Social Question

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Anything about your partner that annoys you a bit?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (11025points) May 31st, 2012

I love her dearly, but this girl is the messiest person that I know, ha. I am cleaning her bathroom and her floor looks like a Rorschach (of many colors).

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38 Answers

fluthernutter's avatar

My husband has this bizarre habit of flushing the toilet before he has entirely finished urinating. There’s always a little bit of urine in the toilet after he finishes. It drives me crazy, so I flush it. Then I feel bad for wasting water.

I don’t get why he does it.

Supacase's avatar

Ha. Funny you ask. I found out last night that, apparently, my rambling is annoying. Example: looking online for a trip and I mentioned a few that look good. In between I mentioned a couple of interesting or unusual ones I saw. It was irritating that I was mentioning all of these things that I knew weren’t real possibilities or even things I would want to do.

The fact that I’m cluttery (not a hoarder and not dirty) has moved well beyond an irritation for him.

What irritates me about him? He only calls me by name if we are arguing.

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here; How shall I count the ways?

Aster's avatar

Too many to list and not feel guilty:
Leaves all kitchen cabinet doors open;
Hates haircuts when all he has to do is sit;
Refuses to eat most foods including eggs;
Has NEVER changed toilet paper rolls;
Watches Gunsmoke at least once per day when he has a 65” screen and satellite.

janbb's avatar

That he left – but I’m all right now!

marinelife's avatar

@fluthernutter Mine does that too, and it drives me nuts!

nikipedia's avatar

I guess we’re still in that honeymoon stage but I can honestly say no, he never annoys me.

Sometimes I tease him about his inability to put trash in the garbage (he’ll even put it down NEXT TO THE TRASH CAN) but it doesn’t really bother me.

When we were first dating, he had a tendency to invite me to events with only his family or friends, and then go off and talk to someone or play games on his phone, leaving me alone. It drove me nuts, and he didn’t understand because he’s so gregarious and loves meeting new people. Now that I both know what to expect and know all his people it’s no longer an issue.

picante's avatar

Oh, don’t get me started. Probably the top spot goes to his immediate denial or rejection of anything I say, leading to an exhausting effort to meet in the middle. It goes like this:

He said: Have you seen my (fill in the blank)?
She said: I think I saw it on the (bill in the blank).
He said: No, it can’t be there.
She said: Well, if it’s there, then obviously it can be there.
He looks in suggested location and finds item: I can’t believe I put in there—did you move it?
She says: expletive deleted

This is actually pretty tame. I have some doozies almost daily if I choose to engage. Mostly, I’m just pretty quiet.

tedd's avatar

Not so much an issue with my current g/f (though I’ve encountered it with her a few times) but indecisiveness or vocalness over things.

For example:
Guy: Hey babe, we’re going out for dinner. Where do you want to go?
Girl: I dunno, you pick something.
Guy: Ok, how about place X, or place Y, or place Z?
Girl: I dunno, which one do you want?
Guy: All of them, that’s why I suggested them. Do you have a preference?
Girl: No, you pick one.
Guy: Ok lets go to place Y.
Girl: Good that’s what I wanted to get.
Guy: stunned silence

Huge turn off.

Aster's avatar

Has never been seen reading a book in 25 years;
Tags along if I go to lunch with a GIRLFRIEND without him being asked;
Becomes jealous if I eat out at a place he DOESN’T LIKE if I’m with a relative;
Has never changed the dogs’ water bowl;
Stopped loading/unloading the dishwasher the SECOND we got married.
But…he has also done REMARKABLY generous things for my kids and put up with the worst CRAP from them that would send many men racing for the hills.

fluthernutter's avatar

@marinelife Your husband too? I’m perplexed (as to why they both do this) and relieved (that my husband isn’t the only weirdo who does this).

Has he ever given you a reason as to why he does it?

cazzie's avatar

Well, the fact he has ADD and ASD is frustrating. He travels around the world for work and he doesn’t hide how excited and anxious he is to leave us. This past month he was in Korea a week and in Canada a week. He’s been home for 4 days now and he can’t cope. Today, he decided to just leave. He sent me an SMS to say he was checking into a hotel in town and didn’t know when he would be back.

He doesn’t do any cleaning or taking out of the garbage or home maintenance. He is unable /unwilling to look after the kids on his own for more than a few hours at a time on a good day. He stopped paying the bills about 8 months ago and over the last 10 years had three credit cards go to collection and then court because he could not manage them.

He loves to make me feel small and stupid by pointing out facts that he seems to think everyone should just know. The very fact that he has an IQ over 170 but is still as stupid as a snail pisses me off.

tinyfaery's avatar

Messy. Messy. Messy. Ugh.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Girlllll, I hear you.

tedd's avatar

@cazzie That man sounds like an idiot…. an idiot I would divorce.

cazzie's avatar

Yeah, @tedd I’ve looked into it. I have no means of supporting myself here. No family. No friends. No money. If it were just me, I would have left years ago, but my son needs a decent roof over his head and a decent school district to live in. At least he leaves a lot, but I am worried about what he has done to my credit rating here, and he has kept the mortgage paid, so we have a roof. If I left now, the best I could hope for is a place for a few weeks at the women’s shelter in the city (out of my son’s school district) and then a county funded tiny apartment (again, in the city) when one opens up. I really don’t want to put my son through that ordeal.

OpryLeigh's avatar

When I am talking to him on the phone I get put on hold a lot as people are always ringing him. If it’s business I don’t mind but if it’s a personal call from one of his friends I get annoyed at being put on hold as I would never dream if doing the same to him. It’s one of those things that we have different feelings about.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

This one annoys me enough for us to argue: if he’s home early (alone) then he’ll let my dog up on our bed and the two of them will eat chicken wings with sauces together. He says it’s their “ritual” once a week but it drives me nuts cleaning my dog’s butt after he gets the inevitable messy poo and there’s always sauce goo on our bedding.

