General Question

babygalll's avatar

What do I do?

Asked by babygalll (2748points) June 1st, 2008

I just found out that a relative is having her wedding next year on Valentine’s Day! I know it’s still a long way out there, but I don’t know what to do. I would love not to go to the wedding, since I dislike this relative. Any ideas on what to do? The majority of the people there are married or have someone. I just don’t want to spend that evening alone. In the past they have never put and guest on my invitation.

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13 Answers

wizard's avatar

You ask them if it’s ok if you bring Romeo!

babygalll's avatar

At her sisters wedding someone asked if they can bring their boyfriend…They said no.

wizard's avatar

If you know some kind fellows their you can just relax with them at the wedding, that way you don’t look alone.

wildflower's avatar

When it gets closer to the day, just tell them you’re seeing someone and you’d like to spend your first Valentine’s together – they’ll either have to let you bring a date or be understanding that you won’t be attending.

DeezerQueue's avatar

You might be jumping the gun with your worries. If you haven’t yet received a formal invitation and have only “found out” that the relative is having her wedding then, you have nothing to be concerned about. You also have the option of not attending, as well. There’s no obligation to attend a function for someone you don’t get on with, however, if you do receive an invitation you should RSVP whether you do or do not want to attend, and sending a small gift, cash or otherwise, not having to necessarily be sizable either, would also be appropriate, although not required. Depending on your relationship, a card can also fit the bill. Ignoring the invitation altogether, however, never fits the bill.

Bri_L's avatar

The evil part of me thinks that if I were really wanted at a wedding then I would be allowed to bring someone especially in a situation where everyone else is married.

That being said, I understand budgets and such are an issue. I would go with what wizard, wildflower and DeezerQue said.

jlm11f's avatar

@ BriL – COOL fluther score right now (1111)

wildflower's avatar

I spotted that too and almost don’t want to give him any GA’s now….almost

Bri_L's avatar

hehehe Hey, I hit 1000. whoo hoo

susanc's avatar

babyg, if you and the persons being married aren’t even friendly, why go? If you don’t
go, they’ll be delighted! it’ll save them money!! You don’t have to explain,
either. Show goodwill as directed by Deezer and forget all about it.

babygalll's avatar

Well, long story..In short. I skipped out on the engagement, because of that reason. The only reason I am going is out of respect for my family. Mostly my father, since it’s his niece.

I am just upset, because in the past they never put and guest on my invitations and I know they won’t for this wedding.

Bri_L's avatar

@ babygalll – have you talked to your father about it?

DeezerQueue's avatar

Maybe it’s time for you to let go of it. Make a decision and then stick with it. It’s hard to believe that your father would remain angry with you if you elected not to go (if in fact you’re invited) and elected to send a gift or card instead. That shows some level of courtesy on your part.

It’s hard to give good advice, though, because we never really know all of the details leading up to this and chances are that there’s a lot more than meets the eye, usually a person won’t get upset over not having been invited to one event.

Ultimately, though, the decision, as an adult, is yours, and it would be better if you can reach a solution where all parties are happy with it so that it doesn’t continue on, unresolved. I encourage you to discuss it with those directly involved with you to come to that decision, when the time is right.

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