Social Question

cockswain's avatar

Has facebook ever caused you to gradually dislike someone you used to like because of the quality of their posts?

Asked by cockswain (15271points) July 3rd, 2011

I’ve found that people I was either neutral about, or sometimes even liked, have become unappealing to me based mainly on the pompousness of their facebook posts. Has such a thing ever happened to you? It’s happened to me with about 12 people.

Please describe the lameness if you wish.

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34 Answers

incendiary_dan's avatar

No, but it’s certainly contributed to the other things they were already doing to make me dislike them.

TexasDude's avatar

Sort of. It actually let me know that I dodged a big bullet by getting stood up by this one chick.

I knew this girl back in highschool and we reconnected about a year ago via facebook and I asked her on a date. She stood me up hardcore and I was upset for a while until I started seeing her posts.

Some examples:

The world just keeps shitting on me.

People wh0 talK llyKe diS… ! Should seriously just die. It makes me hate you, and I don’t even know you…

I love when people lie to me about the smallest things, its just the cherry on top of a fanfuckingtastic day.

Ass and titties, ass and titties, ass and titties, and big booty bitchez.

Like, thirty goddamn statuses about her boyfriend saying shit like “I wish I never met you” where he would grovel to her in the comments section. The next day “I luv u so much babi, i cant live without you.”

Basically, she’s retarded and her statuses just confirmed this to me.

dabbler's avatar

An acquaintance posts meals, what’s she’s wearing, what someone else is wearing, seeing a cranky person on the transit, being a cranky person on the transit – you name it.
It’s hard to describe how that erodes the appeal of the relationship, but it cetainly lessens the need to actually see the person.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar


I wouldn’t be surprised if I have driven people away by my Facebook statuses, though. My internal filter always kicks in too late.

athenasgriffin's avatar

Yes. To the extent that I avoid using facebook except for a quick (five minute) check once or twice a day. I want to stay up to date with my friend’s lives, but at the same time, I feel no need to tell everyone exactly what I think about them every ten minutes. It annoys me how people have no discretion anymore. I use the anymore in the most figurative sense because I’ve never been alive in a time when people did use discretion.

Coloma's avatar

I deactivated my FB acct. about 2 months ago.Yes, a few people became soooo boorish, I mean HOW Many pictures can you post of yourself posing in the most appealing way, is it REALLY necessary to announce your EVERY thought and movement 24/7?

Do you really need to say ” Good Morning” EVERY morning? haha

I kind of enjoyed it for about a year, but, it lost its appeal quickly, Fluther is much more fun, entertaining and less stupidly shallow.

I call facebook ” My Face.” It attracts some serious narcissists. lol

TexasDude's avatar

Protip: you can “remove” posts from your feed so that you never have to see the postings of that individual again. I did this to the chick I mentioned in my original answer. I didn’t delete her as a friend because I want to keep her around for potential trolling purposes.

linguaphile's avatar

I only check FB maybe every 3 or 4 days—after living in 7 states, it’s really nice to get tidbits from people all over and just keep the thread of connection there. I keep FB for that reason and do post statuses here and there.
However, I HAVE had to “hide” some people’s status posts. I got tired of 1. the Bible being quoted in a scolding or obscure way every day, or Jesus being praised for every single miracle (car starting, empty seat, etc) 2. Their meals 3. Their kid’s 3rd tooth, 6th poop of the day, first jar of carrots, etc 4. people who talk like FPCB’s “friend” and 5. stoners who talk about the dayumn fucking’ beeest purple profanity they ever got. Now, I didn’t realize some of the people I knew were that much of stoners… not a good thing to have on a teacher’s FB page, eh?? LOL!!!

mazingerz88's avatar

Might get criticized for this reason but I started disliking one or two friends who post nothing but photos of their kids and talks about nothing but their kids.

redfeather's avatar

Yes. This one girl always complains in her statuses. One was “can everyone just get the fuck away from me? Seriously.” so I deleted her. Haha

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@redfeather that was considerate of you. lol.

linguaphile's avatar

@mazingerz88 I get that… I have kids, I love my kids to the moon and back, but I don’t worship their every move and feel the need to announce every single one. I also love some of my friends who do that on their FB, and it did help me understand their lives a bit more. I was hurt because one friend was never available to go out for coffee, but all her FB posts about her kids sort of let me know exactly why and I was less likely to take it personal. It helped me be a little more compassionate.
That being said, I still get it…. even if it’s not PC to say so!

