Social Question

blueberry_kid's avatar

Is it weird falling for someone at a young age?

Asked by blueberry_kid (5957points) May 20th, 2011

Well, I asked out my friend a while back (4 hours) and I just felt like we needed to be “closer” so to speak. (Not in that way.) We’ve known eachother forever and he likes me like I like him.
So, when I asked him, he said yes because you’re sweet, very nice, and very cool. But he also said no because he doesnt like my friends that much.
I guess I’ve kind of fallen for him now because I can’t stop thinking about him. I like him soo much. My question is though is it bad that he said both yes and no? Should I change really anything about myself? Is this weird? He’s just the perfect guy. Am I asking the right question? Am I crazy?

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12 Answers

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Age doesn’t have much to do with it. Maturity does though. If a guy insinuated or asked me to choose between my friends and him, I’d choose the friends.

BarnacleBill's avatar

What are your friends like? If you run with a bunch of stoners or slackers, and he’s not into that, then he’s going to say no. Or vice versa—if your friends are kinda nerdy, and he’s not like that, then he might feel uncomfortable around nerds.

Sometimes you have friends who are your friends because they’re the only people that will take you in. The real answer to your question lies in, why are your friends your friends? And why doesn’t he like them? If you are known by the company you keep, what does your choice of friends say about you? I don’t mean that in a bad way.

Sometimes guys will get into a relationship with you and expect you to change. This guy is at least honorable and honest, and is refusing to get into a relationship with you because something that’s important to him doesn’t match up.

Bellatrix's avatar

I agree with everything said here but I would also say, you aren’t crazy, you aren’t weird and you should only EVER change something about yourself if you feel it is the right thing for you to do for yourself. So, unless you do the analysis @BarnacleBill has wisely suggested you do, and find perhaps your friends are not the sort of people you feel you should be hanging out with, then no, you shouldn’t change just because a boy (any boy) asks you to.

I would also say though, why do you have to give up your friends for him? You can have friends of your own and still be together. It is healthy to have your own friends and outlets even if you are in a relationship. Often when we get together with someone, we forgo all those other friendships and relationships we have. Our SO becomes the key person in our life. I don’t think that’s especially healthy though. Having other interests and people we can go to makes us more rounded and interesting. So, think about if you really do need to give up your friends or whether you can just see them in your own time. He doesn’t have to share every aspect of your life.

marinelife's avatar

Chances are that he was using your friends as an excuse, and trying to let you down gently.

So I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

If he likes you, he will like you in spite of your friends. If you take a look at your friends and there is nothing wrong with the people you hang with, then shrug and move on. You will find someone else to like.

blueberry_kid's avatar

@BarnacleBill He thinks my friends are loud, too smart, and obnouxious. He even said to me “I like you alot most of the time, but the people you hang out with ruin it.” I talked to him later that night and I guess I made it worse by asking him why he said no. He told me suck it up and let it go because he had girls he asked out and they said no. But I just couldn’t get over this because I truly think that I’ve fallen for him. Im thinking that I really am crazy because I think and talk about him all the time. I never stop thinking about him. I mean, of course I love my friends better than a person like him, (agreeing with @marinelife ) but he makes feel different. Maybe I am crazy

marinelife's avatar

@astrix24 You are just “in crush.” It will pass.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It doesn’t sound like you made the situation worse by asking him for clarification on how he felt. That’s just good communication. While the response was rude unpleasant, it’s better to know how he really feels on the front end.

And no, you are not ‘crazy’. Most, if not all of us, have felt the same way at some point in our lives. Something to consider: if the roles were reversed and you didn’t like his friends, what would you do?

Just out of curiosity, how does he make you feel different?

Julietxx3's avatar

Don’t change who you are for a guy, if you really like him that much, talk to him about it and what you can do to make it work out. But the Spice Girls make a good point, “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Guys come and go but friends are there forever. (Best Friends at least)

Julietxx3's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Great Answer! And so true!

Julietxx3's avatar

@astrix24 I read some of the responses above, and this guy kind of sounds like an ass! You shouldn’t let anyone talk to you like that, or talk about your friends like that! What I would do, move on. But I know it is easier said than done. I went through the some thing a few months ago (thought the guy never said anything rude to me) I did end up talking to him and we started going out again and still are ( : If you really, really like him, and he really, really likes you, things will work out! But don’t push him too hard. Good luck!

blueberry_kid's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer He makes me feel so much more happy. He makes me laugh and when Im sad, he wont call me a crybaby. (Though he may sound like he would say that). And we’re pretty close friends. I just feel good around him. Is this a normal thing?

Sunny2's avatar

How old are we talking about? I had crushes on guys since I was a second grader. I think you can probably love someone at any age. It’s what you do about it that makes a difference. Friends is always the place to start, no matter what age you are. Friends often love each other, but as friends.

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