How did you transform into the adult you are today? What were you like before you turned into a parent?

I was as crazy and as wild of a teen as they come. I am really grateful to my mom right now for dealing with me as a teenager. It started from when I was about 12 up until 18 years old. I did all the crazy and bad things a teenage girl could get herself into. Running away, drugs, boys, police, stolen cars, alcohol, suicide, bad acid trips, gangs, hollywood, etc.etc.

I am happy I went through those things though because I got it all out of my system.

I became the person I am today because I wanted kids someday. I know that sounds cheesy but I never overdosed or committed suicide because I always thought to myself I want to see my child’s face. And I know I need to be there for people who needed me.

I was never rude or disrespectful as a teenager though. I was more self destructive. I take care of myself now. A little too much :)

I know some friends in high school that I partied and got in trouble with, are still doing the same thing. I’m not friends with them anymore. After high school I completely cut a lot of people out my life.

Before I became a father, I was focussed on what I had to do for myself and wasn’t really that sensitive to what was happening in the world. Then my first child was born, and things started to revolve around her. I also became more compassionate about certain things——environmental stuff and the plight of disadvantaged kids around the world. I even became more “open-hearted” to the everyday child on the street.

But I have to say that even in my 20s, I was always mature in my outlook. I knew I wanted to get married and have children, but I also knew I had to get established first before I did those things, so that my children would be financially supported well and not have to worry about where their next meal was coming from, or if they had warm clothes to wear during the winter.

I consider myself an adult, but I’m not a parent.

I’d think that most people become mature eventually. Some faster than others.

Is being a parent part of being an adult?

@Aethelflaed

Not all (people who acted maturely/responsibly)-adults need to be parents. But to be a parent one should have certain traits so that child has a happy & good life and is a helpful part of a nurturing society.

I was always quite responsible, had a strong work ethic and didn’t let people down. Other than that I was a bit crazy, silly and at times spontaneous or even a bit reckless.

What is a ‘good’ parent? Parents are individuals and some really great parents are like big kids. To me it is making sure my children know I love them, that I am there for them and they can rely on me but I would hardly say I am a serious ‘grown-up’. I have fun with my children. We are silly together. I am not one of their mates though. I am always their parent.

I don’t think I’ve changed too much. I would occassionally do something daring or crazy but for the most part, I always took all of my responsibilities seriously. I just took better care of my health when the kids came about because I realized they would need me at my best till they were grown, so I didn’t want to take chances that may compromise my health.
I guess, I also learned patience.
There are a few more changes but most of those have more to do with time and just slowing down with age.

I don’t think I was ever much different. I have always been concerned with others and making the world a better place. I have always been interested in parenting, but I thought my ideas about parenting probably weren’t very standard ideas. I’ve always felt a responsibility for making the world a better place. Finding love and becoming a parent were all a part of that.

My grandparents instilled in me the drive to be able to take care of myself rather than hope or expect someone else to do it. I grew up with the idea I never wanted marriage or children so I knew I had to make my own way. Circumstances with my separated parents drove me to become the financial supporter of my family when I was a teen so it was easier for me to face taking care of myself when it came time to move out on my own. That I got married, that people have helped me over the years has been a bonus and much appreciated because it wasn’t looked for, not expected.

For teens today to imagine taking care of themselves, they have to have some sort of ideal that it’s responsible, a source of comfort and even pride not to expect or wait on others. I was raised in what’s thought of as old fashioned thinking that children, as soon as they are able, go and not only take on responsibility for themselves but that they give back to family. It was important to be able to help my parents back, kind of in reverse for the years they put in raising me. Technically I should only have put in 10 years or so but I continue to want to help and to do nice things.