Bellatrix's avatar

I have only discovered FB (in the sense that I have bothered to post there) in the last few days. So at this point no.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say ‘dislike’, but maybe I’ve lost a bit of respect for some people, yes. “God this, God that.” “Repost this or you’re a horrible person who doesn’t care about ‘Merica/support our troops/want to cure cancer!” “Yippe! We killed the terrorist! Here’s a picture of Lady Liberty holding his decapitated head!”

Stuff like that bugs the shit out of me.

SABOTEUR's avatar

I treat Facebook much like I do Fluther.

To begin with, I only “friend” people I know.
(I don’t know many people.)

And then, I only read what I want to read.

Now, I’ve accepted friend requests from people who post things I have no interest in.
I’d “un-friend” them, but it’s really not worth hurting someone’s feeling over.
Even then, no one’s post anything so egregious I’ve come to dislike them over it.

Plucky's avatar

There have been a few people, who reconnected with me, who I kicked off my Facebook recently. Pretty much for the same reasons @augustlan, @linguaphile, and @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard stated. I never talked to them any ways so I highly doubt they noticed. It was hard for me to do too

For the most part, I don’t have anyone I dislike on Facebook. There are several whom I’ve lost much respect for though. Some are ones I already had low respect for. Others are family members I rarely see, other than Facebook, so I learn how they are there.

My biggest issues with Facebook are mostly younger people in my gigantic family. Over half of my Facebook friends are family members. I get tired of hearing about some big party wherever and who’s getting plastered. Reading about the romances of teens/young adults gets really really annoying. I usually end up blocking them from my news feed.

Out of my friends, there is only one who types out every single thing he does or is going to do. He has ADD and not many real friends (but his friend list is huge). I’ve known him since I was 16 and he kind of grew on me. He’s got a good heart but a big loud mouth. His brain does not usually kick in until after his mouth has opened. He’s like an annoying special brother to me. He’s the only one on Facebook that annoys the crap out of me who I will most likely never kick off.

cookieman's avatar

Yup. I’ve either unfriended or blocked a bunch of people for…
VagueBooking: Posting obvious cries for help such as, “Well I guess life can’t suck anymore” or “Well now I’m screwed” – everyday!! I refuse to get sucked into an impromptu therapy session on a public forum.

FaithBooking: Thanking Jesus for every little thing, posting bible passages and mentioning how much better off we’ll be if we give our lives over to the lord.

MinutiaBooking: Just so we’re clear, I do not care (in the least) about what your eating, watching on TV, or your trips to the bathroom.

PolBooking: I’m fine with discussing politics. I’m annoyed with using FB as your personal soapbox to rant endlessly about your (mostly misinformed) political views.

I’ve unfriended or blocked about 50 people whom I previously “liked” as a result.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the group of “friends” I’ve had to edit the least…Fluther people. Fellow jellies rarely to never do any of the things above.

roundsquare's avatar

Only one person, but it was more of a loss of respect for him. He posts about politics a lot, which is fine. But, he can’t talk about liberals without calling them “libertards” or something else similar. It didn’t take long for me to realize how closed minded he is… I’m still friends with him but I’ve lost respect for him in some ways.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@cprevite Good post…nicely written. I found your comment concerning your Fluther friends on Facebook interesting. Do you think their demeanor is due to already having a place to go online that’s specifically suited to express their opinions?

cookieman's avatar

@SABOTEUR: I hadn’t thought of that, but you make a good point. Being part of Fluther affords you the opportunity to talk about problems in your life, religion, politics, etc. and get (generally) good feedback in return. Maybe that leaves FaceBook as a place to be a bit more celebratory (“Hey, I got a new job”, “My daughter’s graduating today”, and so on).

In addition, being used to Fluther writing standards maybe makes us think a little more before posting something on FB.

I don’t know. What do you fellow jellies think?

cockswain's avatar

Honestly, that was one of the things that appealed to me about this site. I had things I wanted to discuss more in depth and quickly found facebook to be totally unsuitable for thoughtful discussions. Fluther definitely provided me that outlet.

cookieman's avatar

@cockswain: Had you tried engaging in a thoughtful discussion on FB? If you did, what happened?

TexasDude's avatar

Facebook has also convinced me that the English language is dying.

