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Jreemy's avatar

What should I do about this girl?

Asked by Jreemy (168points) April 17th, 2008

Ok, there is this girl I have been into for some time, but lately I have started to get closer to her. She seems to be getting closer to me as well. She always sits beside me, or asks me to be beside her. We have been going to some competitions, and when they are announcing winners, she grabs hold of my hand with all her strength. She also rests her head on me frequently and even fell asleep on my shoulder during two car rides. I am not sure if we are just developing a deeper friendship, or if she is into me as well. We have been friends since we were about 5. During the school day she either follows me, or tells me to wait for her. I am just afraid that if I ask her what her feelings for me are that we will lose the friendship that we have both established with each other. I honestly feel that I may love her. I have never felt this way about a girl before. I am not sure what to do. And if I do make the leap, I wouldn’t know what to say to her. Any suggestions?

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22 Answers

iwamoto's avatar

i already get a soft feeling in my underbelly. uhm…yeah…what to do, i guess you could slowly try to get closer to her, see what happens when you wathc a movie, and you put your arm around here, that’s a small hint, not too dangerous…

loser's avatar

just ask her how she feels!

iwamoto's avatar

well, he could do that, but there’s the danger that it would change the entire relationship, and i understand he doens’t feel like risking that

amandaafoote's avatar

Go through a friend to ask? One of your friends ask her friends, your friends ask her, maybe ask her friends but they would tell her so there’s a risk with that too

sleuth9216's avatar

going through a friend is low she will lose respect for you, if you’re going to ask her, ask her straight up

scamp's avatar

Tell her about your feelings first, then ask her how she feels. All the clues are there. I think she is waiting for you to make your move. Good luck!

LuckVIII's avatar

Don’t go thru friends cause then everyone will know that you like her thereby creating an awkwRd situation. Try put ur arm around her when you watch a movie. If she snuggled up then it might mean something. If she stiffens up or is quite then remove ur arm and make a joke about you wanted to what it like if you two were dating

LuckVIII's avatar

don’t ask her straight up becuase she might be confused as well. With a friend’ you share all you’re feeling while if you’re just dating some things are better left unsaid

Babo's avatar

Tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t feel the same way, at least she’ll probably be flattered! And you could tell her that it’s not your fault if you have good taste in women! Sometimes you just have to take risks. And if she feels the same way… She might just be waiting for you to make the first move!

Jreemy's avatar

How should I go about telling or asking her though?

8lightminutesaway's avatar

Welllllll, I was in your exact situation, back in the day. Friends for a long time, I fell in love, couldn’t tell her forever, we got really really close just like you guys, and I didn’t know how she felt. I eventually told her how I felt, and I pretty much got shutdown. She basically just said ok, waited a second, and was like, oh did you think I liked you? Anyway, a couple years later, the same thing happened again except that this time she liked me back. We were really great for awhile, then some stuff happened I won’t go into, and now we’re wonderful friends again.
Our friendship, is as you described, we’re very close and physical, but just as friends. However, I wouldn’t be sure if its the same as with your girl, we are both very strange and unique, and I don’t know anyone else with a relationship like ours. people think we’re weird.

IMO, after having been shutdown doing the same thing, telling her how you feel is the best way to go. Really great friends are honest with each other and don’t hide things. You’d tell her if you had a crush on someone else right? Well this time it happens to be her. Tell her how you feel. I’m betting that if you’re careful and really open to discussion, you’ll still be friends if she doesn’t feel the same.

scamp's avatar

If you are really close to her, it shouldn’t be too hard. Don’t forget, this is a girl you’ve known all your life. It’s ok to be nervous, but just tell her you need to talk to her about something serious. then start by telling her how much you value your friendship with her. Tell her you are beginning to have stronger feelings for her and you’d like to know how she feels about it. Tell her that most of all, the friendship is very important, and you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. Tell her you don’t want her to feel pressured ion any way, and if she doesnt feel the same way, you won’t push anything she doesn’t want on her. If she loves you too, it will make it easier for her to tell you, and if she doesn’t, she won’t shy away from you.

If she only wants to be friends, don’t be surprised if things are a little awkward for a while. But carry on as usual, and you can get past that. Let us know how it works out for you.

DS's avatar

if you fell comfortable being a friend with her why do you want to get more out of her?

chaosrob's avatar

You don’t “love” someone you can’t have an honest conversation with.

8lightminutesaway's avatar

true dat chaos rob. Yeah, i said true dat. What are you going to about it?

Jreemy's avatar

I believe I will share my feelings with her tonight. We shall see the outcome.

Babo's avatar

Good luck!!!

8lightminutesaway's avatar

let us know how it goes?

netspencer's avatar

oh. What a clasic situation. Um. I would say just wait a bit longer. It seems like u both are doing the same thing. Getting closer to eachother slowly so its not to abrupt and the other won’t notice. If u just sorta let the situation flow naturally what to do next will become much more clear to u.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

go watch made of honor and then say damn if you ended up getting engaged and ask me to be yours I’d probably do the same thing and see her reaction :)

skfinkel's avatar

It sounds to me like she might like you. I don’t know how old you are, but I would shy away from the word “love” for a while.

Jreemy's avatar

Yeah, turned out she just wanted to be friends. Why? Because we have been friends for so long. Oh well, at least I tried, and thanks for everyone’s input.

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