Social Question

Male's avatar

Any ideas as how to approach shy girls?

Asked by Male (1353points) November 29th, 2011

I heard shy girls are the hardest type to approach…if you can get a shy girl, you can get any girl. Supposedly, they’re hard to read and hard to make progress with, which I strongly believe in both. When you’re talking with a shy girl, you can’t tell if she’s interested at all…or at least it’s difficult to. If you make a move too assuming, she’ll clam up and shy away. So how are you supposed to read and approach her? I’m not sure if she’d want you to come on direct (since she’s shy and you complement her), or if she’d rather you approach her indirectly. Or perhaps something else entirely?

Anyone with experience, please share.
Anyone without experience, give me your input. It’s appreciated.
Any female that considers herself shy…your input would be awesome.

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6 Answers

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Every person is different…shy or not. Is there a particular female you want to approach? If so, why? What attracts you to her?

Mariah's avatar

I’m “shy” in the sense that I am extremely sucky at small talk and therefore have a tendency to avoid conversations with people I don’t know. So for someone like me, it would help if you were able to lead the conversation.

Think of your conversation partner as an individual, not just “a shy girl.”

CWOTUS's avatar

So I guess if you can get a shy girl in New York, then you can get any girl anywhere, right? No, that’s nonsense.

The difficulty in approaching any girl with romantic intent is mostly in your own head. Oh, a princess locked away in a high tower and guarded by a fire-breathing dragon, or one trapped under a witch’s spell, they might be literally difficult to approach. Outside of fairy tales, however, it’s all on you.

If you think you can work out “a successful process” for approaching girls and young women, then you’ll never have success with any of them at any time or in any way, except maybe as a telemarketer or politician. Even then, your approach would only work to sell something to them or con them out of something.

Here’s what works, from over a half-century of generally successful experience:

Just be yourself. If they don’t like the “you” that they see, then thank them for the meeting and move on. There’s no sense in trying to be someone that you’re not to win someone who thinks you’re someone that you can’t be most of the time. Follow that? Just be friendly and interested and genuinely “you”, and see what happens. Don’t think that you can “win her” in some way by playing a part or putting a move on her. Girls tell stories about those guys for the rest of their lives, and they laugh at them and shake their heads – not in the good way.

everephebe's avatar

Quietly from downwind.~
Being direct and charming rarely hurts..

blueberry_kid's avatar

I’m not shy, I’m a social butterfly. But a couple of my friends are. Their boyfriends were close friends with them before they asked them out.

Get to know the girl first. See what she’s like for a while, then drop the bomb on her. She’ll know you so well, and won’t be anymore shy around you than when she met you. Don’t worry about it man.

15barcam's avatar

Shy female right here. Or used to be shy female. Whatever. Anyway, I used to get really embarressed when a guy complimented me right away. Infact, I responded the best to akward questions like, “Wow it’s cold outside. Do you like the cold?” Yes, I know it seems stupid, but your best bet is to go into the relationship as a friend and nothing more. Talk about something you know she is interested in. If you can get her to tell you a few sentences about something, you’ll know your making progress. You should know when it’s the right time to make a move. That is, if your persistent enough! :)

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