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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Kissing but no sex, or sex with out kissing, which is worse?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26783points) July 19th, 2011

Over my life’s travels I have met a lot of people and it never cease to amaze what people think. I met a woman once who said she was fine if her B/F dipped on the side with another woman just so long has he didn’t kiss her and especially not with tongue, and that it was understood if she found some guy really hot and wanted to boink him she could, just so long as she didn’t kiss him. She explained it to me that kissing was more intimate, which is why prostitutes do not kiss their Johns. She viewed the sex as just a mechanical act for pleasure. I also met a woman who said she could forgiver her B/F if he was making out with some other woman so long as he did not grope her and certainly if he did not boink her. She viewed the sex as giving all of yourself to whom you were naked in bed with. I know to many BOTH choices are poor choices, if you had to choose which one was worse than the other, would sex with out kissing or kissing but no sex be the worse?

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35 Answers

roundsquare's avatar

I think sex w/o kissing is worse that kissing w/o sex. In my life, things progress from nothing to kissing to sex, so I view sex as “further along” than kissing.

Also, to add an example, I know a girl who has no problem if her boyfriend sleeps around but would kill him if he had an intimate conversation with another girl.

megzybrahh123's avatar

Defently sex without kissing is better.

zenvelo's avatar

Worse in what context? If I had to choose, I’d rather have sex than a kiss.

marinelife's avatar

What do you mean worse?

Sex without kissing seems mechanical.

Porifera's avatar

Sex w/o kissing? Can’t even picture that—unless it’s a prostitute and her client.
Kissing w/o sex sounds more fun if I ever had to chose.
As far as being OK with my bf doing either. I don’t think so. Don’t like sharing my partner not even for kissing much less for sex.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Worse as in my spouse doing it with someone else, sex (with or without kissing) because we agreed to be only with each other. Kissing someone else would still be a bad thing in our relationship, but going all the way and having sex would be crossing a big line.

Worse as in, which would feel more like something was missing in our relationship, sex without kissing. We kiss without having sex all the time (though sometimes the kissing leads to the sex), but to have sex without kissing, that would feel weird to me because it adds so much to the experience.

john65pennington's avatar

Since I have never been in either situation, I cannot answer this question.

Porifera's avatar

@john65pennington I’m sure we all have —kissing w/o sex—. In our teeange years ;)

redfeather's avatar

I’d rather have kissing without sex. Sex without kissing just feels yuck. Like neither of us cares.

bob_'s avatar

What about oral sex without kissing? Sounds like a reasonable compromise.

redfeather's avatar

@bob_ if someone asked me for a bj but could we skip the kissing and get right down to business, I’d laugh and leave

Pandora's avatar

I’m not a guy so either is fine with me. I love the romance of kissing without sex. It builds up sexual desire. And as for sex without kissing. Thats fine as well.
However, my husband said the kissing without sex was definetly the worse after the kissing stop when we first were dating.
But if I could for some insane reason I had to give up doing one of them because I would die, than I would have to give up kissing but no sex. Although I’m sure that it would really be enticing and all to kiss one more time and I may slip and kiss because it would be the new forbiddent fruit. Goodbye worlllllllllddddd!. MWWAH!

gailcalled's avatar

(“Defently”... Yay. A new way to misspell “definitely.” It’s been a while.)

john65pennington's avatar

Poriferia, wait. You care correct. When I was nine years old, this girls kissed me under a bush in her back yard. Yuk!

wundayatta's avatar

Sex or kissing? Do I know the person or not? If it’s someone I don’t know, then I’d take kissing. If it’s someone I have know for a long time—say my wife—sex without kissing, while not preferable, is something we have done on occasion. I can deal with that, although it wasn’t as fun as it would have been and was a sign of the distance between us.

Hibernate's avatar

Better go with sex without kissing. One can get turned on a lot by kissing and having to stop there… well it’s lame.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Kissing but no sex.

bob_'s avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Are you saying that is worse, or you’d prefer that?

OpryLeigh's avatar

Sex without kissing is worse.

Porifera's avatar

No sex and no kissing is the WORST.

Only138's avatar

I gotta go with the SEX. Kissing is totally optional.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I lurve kissing

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@marinelife What do you mean worse? Worse in the sense if you done it with others that was not your partner or visa versa.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve never met a real live person who feels like your description gal. I think both scenarios would be a turnoff for me though. I want to kiss the person I have sex with and anyone I’d kiss, I’d only kiss deciding ahead of time that sex would be an option.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Sex without kissing would make me well like I was using my partner for my own pleasure with no intimacy.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence Sex without kissing would make me well like I was using my partner for my own pleasure with no intimacy. That is why the woman in question had no compunction of knowing her partner boinked another woman if she was not available to do the deed, because so long as their lips never meet. If they didn’t swap any spit, it was all just an act, a function of release. There was no love, emotions, or feelings connected to it. Then it was more like he was using her as a sperm sponge than cheating.


Kissing but no sex is worse than sex without kissing. Personally, kissing is nice and sweet but sex is grand. Kissing then having no sex is like going on a slow roller coaster ride without the fast and exciting dips, twists, and turns.

lizardking's avatar

That is a very good question, I love to kiss but if I had to make a choice a great BJ beats out a kiss any day.

beancrisp's avatar

Why hasn’t the question been sent to editing?

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