General Question

bluejay's avatar

Would it be a stupid idea to move out when I'm 17?

Asked by bluejay (1009points) January 21st, 2012

I will be getting a job very soon. I know where I will go and it won’t cost me a dime to live there. It’s right near my school so I can and will continue my education. I just want to start the second chapter of my life early so I can forget about chapter one. I still have a long time to think about it and I’m not entirly sure I’ll go threw with it, but every fiber of my being is telling me to go. Go and I’ll be as free as a bird. Free to do nothing else but go to school and go to work. What do you think? Is it a really bad decision or no?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I don’t think it’s a bad idea. You will learn a lot, and grow up quickly. But before you decide, really take the time to figure out how much you will earn, and what your expenses will be. And be realistic- rent, food, clothes, books, cable, cell phone and internet access, gas and electric, and entertainment, even just a movie once in a while. I think where young people, and older people too, get in trouble is underestimating all the various costs to live.

The other thing is: do you have a safety net if things go bad? Would you be allowed back home if you emancipate yourself? Or, are things so bad at home that you have to get out? I’m not trying to persuade you either way, just hope that you think it all the way through.

A woman I used to work with started where i work at the age of 16, a few months before her 17th birthday. She was a great worker, and many of us watched over her like older brothers. She was strong and has had a pretty good life since. So it can be done!

bluejay's avatar

There’s no rent where I’m going. Don’t even ask lol I don’t want anyone to know where I am going. I don’t want any visitors, and one of my friends in real life comes on here so yeah. Anyway, I don’t buy books either. I just go to the library. I don’t want cable, and I don’t care for a cell phone. I have internet access at the library. I don’t have to pay for heat or electricity, and my entertainment is my pets and the world around me.
Yeah I could go back if I had to. Things aren’t really to bad here. I mean my only real issue is that my mom and brother are cold and unloving. It sucks everyday waking up and coming home from hanging out knowing that my closest relatives couldn’t give a rats a** about me. It hurts to much and I just want to start a new life without them.

WestRiverrat's avatar

One thing to consider is that many utilities and businesses will not enter contracts with you without a parent or guardian cosigning. Because you are under 18, in most of the US anyway, you cannot enter into legally binding contracts because you are a minor. You would be fine, but the company would have to fulfill their end of the contract without you having to fulfill yours.

partyrock's avatar

Not a stupid idea just please be prepared. Save as much money as you possibly can. Always have the next month’s rent, before you spend on anything else. That is the best advice I can have. So save, save, save…..

Aethelflaed's avatar

@bluejay You need a phone of some type, cell or landline (cheap cells are cheaper than landlines), to call 911. You also need a working phone number for a lot of things, like letting your work contact you, or if someone needs to come out and do home repairs.

You can move out, but you really can’t get away from your parents until you’re 18, because you’ll still need them to sign legal contracts. You need them for medical insurance/Medicaid. If you get in trouble with the law (like for staying out past curfew), they’ll still be called. If you live in Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming, it’s illegal for you to run away (which is what you’d be doing). If you lose your job, you’ll have to have your parents sign all the tax and child labor forms.

Also, don’t underestimate how crazy expensive food is. And then adding in all the regular but infrequent expenses – car oil changes, haircuts, buying new batteries, buying more trashbags, buying more bandaids, etc – really add up. And then there’s the stuff you can’t anticipate needing to buy – the pair of scissors broke and needs to be replace, the car needs work, the broom snapped in half – it just goes on and on. And since you’re a minor, there’s a limit to how much you can work, and therefore earn.

You can, but if things aren’t really, really bad at home, I wouldn’t advise it. You won’t be as free as you think, especially not on the bigger things. It’s really rough, and probably won’t be a better situation.

bluejay's avatar

@Aethelflaed I know I’ll still have to see them. I planned to see them like once a week. I just can’t stand seeing them everyday. So much anger has built up inside me because I have to live with them. I’ve been wanting to leave since I was really little for that reason. We just don’t get along.

gorillapaws's avatar

Have you approached your school councilor about this by any chance? I think it’s important to have the support of other adults for something like this to work out well. Running away won’t change how you feel about your family, it’s just going to make that anger/resentment build up even more. Best wishes and stay safe.

YARNLADY's avatar

If there’s no rent, it doesn’t seem like really moving out, just exchanging one live-in situation for a different one. You will have a new set of circumstances, but the same old adjustment issues.

