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toleostoy's avatar

What are the stages of drunkenness?

Asked by toleostoy (282points) May 13th, 2011

If there were stages of drunkenness, how many would there be and what would each stage be named assuming one begins with sober?

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40 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

For me. 1) sober
2) passed out

marinelife's avatar

1 Sober
2 Mildly inebriated (happy)
3 Seriously drunk (slurring speech, laughing)
4 Out of your mind drunk (doing things you will be glad you don’t remember)
5 Passed Out

Coloma's avatar

I never get past the “pretty damn happy” but still in full control of my senses.

Mine would be sober, pretty damn happy, bedtime with snacks. lol

ucme's avatar

Who/where/what am I?
Suck thumb & fall asleep.

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Cruiser's avatar

The last stage of drunkeness is naked as a jaybird!

erichw1504's avatar

Sober, holy crap she’s hideous
Buzzed, wow, she’s ugly
Tipsy, she seems… nice
Mildly drunk, hey, you’re a cutie!
Drunk, hello, hot stuff.
Extremely wasted, OMG, do me now!
Blacked out, the next morning: “WTF?! I slept with HER?”

mazingerz88's avatar

My 12 Stages of Drunkeness

1. Barack Obama
2. Peter Pan
3. Brad Pitt
4. Ace Ventura Pet Detective
5. Bruce Banner
6. The Hulk
7. E.T.
8. George W. Bush
9. Jon Stewart
10. Ron Jeremy
11. Martha Stewart
12. Donald Trump

erichw1504's avatar

My 3 Stages of Drunkeness

1. Alan Harper
2. Jake Harper
3. Charlie Harper

YoBob's avatar

Well, they change with age. When you are over 40 they go something like:

1) Sober as a judge
2) Mildly relaxed
3) ZZZZzzzzzzzzz…..................

However the 20s are much more interesting ranging from somewhat sober (except for what is left over in the system from last night), up through “WOOOOOOH!!!!” (Otherwise known as the universal party word), to waking up the next morning next to somebody you don’t remember with bruises that you don’t know where they came from.

The 40’s are better…. ;)

Blueroses's avatar

1. Sober
2. dissolution of social awkwardness
3. I’m beautiful and fascinating
4. I love you, man!
5. Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
6. Who moved that wall right in front of me?
7. I’m gonna hurl
8. Stop spinning the room!
9. Walk of dehydrated shame and hope nobody took pictures.

erichw1504's avatar

1. Sober
2. Buzzed
3. There’s a lamp shade on my head and my pants are missing.

ucme's avatar

You know you must have been rat arsed drunk if you wake up next morning with this dude! He’s naked & begging for more :¬(

blueiiznh's avatar

@noelleptc I know two versions bowling for soup or lannen fall
The glasses pile higher
I find it hard to stand
Take a number, take her hand
Our hips are hugged together
I hear her whispers roam
As she drags it out there:
“Drive me home”

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erichw1504's avatar

@noelleptc The Killers rule!

erichw1504's avatar

1. Sober
2. Buzzed
3. There’s a tiger in the bathroom and I have a missing tooth!

blueiiznh's avatar

so for me.
Overly Talkative
Fall down-Go Boom!
How did I get here?
More Oxygen please!

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blueiiznh's avatar

@noelleptc thats def Killers!
previous reference to Drunk enough to Dance
Bowling for soup
Lannen fall

erichw1504's avatar

1. Sober
2. Buzzed
3. Hmmppff.. I dun… I dun kno wherr I are.?

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blueiiznh's avatar

@noelleptc PMPLOL (pee my pants funny)

erichw1504's avatar

The first time I got drunk it was like this:

1. Sober
2. Blech! Natty Light is nasty!
3. Hmm, after 3 this ain’t so bad.
4. Whoa, where we go now?
5. I dun no how many me had…
6. I’m really good a beer pong!
7. BBBLAARRGH I’m gunna need a bigger trash can.
8. Sleep time, whoa the room is spinning.

erichw1504's avatar

@blueiiznh you have created a new term: PMPLOL. Love it.

Blueroses's avatar

@blueiiznh Yep! It could only be better if it were Pee In My Pants Laughing Out Loud cuz then you get to say PIMP LOL

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erichw1504's avatar

Mine was the same for my 21st except replace 8 with “woke up next to Betty White in a hammock.”

DominicX's avatar

1. Sober
2. Buzzed
3. Tipsy
4. Soused
5. Stinkin’
6. Boris Yeltsin

Generally, I don’t like to get much passed stage 4, but man, I’ve been passed it before…and because I’m a lightweight, I often skip whole steps… :P

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erichw1504's avatar

@noelleptc That’s how I roll.

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_zen_'s avatar

Sober. Giggles. Funny. Feeling and acting funny. Only I think I’m funny. Flunk. Asleep.

erichw1504's avatar

Sober & happy
Buzzed & happy
Tipsy & happy
Mildly drunk & happy
Wasted & happy
Throwing up & confused
Hangover & miserable

_zen_'s avatar

You throw up and get confused? That’s usually the clearest point of the night.

erichw1504's avatar

@zen Maybe for you, but I’m usually wondering why my shirt has smelly gooey stuff all over it.

Coloma's avatar


LOL…so true! I was just joking about this last night when my daughter and her boyfriend wanted to come by around 8:30 to borrow a book I have. I had 3 beers, did a bunch of my outdoor farmy chores, made a little dinner and sat down to watch the end of a DVD I feel asleep on the night before!

Holy shit! That’s all it took, some activity, a few beers, a light dinner and I was dozing off at 8: 30….sad! lol

I did manage to roust myself and hang with the kiddos till about 10..but I was so completely out of it the whole time. haha

YoBob's avatar


LOL! Yep, last night I got home a few minutes before the rest of the family and decided to take a bit of “me” time on the patio with a rum and coke and some chips and salsa. After the wife and kids got home and said hello the kids hit the shower and I laid down to relax for a moment. The next thing I knew my wife was waking me up to tell me it was time to say goodnight to the kids!

Oh to be young again! OTOH, who the heck wants to deal with being young again! ;)

Blondesjon's avatar

LOVE/HATE – Don’t Fuck With Me
1st Break
2nd Break
9 Minute Rant
3rd Break
In The Fade

filmfann's avatar

What a troll.
I wouldn’t fuck her with your dick.
She’s a pity fuck.
She’s a cow, but seems cool.
Hey, your funny!
I feel the same way about Scorsese!
I don’t know why everyone rags on you. You’re perfect!
I’m not sure if I can get it up.
Hey, sorry! You want me to wash the vomit out of my mouth, or is it cool to keep kissing?
Can you stop the car? This isn’t a car? Can you stop the bed?
We need a crash cart!

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