Go to any random page and read a conversation. 9 times out of 10, they are almost indecipherable.

cockswain's avatar

Oh sure, bunches of times. I’ve had limited success, and usually the thread petered out even faster than on here. Not to say I haven’t had some great discussions on fb, but overall I don’t think it’s a good venue for it. I think most peoplee don’t come to fb to have a good discussion, just have a few comments about something more lighthearted. So be it. I think Fluther’s tagging system makes a big difference too.

But I have had fruitful discussions on politics, media bias, economics, and science related things on there. Just infrequently. More often I found the lack of rigor unsatisfying, and if I’d like to have a (hopefully) better discussion on a topic I bring it here.

laureth's avatar

Yes. My aunt is this sort of person.

Previously, my aunt was just my aunt: a lady in my family, 20-some years older than me, who I thought was bland and relatively nice. Now, seemingly every day on her Facebook there’s some kind of “copy and paste” status that she gets from her bevy of “me too!” friends, that implore us to re-post “if we care.” You know the ones.

If she had as many original thoughts as “me too!!1!” statuses, that would be much better. I don’t mind hearing how her life is going. But even what she had for lunch is better than ”...I have a personal reason for asking that you put this as your status for one hour if you are against cross-country puppykicking! Do it for the babbys! Under God!”

cockswain's avatar

I’m generally in agreement with all of the above reasons everyone gave for hating fb posts. Anyone who frequently posts about the weather, their meals, brags too much, is intentionally vague hoping to draw pity/attention, posts the copy and paste ones alot, or just posts too much per day generally gets blocked. If they are a closer friend or someone I see, I usually won’t defriend them since I’ve found that people can get pretty butt-hurt about getting defriended.

The people who I thought were OK that then never posted anything funny, creative, or thoughtful got on my nerves. I actually lost respect for people who just post cheesy, boring stuff. Probably overly judgmental of me, but to me it reeks of a lack of intelligence combined with low self-esteem. If you have nothing interesting to say but just say something hoping to be noticed, I think you are a loser.

cockswain's avatar

Oh, and posting misinformation, particularly political, and then refusing to consider any info that shows how they have posted bad info makes me lose huge respect for someone. Close mindedness is not cool.

dabbler's avatar

@laureth “re-post “if we care.”” Oh ! I hate those!
In the email too. I NEVER forward that kind of thing and if I respond at all to the sender it’s to tell them that I NEVER forward that kind of thing.

I had a friend who thought she was just the most clever because she had a few dozen things to forward every day. I just had to put all her msgs into trash directly, she wondered why I didn’t think they were fabulous. Ugh!

cockswain's avatar

I find those ‘post if you care’ really obnoxious too. Like if I don’t repost some useless anti-child abuse bullshit that accomplishes zero, it means I’m heartless and want to see children abused.

On a slightly related note, I find such an appeal to pity similar to something that happened to me recently. We went to a movie, and the cashier asked if we wanted to donate to money for whatever cause. We didn’t, because we didn’t feel like it. Before the movie started, a couple teenage ushers came in and reminded us of the charity and held the theater captive while they asked if anyone else would like to make a last minute contribution. No one raised their hand, and the kids stood there. Finally someone gave a couple bucks and they went away. I did not like that tactic. I make plenty of charitable contributions, and while I realize this is a useful way for them to raise funds, I don’t like the in-your-face style attempt to play on people’s guilt.

cookieman's avatar

I would donate a dollar if I could watch cross-country puppy kicking.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I actually have lots of long discussions and conversations on my Facebook page… some of my statuses have hundreds of replies.

Aethelwine's avatar

^^they do :)

I have removed a few people because of what they post on Facebook. I had one friend who was either always bitching about someone or something or bragging about how drunk she was. ugh She’s no longer a friend.

I’ve come very close to blocking the status of my SIL because she’s one of the “good morning everyone, it’s a beautiful day, smile!” people. She does this every day unless her cat pukes and her kids are complaining about who gets to play Xbox first, then she’s a unhappy camper. another….ugh

I do tend to post a lot of stuff about my kids, but I am a mom, and I mainly use Facebook to keep in touch with family. sorry friends, didn’t know you hated my kids so much :P

roundsquare's avatar

Wow, I wonder if people my age (who got onto facebook when it was still expanding college by college) will use facebook to talk about kids as much as people do now. I have a feeling we won’t because we got over the amazement of facebook long before we have kids.

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