How do you feel about the Twilight series?

It’s a girl thing. I can’t stand them. The last good vampire series was Buffy.

@Rarebear Ugh, not this girl.

I gotta go to bed, but you can probably expect a long rant from me in the morning.

I agreed to read the series on the recommendation of a female friend.

It seemed passable until the guy started to twinkle, then I lost interest.

It did seem to be a fantasy about having two men, one who was a bad boy and one who was a devoted nice guy.

I find what little I know of the series to be terrible, and making fun of these glittering vampires has become an already overplayed meme.
It also makes most think that people who are fans of vampires, jumped on the bandwagon when it started becoming popular. Although I’m not a fan of them, I can understand why people who were fans of this type of undead before it was “cool”, could be getting annoyed.
You also see people pointing out how much it makes the “heroine” of the series seem pathetic, unable to handle life without a man there to give her life meaning. Then they usually couple this with the writer being a female Mormon, making it seem as though they are the stereotype that people might take them for.

I personally have not read the books or seen the movies, but I am looking forward to this latest installment, ever since I read a summary of each of the books.

SPOILERS! In the third book, there is apparently a point where the female lead falls down some stairs while pregnant, and is then saved from dying by her beau, via turning her into a vampire. (Or half-vampire, I forget) Then, to rescue her unborn child, he rips open her womb with his teeth, saving the baby.

I’m wondering if this is something they’ll remove. If they don’t, it’ll go down in cinematic history I’m sure.

Never read the books and I’ve only seen the movies because they are absolutely amazing when you’re high because they’re soooooooooo terrible. So, my opinion on the movies is this: acting is terrible, there is very little character development, edward is ugly, pretty much no plot…...I could go on for a while.

@Prosb I saw the last one where she “has” the baby and that is not at all how it is in the movie. It’s more of a normal C-section except she’s dying and the baby is a demon lololol

“I gotta go to bed, but you can probably expect a long rant from me in the morning.”

This should be better than any of the movies in the series. ;-p

I appreciate the latest release, because it’s drawing a lot of the crowd away from one movie I might like to see in a theater: http://movies.yahoo.com/

I read the first one not very long after it came out. I didn’t actually finish it. I read most of it, but it took me forever to get through, and then I ended up just giving the book back to my friend whom I borrowed it from and said I’d finished it. I think it’s pretty awful. Stephenie Meyers sounds a bit off as well, but that’s beside the point. The storyline doesn’t interest me, it’s cliche in the worst ways, etc. Not much everyone else who dislikes it hasn’t said already.

I don’t think it’s bad because “that’s not what vampires are supposed to do!!!!!” While I may not think that kind of vampire is particularly interesting, I understand that the vampire is a very old fantasy creature which each person who tells the story usually changes. I don’t care if Edward sparkles or not, I don’t care if he only eats non-human animals. My qualms are with the storyline and characters just being vapid and idiotic.

And the movies! I can’t even imagine someone who likes the books truly enjoying the movies as anything but satire! My friend made me watch the first one and she got mad at me because I kept laughing. I wasn’t doing it to be rude. It was just the most comical thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t think Robert Pattinson is typically a bad actor, either. It was just the most ridiculous thing I can imagine.

@martianspringtime There’s a scene in the most recent one where they’re feeding Bella blood to keep the fetus happy and it shows Edward throw an empty blood pack into the trash can, then it cuts back to him and her talking or something, and then it cuts back to the lid of the trash can closing. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

The books are basically one repressed woman’s sexual fantasies laid bare for the world to read. It says a lot about American literacy that they are so popular here. As for the “if he abuses you, it just means he loves you even more” message that the story presents, it makes me worry about Stephenie Meyer’s home life.

It’s a jinie tickler for young teens.

Sex and violence go together very well, I’m not surprised it sells.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh! I can’t stand them. Seriously, why is this shit popular? Going beyond the horrible message that the only real love is a really abusive one, Meyer can’t even write. What editor decided to not throw a thesaurus at her? Or maybe a couple writing classes?

But really, the popularity worries me, especially when it’s the only thing some teens read. It’d be much better if it appealed more to the type of teen who consumes many and varied descriptions, so that they could then have a better basis for critically analyzing the messages therein, but it seems to pretty specifically appeal to the exact opposite type – teen girls who don’t read in general but made an exception for this series. And then they don’t have as many different role models for what relationships to look like. And it’s not the portrayal of an abusive relationship (which I’m fine with, and even embrace sometimes, so long as it portrays it as an abusive relationship) but how Meyer normalizes and idealizes this type of relationship, repeatedly calling both the relationship and Edward “perfect”. (Seriously, did Clippy the Annoying Microsoft Word Assistant not introduce any new terms to you, Meyer??)

