How to find online friends?

Fluther... ;^)

Forums. Find some on topics that you're interested in. That's always worked for me.

i am a part of alot of advice forums and also game forums but the problem with forums is you just talk about one main thing in forums

Hmm... about half a year ago, my buddy list in Adium (combined MSN, AIM, YIM, and Google Talk/Jabber) had grown to about 3,500 individuals. But... I don't know where I accumulate all these people, maybe I'm magnetic?

(I have since 'broken off' and just started new accounts for all messengers, just to get rid of that monstrous fluff of people whom I didn't even remember)

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do you want to meet them online and then talk in real life or just talk online??

meet online and then talk in real life

You can start with this kind of site, because you will find that certain names keep popping up on the same pages you are visiting, and then you might exchange private notes via the profiles and ultimately that could lead to exchanging IM and email info and maybe someday meeting in person too.

I signed on to the iPling app for the iPhone but I'm having some technical issues with it... but it seems like a cool concept: you create "circles" based on particular interests you have, and then you can see the other people with those interests on a Satellite map image. You can then "Pling" someone from that screen just to chat and see where it goes. I'm hoping the reality is as good as the theory... but as a single 40-something who has tried online dating, I'm a bit leery, as well.

Like you, I want to meet new people and expand my social horizons, not just dating - although that would be nice too ;) So I, too, am seeking sites that might attract others with similar interests and mindsets as mine, as well as those that are related to topics that interest me in general.

Since my original response above, I discovered the iRovr site and have met many interesting people, and we have started to meet up in person with people in our local area, too! Just yesterday, I met up with 4 others from the site in NYC. We can get rather silly on that site, but we have discussed deeper personal problems and other life issues, as well. I haven’t even tried iPling in well over a month because it was so buggy. The same with another iPhone based social site that I tried before iRovr.