The “toilet seat up or toilet seat down” thing. Since he won’t sit down and doesn’t clean bathrooms then he pays for a house cleaner once a month. Annoyance aside, our home now benefits overall by him not sitting down on the toilet.

There’s little stuff like collecting dirty glasses in our bedroom or overstuffing the bathroom trash bin until asked to take it out but, oh well because his positives are still great enough that I can laugh at these other things.

cazzie's avatar

Oh, I have just been enlightened and it has just dawned on me. He went into town because he wanted to see the Promethius movie at midnight. Of course, he couldn’t just SAY that to me. He had to have a huge pout, leave without saying anything and then lead me to believe he was so sad and upset about his life he couldn’t possibly spend one more night in the same house. I was so upset I couldn’t eat dinner and now I can’t fucking sleep, I am so pissed off.

Bellatrix's avatar

Very little about him annoys me. I am much more annoying than he is.

Things I can think of now (and I am sure there are other things that have slipped my mind) is he takes a long time to get things done. Things are often put on the 10 year plan.

There are also a couple of things he does when driving that I don’t like.

Really, I feel pretty damn lucky to have him in my life and any flaws are insignificant.

AshLeigh's avatar

My boyfriend is evil. He tries his hardest to annoy me. XD

woodcutter's avatar

Finding out where she would like to go to dine when we go out. Since I do all the driving it’s a good thing to know as soon as posible. It’s like pulling teeth.

Sunny2's avatar

He asks me to make a phone call for him while he’s at work. I do and get the information he wanted. His response then is, “Did you ask about this? or that? What about….” My mind doesn’t ask followup questions when I’m not the one with the questions in the first place. He’s learning that if he wants to know more than the question he told me to ask, to make the call himself.
It’s not a big deal. I’m just not as thorough a thinker as he is. I suspect it’s more of a irritation to him.

cazzie's avatar

I just got a door slammed on me in a very small room and now my ear is bleeding a bit and it hurts like hell. That is something to complain about, I think.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

You need to find a way out of the situation.

cazzie's avatar

What do I do with the kids, @Mama_Cakes ? And I guess I deserved it. I opened a bottle of wine without asking.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

How many kids? When does school end? Do you have any family or friends who could help you out?

cazzie's avatar

No family. No friends. It was the air pressure that hurt my ear. He had no way of knowing that would happen when he got pissed at me and slammed the door to the room. I don’t care. He’ll be off soon. Two kids and one is special needs, but has a bio mother who needs a place to drop him off when she gets tired.

The guy is ADD with ASD himself. Do I absolutely hate him sometimes, YES. Do I have to sleep with him, NO. He doesn’t come to bed. It is like having an annoying flatmate who pays all of the mortgage and gives me a free place to live. He’ll be gone on another job soon.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

How old is your child? Is your child in school? If your child is old enough, I would think about getting a job, leaving and supporting you and your child. There has to be help where you live.

cazzie's avatar

@Mama_Cakes sounds so easy, doesn’t it. I am unemployable here. I just got a tip on a ‘maybe’ job, but it is working freelance. No one is going to rent to a foreign, single mother with no income. At the moment, we have a roof over our heads and money for food. Sometimes the internet/tv gets shut off and sometimes we get down to the day the power will be turned off, but those bills get paid in the end. If I was on my own, I wouldn’t even have a computer. The freelance job I might be starting next week needs a computer and internet connection and it pays more than cleaning toilets.

He will be leaving more often soon. He talked to his work on Friday. He will go back to working for two departments (no pay rise) but they will let him pick his jobs so he will be going to places like Brazil for 6 weeks or more at a time.

This has been a waiting game for some years. Waiting for the oldest boy, my autistic step son) to turn 18 (which he does this week!) and, now, waiting for the younger one to get old enough to have a house key and keep himself busy if I have to be working in town. The youngest one isn’t quite there yet. My youngest is having trouble in school and bullies and fighing. I like this school and how things are going and I would have to leave this school district if I left the Asshole. I can put up with just about anything for my kids.

mattbrowne's avatar

Putting cups in the sink instead of on the kitchen counter or in the dishwasher. I can’t fill our water boiler without having to remove them.

gailcalled's avatar

@mattbrowne: What’s a water boiler?

mattbrowne's avatar


In Germany most people don’t use kettles placed on a stove, because water boilers are faster and use less energy.

Maybe the term is UK English.

gailcalled's avatar

@mattbrowne: It looks lovely, but then you don’t have the pleasure of putting the kettle on as seemingly everyone does in a British mystery novel.

Is that now standard equipment for a German kitchen and not a nice little extra?

cazzie's avatar

@mattbrowne Some offices and commerical tea rooms have those. We have an electric jug I bought when I moved here to Norway because I got so tired of waiting for the electric element on the stove to heat up and then heat a pot of water. My in-laws thought it was such a good idea when they saw mine, I bought them one as a gift. She doesn’t remember how she ever did without it.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

She hit snooze for an hour this morning. The alarm went off every 5 minutes, starting at 5:30. She normally hits snooze 4 or 5 times in the morning. I’m like a wet dishrag walking around this morning, haha.

mattbrowne's avatar

@gailcalled – Good question. I actually can’t remember any German kitchen that doesn’t feature such an electric water boiler, so I guess you could call it standard equipment. In the 80ies a few students didn’t have one, I think.

@cazzie – Yes, they are common in offices too, usually the 3000 watt models.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Mama_Cakes: ARRRGH! That borders on torture or abuse.

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