread was devoted to the lowliest form of back slapping triumphalism. i attacked that most vigorously and then got moderated so i attacked that too, maybe it was an unfortunate introduction, but standards seemed to improve and threads became more civilised, for the most part.

lillycoyote's avatar

Nothing. I don’t attack, do I? I can be something of a smartass sometimes but I don’t attack and if I do, if you think I do, any of you, then please let me know because I can and should be able to make any argument for or against whatever it is without attacking anyone. If I can’t or don’t then I need to revisit my approach(es).

augustlan's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever attacked anyone, before or after becoming a mod. About the worst thing I’ve ever said was something like, “Dude. Seriously?<< That’s me being dumbfounded.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I don’t deliberately attack, but sometimes I have disagreed with someone and s/he has inferred malice where none was intended. I do sometimes call people out on comments that I find egregious, sometimes in a snarky way, I don’r mean to attack, but maybe it seems that way. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone… <hangs head>

downtide's avatar

I don’t think I have ever wanted to attack anyone personally; not on Fluther, not anywhere else on the internet. I do step in and attack prejudice or bigotry when I see it.

mammal's avatar

seriously i think people are far too apologetic on Fluther, for goodness sake, it’s a bit prissy.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I don’t attack. I figure only fool argues with a fool and just let the comment pass.
I also figure the person making a comment out of character has something else going on in his life. Family pressure, illness, depression, finances, etc. Let it go.

I have a several friends battling prostate cancer in various stages. Some are on hormones, some have other issues. Their personalities completely change depending upon the drug therapy they are on. We all know to just give it a pass when someone says something inflammatory. It’s the drugs talking.

One guy is on a very strong drug that is effectively turning him “into a woman” (his words). He says he suffers from: sore nipples, enlarged breasts, hot flashes, strong emotions, the urge to watch daytime TV, and the inability to pass up a shoe sale.
Sometimes he is on a hair trigger and lights up at the smallest thing. He can say and insult any of us but we will never take offense. It’s the drugs talking.

mammal's avatar

@worriedguy sure, some women might find the characterisation of women a bit on the general side, i’m guessing most of the women on fluther for example, but sure, a bad day can turn bigoted.

cockswain's avatar

an attack on this thread, veiled in the cloak of passive aggressiveness. how ironic.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t ever feel the need to attack, unless it’s in defense of a friend. Just for myself I wouldn’t do it. I don’t think. Hey…what constitutes an “attack” anyway?

Austinlad's avatar

When I returned to Fluther after a brief hiatus, I resolved to either shy away from threads that engender terribly polarized positions or at least to state an opinion (based on experience, if possible) and then duck. Fortunately, there’s never a shortage of fun and/or thought-provoking questions which don’t raise controversy and which I feel better qualified to comment on.

bob_'s avatar

Subpar sandwich making.

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augustlan's avatar

[mod says] Please take the private bickering to PMs. Thanks!

chyna's avatar

When they use ++++ instead of and.

iamthemob's avatar

PS – the moderation above is hilarious, considering the topic of the thread. Necessary, but hilarious.

VS's avatar

I don’t feel the need to attack anybody and hope that I have never come across that way here. On a Q&A site I used to frequent, I did get into a little verbal sniping at an old man about the harmful versus harmless effect of pot smoking. His son smoked a little, and the old man had cut him out of his life as though he were some heroin-shooting serial killer. I told him he was wrong and he would regret the divide he had created with his son, but it was no use. He was a stubborn old man who could not see the harm he was doing to his whole family for his inability to see reason. But I just tend to let things go, and be thankful that I have a nice life off the internet.

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ll attack anyone that fucks with my friends if it’s totally uncalled for.

I’m loyal. What can I say?

mammal's avatar

@jonsblond what if it is your friends that fuck with you?

Axemusica's avatar

Um, then they just hash it out until they’re exhausted and everyone goes and get’s some Cheese Cake, Duhhhh.

augustlan's avatar

It always ends in food.

chyna's avatar

That’s why meta is my favorite section. It does always end in food. Like cheesecake.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Especially the mod-bashing threads. Sorry, @augustlan et al, but I love the mod-bashing threads because of the culinary discussions!

Aethelwine's avatar

@mammal Fluther friends? They aren’t my friends if they’re fucking with me with ill intentions. I don’t surround myself with a**holes. Luckily I’ve rarely been fucked with by those that care.

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