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chelle21689's avatar

Is it a bad sign if infatuation fades very quickly?

Asked by chelle21689 (6995points) March 24th, 2011

Just curious about other people’s opinions on there. I’ve had huge crushes before in high school with guys I know I couldn’t have. But whenever I’m “talking” to someone or getting to know them I don’t get infatuated or it’s very short lived.

My ex was my friend and when we first dated I wasn’t that attracted but gave him a chance. I grew to be more attracted and loved him but I never daydreamed or had butterflies for him. I felt like I skipped the infatuation stage.

With the current guy I’m seeing I had major butterflies for a month. I daydreamed obsessively about him. It’s been a month now and I don’t feel nervous anymore. I am still interested and would like to get to know him though. I’m attracted.

I guess my infatuation is very short lived. Kinda sucks cuz the feeling is fun haha.

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6 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

I can’t recall ever being infatuated with anyone I’ve ever dated. Maybe I was infatuated when I had crushes as a pre-teen…But not once I matured.

Personally, I don’t think of infatuation as healthy. Desire, longing or attracted to…healthy.

It sounds to me like with your current BF you have matured. You are attracted and are still in the “getting to know you” phase of your relationship.

chelle21689's avatar

Oh, he’s not my boyfriend. I think he has boyfriend potential but I still don’t know enough about him but I don’t get nervous or have butterflies Sometimes I get super happy when he calls but not as much anymore. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel now. I actually don’t remember how I really felt with my last ex when I wasn’t infatuated…I just know I went with the flow because he was a good guy.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel now. If he’s not your BF and you’re just hanging out then you should feel as though you would with any new friendship.

Get to know him. Relax, and don’t over analyze the situation.

aprilsimnel's avatar

These are the stages that most people (at least in Western cultures, AFAIK) go through in the course of a romantic relationship. The “butterflies” or limerence, go away in order for a mature relationship to progress.

chelle21689's avatar

But I hear usually infatuation lasts a few months in that stage of a relationship, haha and this is only the first month! With my ex I slowly grew to love him…very slowly.

crazyivan's avatar

That’s kind of the whole point of infatuation. It let’s you overlook the faults of a person while you’re getting to know them. The infatuation is supposed to fade quickly and if there’s still substance to the relationship you pursue it.

I also think this is why so many people have so much trouble with fidelity. They get addicted to that infatuation stage and sacrifice meaningful long term relationships just to get to feel the butterflies for a month or two.

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