Also, I give you a complete run-down of how Twilight is really just pro-LDS propaganda. It’s hilarious (even if you don’t agree).

I think it’s overhyped.

I don’t follow it… though I wanted to see the camped people and give them cupcakes

Pooooooooop

One of my kids enjoyed the books (for the story, not the writing), but laughed her ass off when she watched the movies. She said they’re so horrible they’re funny. She does kind of think Bella is a twit.

I just can’t understand why people are so obsessed. I watched the first movie, and I may have seen part of the second movie, I can’t remember. I haven’t read the books, but I read parts of them… and they’re pretty awful.
I don’t really get into vampires and other fantasy type stories, to begin with, but these stories suck.

I never read any of the books but I saw all the movies for what could be pathetic reasons for a 43 year old in watching a teen pic. Vampires and werewolves. Yeah, I was that desperate. There’s trillions upon trillions of the same reason why the books and the movies made money…untapped teenage hormones. Well, now consider it tapped.

I knew it would be a big hit after two girls talked about the coming first movie for 3 hours straight in a bus trip. Have you ever heard virginal giggles and muffled shriekings for 3 hours?

Okay, so…..I have read and seen them all. Why do that when they make my blood boil? I started on a friend’s recommendation, and I finished because 1. the part of me that likes arguing and ranting was amused and 2. in a strange way, I felt like I needed to keep an eye on them. I wanted to know about the no-good they were up to.

That said, here’s, to the best of my recollection, a (very biased) summary of the series for those who aren’t familiar:

So your narrator is Bella, who has ridiculously low self esteem. If you asked her to describe herself, she’d say “nothing special” and “clumsy” and “awkward” and “average” and “wallflower.” So she’s just starting at a new high school, and for some reason, even though she’s so “average” and “awkward,” EVERYONE IS IN LOVE WITH HER. So I guess you’re supposed to conclude that she’s actually awesome and perfect but she’s just, like, super humble and stuff. Aww. And with a name like ~Isabella Swan~ how can you not be awesome and perfect?

So then she meets this guy Edward, who’s like, so mysterious, because he doesn’t talk to anyone except his family. And he’s soooo perfect and beautiful and pale with a chiseled jaw and shit, and it’s totally love at first sight. Except he acts all weird around her and starts avoiding her. But then one day she almost gets hit by a car and he comes ~valiantly to her rescue.~ And then she finds out he’s a vampire, and the reason he’s been avoiding her is because her blood smells, like, really, really awesome, and he doesn’t want to hurt her because he’s a ~vegetarian vampire~ which means he doesn’t kill people, only animals. And then they’re totally in love. Except he’s constantly fighting the urge to horribly main her. That’s totally a healthy relationship.

So, Bella’s life becomes all about Edward, because he’s just so perfect and beautiful that she can’t possibly spend a minute of her time not worshipping him. And she ditches all her other friends.

And Edward’s life becomes all about Bella, and he climbs in her window at night so he can watch her sleep. Because that’s what a good relationship is like, and it’s not creepy at all. Oh, and he’s always watching over her, because she’s like so fragile and shit, and left to her own devices she would certainly accidentally kill herself. What a good boyfriend.

Oh yeah, and all that vampire lore about sunlight being deadly? Nah. They don’t die. They just ~sparkle.~

Um. I think there’s some kind of plot, too, but I don’t remember it. So that’s book one.

So in book two, Edward starts to feel all guilty about the fact that he and his family are constantly fighting the urge to slaughter his girlfriend, and he decides that she’d actually be much safer if he wasn’t in her life anymore. So he leaves her. Because he’s like so altrustic.

And she FLIPS THE FUCK OUT because she can’t live without Edward. And it’s a big deal, because their relationship is, like, so mature and deep, so it’s way more important than other highschool breakups.

So she starts hanging out with a dude, Jacob, who actually, like, treats her like a human being, but that’s boring so she still misses Edward. Oh yeah, and Jacob is a werewolf. And werewolves are the ~sworn enemies~ of vampires. And werewolves do this thing called “imprinting” which is where they have a soulmate and when they meet their soulmate it’s love at first sight. And he loves Bella, but doesn’t imprint on her.

Then she discovers that she hallucinates Edward’s voice when she’s in danger (or something?), so she starts throwing herself off cliffs and walking in dark alleys alone and crashing motorcycles and shit so that she can ~be with him again.~ Because that’s healthy.

Then for some reason Edward gets wrong information that she had died, so he decides to kill himself because they’re totally Romeo and Juliet, you guys. But she finds him somehow before he does it and is like “surprise! I’m alive!” so he’s like super happy and shit. And that’s book two.

