Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

Do you believe there's always one person that cares more in a relationship?

Asked by chelle21689 (7008points) April 17th, 2011

I see that it’s pretty common. I guess it’s not that they don’t love them but it seems like there’s always one person that tends to put a lot more into the relationship. Shouldn’t there be a “push/pull”? I don’t know…what do you think?

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8 Answers

KateTheGreat's avatar

Most of the time.

But I believe that both people should care about each other equally. It’s sad when there isn’t that sense of equality though.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sure, it’s like that in some relationships. Also, in all other relationships, it might be more that ‘I care more right now’ and ‘You cared more then’ and it changes.

zenvelo's avatar

In long term healthy relationships, it isn’t always one sided. Sometimes it’s one, sometimes it’s the other. Each brings strengths to the relationship, that help each other grow and thrive.

john65pennington's avatar

Under ideal conditions, a relationship should be 50–50.

But, lets be honest with ourselves. One partner generally takes the lead a little more than the other partner.

My wife and I have alwayws attempted to be 50–50, but sometimes that is not possible, if we are not together and I have to make a decision without her input. It also works in the opposite direction. But, since we have been married 45 years to each other, we both know pretty much how the other thinks, so a decision is generally accepted by both of us. This is called teamwork.

I must say that each of us do attempt to contact each other, before a major decision is made. Once we both agree, then it’s OUR fault for the outcome, no matter if it’s right or wrong.

aprilsimnel's avatar

@john65pennington, but do you ever feel that either you care more about your wife than she cares about you?

Or that your wife cares about you more than you care about her?

I think that’s the question.

I remember a whole Seinfeld episode about this, where George wanted to be the one who cared less, because the one who cares less has more power in the relationship. He called it “having hand”.

Kardamom's avatar

I just don’t think it’s possible to have a 50/50 relationship with anyone. Love and life are not a mathematical equation. There’s always going to be one person who gives move and the other one that takes more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some people have more to give in the first place than the other person.

When the trouble starts is when one person (usually the giver) doesn’t get enough, and/or the taker takes way too much. There has to be a mutually agreed upon quotient in every relationship. And in every relationship, that quotient will be slightly different.

50/50 is an ideal. But most, if not all, happy couples, are able to work out their own situations in which someone gives more, but is OK with that. As long as both parties are OK with the distribution, then it’s OK. If they’re not OK with the distribution, then they either need to make a change or break up.

tinyfaery's avatar

Someone said that all relationships are 60%/40%. The equality comes in how often you are changing places.

seazen_'s avatar

Sure, it’s only natural. Emotions are irrational and unique; like snowflakes, there cannot be two people with the exact same feelings. About anything.

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