Social Question

Facade's avatar

So how is it that misogynists fall in love with women?

Asked by Facade (22902points) May 5th, 2011

Does that happen? If so, how?
Can they really be in love if they don’t respect women?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

janbb's avatar

All kinds of sick people fall “in love” with people they actually hate: I don’t see why misogynists would be any different

cazzie's avatar

I don’t think love can exist without respect. Any feelings a misogynist may have for a woman will lead to an unhealthy relationship. I have no doubt.

Hibernate's avatar

They may not have respect in the beginning but that can change.

Love changes a person.

cazzie's avatar

a person doesn’t change so they can love.

downtide's avatar

It’s not the woman they fall in love with. They fall in love with the power-trip they get from controlling her.

Facade's avatar

@downtide Very good point

josie's avatar

I always figured they didn’t

tom_g's avatar

“fall in love with”

I think you need to demonstrate that this is even possible. They get married. They do all kinds of other things, like spend their days throwing their own feces at the wall (I would imagine). But I’m not sure their version of love is recognizable.

Facade's avatar

@josie I guess we won’t really know, but think about men within cultures that view women in misogynistic ways. Plenty of them are married; I wonder how many love their wives?

janbb's avatar

I think it’s simplistic to say that misogynistic men hate all women and cannot love one woman, just as a racist person may love a Black or a Jew. Very often prejudiced people make an exception for the ones they know. (Not that I’m defending misogyny in any way.)

gm_pansa1's avatar

I wouldn’t think so.

Blueroses's avatar

It’s an interesting question. I think it speaks to the difference between love and “in” love. I love pizza, baby bunnies and the color green but I don’t expect to have an equal or lasting relationship with any of them.

atomicmonkey's avatar

Good question. I suspect that a true misogynist is unable to experience love for a woman as we would define it. They would have a compromised, limited definition of love. Also, I don’t think getting married is a relevant measure of love.

A true misogynist probably enters into a relationship with a woman because there is a cultural expectation to do so – or a desire to obtain a domestic slave, to relieve loneliness, to dominate someone on a daily basis. They may well become dependent on their partner, and they would probably classify that dependence as ‘love.’

But they are wrong, because they are an asshole.

incendiary_dan's avatar

In addition to the spot on observations by lots of people (especially @downtide ‘s answer), I put forward a quote from Derrick Jensen (that I may butcher):

“When you hold on to a hate long enough, it doesn’t feel like hate anymore. It feels like tradition, religion, law, just the way things are.”

lonelydragon's avatar

As @downtide said, they don’t fall in love with the woman, but with the power trip they get from controlling her. And, I would argue, they are also “in love” with the idea of sex on demand. You don’t have to love or respect a person in order to sleep with him/her.

downtide's avatar

I think @atomicmonkey‘s answer is dead on too.

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