Then in book three, she finds out Jacob loves her too! And so she’s like, so sad, because two guys love her. How sad. But she only has eyes for Eddie sparkle-pants. But Jacob is, like, her BFF, so she feels so bad for hurting him. Having a lot of guys love you is really hard, you guys.

Also, she really wants to get it on with Edward, but he’s like, so principled, and he won’t do it before marriage. Also, he’s all worried that he’ll hurt her when they do it, because vampires are ~super strong~ and stuff, and she’s just a fragile little helpless girl. So she’s like, “turn me into a vampire, and then we’ll be together forever and ever!” But because Edward is so principled, he doesn’t want to make her a “monster” like him. He’s worried about her soul, see.

And that’s all I can remember about book three.

In book four, they graduate high school, and then immediately get married! Woo hoo, they can finally get it on! But they wake up the next day, and Bella’s all covered in bruises because of Eddie’s ~super vampire strength!~ So Edward is all self-loathing as usual, but Bella doesn’t care. She’s just mad that he doesn’t want to fuck her anymore because of it. You can bruise me all you want, baby.

Oh, and on their honeymoon, they play a lot of chess (don’t remember if this happens in the book, but it’s in the movie). And Edward always wins, because he is smarter and better than her in every way. Except Bella wins one time! Oh wait, that was just a dream sequence.

Then she finds out she’s pregnant with a little blood sucking fetus! And it’s pretty much killing her from the inside out. But she couldn’t possibly consider an abortion because the fetus probably looks exactly like a teeny, tiny version of Edward. I mean, come on, sparkly babies. Then there’s about 400 pages of Bella sitting on a couch, even weaker and more fragile than usual.

Then she almost dies! So Edward performs a caesarian WITH HIS TEETH and pulls little baby girl out, who Bella decides to name Renesmee(!?), and Bella decides it’s a good idea to try and nurse a vampire, and her baby bites her on the boob and she almost dies again! And Edward is left with no choice but to save her by turning her into a vampire. But that’s fine because that’s what she wanted all along!

So now she’s a vampire and she’s totally happy because she gets to spend eternity with Edward! She has to ditch her human family though, but who cares. Also she’s a totally cool vampire and doesn’t even really feel the urge to kill people, probably because she’s, like, so principled and stuff. And her infant can talk and read almost immediately, because vampires are so cool.

Oh yeah, and Jacob? Whatever happened to him, anyway? Well at first he was really upset that Bella went through with marrying Edward. But then he imprints. ON. BELLA’S. INFANT. Because that’s normal and not weird at all. So now Jacob gets to be part of the family too! And everything was beautiful and nothing hurt!

Then, in a super exciting and suspenseful climax, there’s going to be a big vampire fight for some reason! But instead they just line up and stare at each other and don’t fight. Cool climax bro.

And they all live happily ever after! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

^That was fucking hilarious.

@Mariah I just jumped off a cliff and typing on my iPad…waiting for my vampire sweetheart to catch me before I hit either the rocks or the water whichever…al…mo—st…t her…e…oh shit no one’s com…ing! Unreliable bloodsuckerssss!!

I haven’t read any of the books and I didn’t enjoy the first film enought to watch the rest.

@Mariah Um. I think there’s some kind of plot, too, but I don’t remember it. No, no there isn’t. Also, go read the link I posted – you will die of laughter, I promise. Also, I luuurve you.

@Aethelflaed Oh god, that was brilliant. Thank you for bringing that to my attention [laughing].

@Mariah Any time.

Let me answer this question with another question: do I like being tortured?
I find the books awful. I don’t like romance books in general. They make girls think that true love is easy to find and everything about it will be perfect. Sorry. It won’t. Now I sound like one of those broken woman who hate men because so many have dumped her. I’m not, I promise.

@Mariah Ha! You should review other bad movies too.

Nice overview, @Mariah The only reason I’d check the books out is because I love vampires, but I’m more into classic vampire literature, (stuff from the 18 and early 1900’s) and I’m going to assume that this will not fit my tastes at all. I don’t know dick about the series though, but I have to say, seems very unappealing to me. I’m not even sure that my 15 year old self would have been very interested.

@Symbeline Bring your 15 year old self in a film showing and guaranteed you’ll be surrounded by zombies of a different kind. Bring an ax.

An axe that glitters in the Sun!

@Symbeline Who said that? Not all that glitters is gold. I bet that writer never thought of vampires as one of them. And your ax. Lol.

’‘pulls a Gimli’’ AND MY, AXE!!

Sorry. XD

@Symbeline Just target the shriekers and squealers. The rest are still productive members of society. :P

The only good books are for Buffy, as well as the television show.