Just be sure you don’t leave others with hard feelings against you when you leave, since you might want to come back.

mattbrowne's avatar

Yes, if you have not finished high school and secured a place where you get professional training afterwards.

LuckyGuy's avatar

While you are living “rent free”, you might find that the costs are far greater than you ever imagined. What will you have to do to stay there? (Don’t answer.)

Yes, it is a bad idea. Unless you are someone like Bill Gates, by taking that job and moving our you are risking not finishing school, and that will severely limit your life choices down the road.

I know I am going to sound like a boring, stick-in-the-mud here but unless you are in an abusive, dangerous relationship at home, stay in school and do the best you can to get the Best grades you can! That will be your ticket out.

janbb's avatar

If you can see a way to make sure you finish your education and possibly go to college and if you are in tremendous pain, it may be a very good idea. Is there any way you can do it as a trial for three or four months with the option of moving back in? That would be the best. It is hard to live with unloving people. Will you get more love where you are going?

LostInParadise's avatar

Have you spoken to your parents about this? Make sure that you are on good terms with them and that you can come back if things do not work out. Once that is taken care of, I see nothing wrong with moving out. That you want to finish school and are also able to hold down a job shows a certain level of maturity and responsibility.

marinelife's avatar

I moved out when I was 17, and I don’t regret it. I say go for it!

EverRose11's avatar

I also moved out when I was 17, I have never looked back with regret. When I was seventeen
It was a very good year. Go live your Life, now a days in this day and age I think there is way to much advice being thrown around and very little understanding, or compassion..I believe more of us need to sit back and Remember the Magic that was…. when we were still just 17 !

Rock2's avatar

Go for it. See what happens. Allow for a backup plan.

gailcalled's avatar

When do you turn 18?
Will you graduate (high school?) in June. Can you concentrate enough to do well if you have a radical life change? Granted, living at home is pretty distracting, I know, but sometimes better the devil you know.

If your free rent arrangement doesn’t work out, do you have a contingency plan?

Lots of wonderful comments above. (Other than “Remember the Magic” which will not buy you car insurance.)

bluejay's avatar

Thanks everyone for your advise! I have been thinking about it for a long time and I still have a while to think about it. If I leave and things don’t work out I do have a back up plan ready.

Coloma's avatar

Yep, I too moved out at 17 and a half.
I took it even further, I moved, all by myself to a remote 200 acre mountain/lake property as a caretaker and lived the life of Thoreau, homesteading, growing my own, yes, it was the 70’s and there was a special patch of gardening on the ol’ farmstead. lol
I lived in a rustic cabin, the drinking water came from an underground spring, no phone, no electricity.
My horse was my only transportation aside from a canoe that could get me to the nearest campground 8 miles away over rugged terrain.

BEST thing I ever did!

If you’re going to jump the family ship make it really count, have an adventure, a really BIG adventure!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Get yourself a bank account if you don’t already have one. Once you have that, put aside whatever money you can so if it comes up once you’ve moved out that you do need to go to a paying rent situation, you can have the deposits & fees on hand.

Get yourself a cheapo celly. They do come in handy for emergencies. I’ve got a Straight Talk one from WallyMart. It cost me $45.00 to start, phone and phone card included. Now I pay $32. a month and have phone/text/camera/internet. It’s unsophisticated and slow but when needed, it’s come through.

Establish a post office box for general mail and an agreement with someone who has a permanent physical address for stuff that won’t deliver to a post office box. They’re like $15.+ a month but you’ll need it.

Look into going to a community college now for summer classes, advanced HS classes, whatever you can get to fast track yourself. Once you leave your parents’ house, things look different, they just do (I did the same as you) and you’ll want to be around people who feel positive, supportive and focused.

Working and making money feels great, especially when you feel you are taking better care of yourself than others have but if you have a field of study picked out, try hard not to get sidetracked.

bluejay's avatar

@Coloma That’s a part of the reason I want to leave! An adventure.

wundayatta's avatar

If you’ve got everything planned—job, place to live, enough money to give you what you need, and whatever else is necessary, then it could be fine.

It sounds like you want to move out because you aren’t feeling the love at home. It sounds really cold. Do they really not care at all about you? Is it worse then that? Do they try to actively make your life miserable?

Well, you’re the one in it and you’re the only one who knows how bad it really is. All I can say is that it would have to be really really bad for me to leave at 17. But then, I would have been giving up college if I left. If it’s bad enough, then I don’t think it would be a stupid move. But you’re the only one who can say it is bad enough.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther