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ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Have you ever seen a church billboard or sign that stuck with you, whether it was good or bad?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (25249points) May 29th, 2011

Although I am an atheist, I like reading the little billboards and signs that most churches post out front. Many of them are comical or clever, some are downright stupid, and I even find some to be inspirational.

Recently I was in my parents’ town driving past a church and their sign read: “Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil, it’s pointless.”

I was, and am, offended. I don’t think that I’m easily offended, but that sign struck me as bold and frankly, nasty. Do any of these signs jump out in your memory? Maybe because they were offensive, or maybe they were funny? Please share.

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23 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m also curious to know if anyone else happens to agree with me that this particular sign was a little bit on the ugly side, or if I’m just being sensitive.

@anartist would you mind sharing any of them?

Michael_Huntington's avatar

“Google doesn’t have all the answers”
Yes, and a book about a fictional invisible tyrant has all the answers to life’s mysteries.~

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@anartist haha, that is funny!

anartist's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf where is your link for the ugly sign? Or is it one of mine?
O I C—you described it.

knitfroggy's avatar

I am an atheist but I saw one once that said:
Honk if you love Jesus
Text while driving if you want to meet him.

It made me laugh so hard, I just loved it because I’m so against texting while driving. I wanted to go back and get a picture of it, but I never did.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Oh, no, I don’t have a link. I actually saw the sign while I was driving last week. I didn’t take a photo.
It said “Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil, it’s pointless.”

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

The attempt at wit in the billboards and lettered great signs that are put out for display by religious groups just makes me laugh. It’s a nice mental break while driving, and I wish I had captured photos of them like @anartist has done. I’m pretty sure that you would get a kick out of them.

Edit: I just Googled this, and there are some doozies. Link I haven’t looked through all of them yet, but the one that says, “Sorry Christians…It turns out the Jews were right” has me laughing so hard that I need to go find a tissue to wipe my eyes.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer some of them are absolutely hilarious. I wonder if there is a source that provides ideas for posts, or if every church happens to have one really witty person to do their signs every week.

laureth's avatar

“Real Men Don’t Get Teenagers Pregnant”

For real. What the heck?

ucme's avatar

One local parish church had this peculiar message to say…..“Jesus nailed it & so can you.” I figured they were promoting self confidence within their “flock.”
Unless it was an advertisment for local carpenters ;¬}

janbb's avatar

“What’s missing in Ch_ _ch?” outside our local Methodist church.

obvek's avatar

How about the Jesus Christ is Lord (and not a swear word) truck stop outside Amarillo? I think this is an older version of the sign.

TexasDude's avatar

Children are like canoes, they work best when paddled

-From a church down the street from my ex girlfriend’s house.

everephebe's avatar

@laureth No of course not, that’s what gods are for. How old was Mary again?
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Canoes also work best when you’re in them…?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Gosh….I saw one once…what was it…It tied something not smelling good with the word “pew.” It was cute! But I can’t remember what it was!

SuperMouse's avatar

The best I ever saw was in the background shot of a church scene on the sitcom Raising Hope, it said “Don’t make me come down there. -God”.

augustlan's avatar

There was this house in the historic district of my old town, and on their white concrete front steps, was a spray painted message in big, sloppy, red writing. On the steps, in descending order:


Everyone who saw it always missed the bottom step because it was hidden by cars parked on the street. “Jesus saves Romans!”

A bumper sticker that pissed me off: “Real men love Jesus”

We have those “Don’t make me come down there.” billboards, too. At least they’re humorous.

Coloma's avatar

My local fire dept. sign is always amusing, right now it is reminding us of forest fire season…

” 30 feet to clear our fear” lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Jesus DOES save Romans! I mean…when was the last time you saw one? They’re all safe somewhere. See Auggie.

Nullo's avatar

“We’re not here to make Earth a better place to go to Hell from.”

@ANef_is_Enuf The sign was aimed to be poignant, but not insulting. For a Christian, at least, a life where your function is to make more of you and/or you do what you like until you die forever is pretty ugly. Cosmically, your existence is pointless; on the other hand, you are rather important to God.

@Michael_Huntington Ignoring your gross (and unfair) oversimplifications, the sign was saying that the Bible had the answers to important questions that Google didn’t, not that it had all of the answers. In fairness to Google, you can search for a Bible with it.

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